05-22-2020, 09:25 PMFerda Wrote:

05-22-2020, 03:09 PMsve7en Wrote: I misread this and was really confused.

It’s not my fault buddy. If only we could Wag each other’s Wang some time. Hopefully my reply doesn’t rustle your Jimmy-s. Good luck in your upcoming season in the J. The Kraken, and eventually the Panthers, are lucky to have such a great guy on the ice. Let’s try to get in touch when we can and maybe go grab some grub together when you get to the big show. Until then, keep your head up and stay on the grind.

05-22-2020, 03:09 PMGooney Wrote: hey ferda it's gooney

HEYYYYYY WADDUP HOMIE. I thought you helped that bottom pairing plug Augustus Wang retire. I had prepared some supa hot fire from the depths of my quarantine dungeon about how lucky we are to be rid of that scum on Earth. Like I’m just trying to purchase some of that good shit (if you know what I mean) from SHLKush.com using HIS promo code (WANG20). One time I actually got in and was able to add a couple grams of herb, but due to their site being constantly barraged with customers, I couldn’t get past the checkout section. I guess we should all keep trying. Oh yeah, that retiring thing. Very unfortunate to hear that Wang LiQin decided to hang em’ up because he was a pioneer for all the Asians out there. I’ll catch you on the flip side though Goon dog. We gotta let the Big Wanger get started on answer some of these questions from the media, otherwise we are going to be here all day. The people love the Big Wanger, so it is only fair that we let em’ have a taste.

05-22-2020, 03:09 PM5ympathies Wrote: how did you finesse buffalo out of 7 million

Good question buddy, the answer is not as simple as you may think. I went to the Simulation Hockey League School of Cameron Carter II also known as the Baby GOAT class which is an entirely invite only private school. As you and many others may know, Cameron Carter II is world renowned for his ungodly ability to finesse Simulation Hockey League general managers using his sneaky “10 by 10” negotiating powers. Turns out, there is a lot more that goes into the entire process. You’d think that money is not the motivating factor going into on ice success. However, Cameron Carter II has shown time and time again that the more money you invest into the prime meat horse, the more points, hits and overall team success that you will get out him. He instilled in me that it is not worth wasting your prime away making a measly minimum wage contract because your general managers are always thinking about what is best for their own team. Cameron Carter II, also known as CC2, JODAN or 2 time BACK TO BACK JEFF DAR TROPHY WINNER, made it clear that taking 10 million dollars for 10 seasons will magically skyrocket you to stardom as your team practices, training and in game performance will be better than anyone that earns less than you each season. This is the same mentality that I used when I first signed my entry level contract worth 11 million over 2 seasons, with 7 million being paid in my very first season with the Buffalo Stampede. In signing the contract, I can affirm that I gained a sudden boost in overall morale and a sudden hunger to win at all costs. This was all the juice I needed in order to get the edge on all of my opponents because I was a finalist for the Quilha Agante Trophy for best defenseman in the SMJHL for consecutive seasons and did not win. Do you want to know why? I think you already know that answer and that is because I did not receive a 10 year, 10 million dollar contract from the general managers of the Buffalo Stampede. On the other hand, everyone knew that I was worthy of the 2 time 1st Team All-SMJHL nominations. Fortunately for the Anchorage Armada, I value individual awards and nominations much lower than team awards. This is why in Season 51 of the SMJHL, all of us in the boat gang pulled through and won the Four Star Cup with my own performance playing a big part in raising the trophy in game 7 of the finals. In fact, if you didn’t know already, ya boi actually scored the game winning goal in game 7 to secure the finals. Some may argue that I tried to throw the game by receiving a delay of game penalty in the final 5 minutes of the game, but you remember what I said earlier. If I was paid at least 10 million dollars, then I would have been more careful about clearing the zone and would have given people less of a heart attack. Anyways, I think at this point you understand the whole concept of the Cameron Carter II, aka the GOAT, process because you can’t sell yourself short in this league. “You don’t last long” is what your girlfriend said to me last night, but it’s also what Cameron Carter II says about your longevity in this league. You need to take as much money as you can and maybe you’ll see as much success as I have had so far in my career. The New England Wolfpack are definitely undercutting your value and maybe you should test free agency as soon as possible to see what your true potential is. Hell, you may even get that highly touted 10 year, 10 million dollar contract and unlock that final gear just like how Goku went from Super Saiyan 5 to Super Saiyan 6 and reach a power level of over 9000! At the very least, you will clap some more dick, Dick Clapper. Your name sounds very painful, but you know I am always down for some CBT with the crew.

05-22-2020, 03:10 PMbluesfan55 Wrote: hi wanger, big fan

how have you enjoyed your time in buffalo to date
favorite memory in anchorage?
what happened to my shlkush.com delivery? i used code WANG20 for that spicy discount but my order hasn't shipped and it's been 7 months

Hey its my main man DJ MvDH! Bro, we go way back so there is no need to be a big fan. Hell, you are a homie in my book. I have been keeping up with you and the boat gang. Sad to see how the playoffs ended for the boys, but I’m proud of how you have grown as a player as you took the reigns as Captain of the ship. It is safe to say that you did not fail to disappoint this year as you won Ideen Fallah Trophy for the MOST VALUABLE PLAYER, as voted by the awards committee, this past season buddy. Even though you guys may not have won the chip, nobody can say that you didn’t have an extraordinary season in the J and that made me proud as an Anchorage alumnus. You proved everyone wrong and helped keep Anchorage in the fight for as long as you could. Anyways, we will definitely have to find time when your New Orleans Specters meet my Buffalo stampede to catch up and have dinner or something. Until then, let me dive into the questions you have given me.

• How have you enjoyed your time in Buffalo to date?
  

Well, I think the easiest way to put it is by first talking about the transition from the J into the SHL because life has changed a lot for me, and it will change just as much for you. Hopefully that change in lifestyle is for the better. First off, I think the anxiety and intimidation of the entering the league as a high draft pick rookie is vastly overstated. This may be different for someone joining a bubble (middling) team where they hope that you provide immediate impact to put them over the top and into the playoffs. Sure, I felt the same pressures to perform at a high level, but definitely not to the extent that some people make it out to be. I think a lot of relief came from the veteran presence that exists in the Buffalo locker room because all of the guys in there have been great at mentoring me at being a better person before becoming a better player. Their overall maturity made my own transition to the team much easier. I think the biggest factor for me was that I was placed into the bottom pairing with heavy defensive duties for the entire season which put less pressure on me to perform. At first, I was taken back because I was so accustomed to being the team’s star defenseman, but the vets helped smooth the bumps that I had moving into a lesser role on a top team. Remember back in my days on Anchorage when coach would have me out there to try and spark some offense? Well, it was a relief to say the least when I was given the opportunity to grow the defensive side of my game and continue to become more well rounded as a player. I think its hilarious that the armchair analysts talking were shit about me. They wouldn’t say all of that shit to me at a press conference, I’m jacked. Not only that but I wear the freshest clothes, eat at the chillest restaurants and hang out with the hottest dudes. They’re all are pathetic. If anything, the relatively consistent winning made it an easier pill to swallow because that means I was doing my job at least. In terms of the other aspects of being in Buffalo and the SHL in general, I have enjoyed it way more than the shitty old buses and planes back in the J. Yeah there is a lot more travelling involved in the SHL, but having a nice comfy seat with good heat and air conditioning or a nice massage chair in the team jet has made life so much easier. Not only that, but the team staff and facilities are just more advanced than the J due to there being more money in the league. The food is definitely the other improvement that I’ve had but that might only be an Anchorage thing. We would play so many games at home but the restaurants and stores close so early that I can’t even sneak in a quick cheat meal afterwards since they ALL close right after our games would end. Plus, the food choices were so limited there too. I’d actually look forward to playing away games because there was so much more to eat. When you’re up in the show next season, you’ll see how much weight, I mean, muscle I’ve gained since we last talked in person.

• Favorite memory in Anchorage?
  

Alright this is a tough question because my instincts are telling me to say the Season 51 Four Star Cup win since that’s the grand slam, but that is more of a team thing and it doesn’t say “Big Wanger” unless you start to think about who was on that team. I think I will go with becoming the all-time leader in points by a defenseman in my final regular season game on the Armada. After a long grueling tenure on the Anchorage Armada, I’m glad that I was able to cement myself in team history because I still reminisce about the fun times and interactions that I have had. Putting myself in the team’s record books serves as a memory that I will forever remember because I will be recognized for the success that I had on the team. Well, at least until that record is broken by the next up and coming Armada defenseman.

• What happened to my SHLKush.com delivery? I used code WANG20 for that spicy discount, but my order hasn't shipped, and it's been 7 months.
  

Wow you’re a lucky one man, as my man Ferda said earlier, he ended up being stuck at the checkout screen until he was ultimately knocked off the site because it got overwhelmed by traffic as per usual. I don’t know when it’ll ship man because that is not what I am involved in, but I’ll forward them your info and see what I can do. If anything, I’ll hook you up with whatever you were looking for when we play against each other in preseason or the regular season or something. I don’t know man; I’ll just try my best to get you what you need. I can’t stand seeing one of my boys being left out to dry. You know ya boi Big Wanger is going to come through big time for ya so don’t worry.