Hello, Luffy Richard here to tell you about the best home ice on earth--Vancouver. There is nothing like a city that will riot for any reason which puts the fear of god into any team that comes to our city, because they know they might not make it out alive. Not only that, but the Whalers have a supporting staff that are logistical geniuses that could put the Whalers on the moon overnight without blinking an eye. Let me tall you about my stall, my home away from home. There is nothing more majestic than the care Carl Witherspoon puts into preparing my stall for me. Not only does he sage it before each game, he leaves a little bowl of dried lavender because he knows there is nothing more soothing to my soul than lavender. After my aura has been purged I just can't help but go out there and knock a few people through the glass. Carl puts out my favorite tape, and has back-up headphones charged for me in case I forgot mine, that way I can get down to some Unleash the Archers, or my ambient rain sounds which help with my stretches. Every Whaler is treated like a king, so why would any other team have a chance in our barn?

Not to mention the delicious food we have to offer such as Rowdy Ramen, so spicy you only borrow it. We even have our own brewing company within our barn, so our fans can get sauced at a discount to hype us up and rain down passive aggressive taunts at our opponents. Nothing hurts more than a "mean girls" type comment to a guy who is on a cold streak.

We have an in-house band that plays only the greatest hits from underrated Canadian legends 3 Inches of Blood. I tell ya, I get withdrawals from being away from this place, its electric!

so there you have it folks, other cities need not apply.

Luffy Richard,

out.