Quote:Which SHL or SMJHL team has the most significant Home Ice Advantage? Feel free to try and use stats from this season or the history of the league if you want to find the real answer; also feel free to make something up based on things like local fan base, in-arena ice and entertainment, goal songs, GM mischief, etc.

Winnipeg has the most significant home ice advantage. Why? Because it’s sponsored by the famed ACME corp. First, the water bottles on the visiting team’s bench are actually all explosive decoys. There’s a cartoon mouse that runs back and forth on the floor of the bench, tying players’ skates together. The opposing team’s players sometimes find themselves flattened like an accordion by anvils falling from the arena’s ceiling. And finally, the exit from the dressing room is painted on to a solid wall, so every time the visitors try to head back to the ice, they all comically hit their heads on solid brick.

It should be noted that this all started happening after the Jets’ partnership with the Looney Tunes began. Head Office officials are currently investigating reports of a short man claiming to be from Mars. ■

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