167 words
Tom Fiddler did not do as well as I would have hoped. For the 3rd season of 4, he garnered just 20 points, although this time he saw 5 goals instead of 1. I had been hoping for better production due to having a better team, but the combination of having a rookie on the line sort of offset any progress I had hoped to make. 20 points was not even good for top of the team. I attribute this to playing first line against people like Theo Morgan, while our second line played against other bonafide second liners, allowing them better opportunities. Lastly, my give-aways rocketed up and my take-aways faltered. I collected 0 milestone TPE this season. But, we play for the team, not ourselves, so I am not terribly upset. I think with the injection of yet more talent, season 57 will look a lot better for Tom Fiddler. We have new defensemen and wingers coming into play that should help things a lot.


119 words
I think a worse, or at least different setup would be to have an 8-man tournament with the 8 lowest teams "playing in" like the NHL playoffs. This means that bottom tier teams can still make the playoffs based on some memery. The series is a best of 5 and if top tier teams can lose, they get a lottery pick. It's the worst possible thing, because if a team like Buf screws the pooch, they can pick up a top 8 lottery pick, and potentially grab the best player in the draft. And, if a team like TBB wins through memes and fuckery, we can play hamilton in the next round and lose 0-4 with 60 goals against.


158 words
The best possible location for a playoff bubble is in Tampa Bay, because its the one place you actually need a bubble because it's a disease ridden shit hole even without a pandemic. Couple that with the fact that Florida's governor is too busy passing laws that allow civilians to shoot looters on sight (lets read that again, you get to become an extrajudicial executioner for the crime of PROPERTY DAMAGE (double read that again, the penalty for property damage is DEATH)) to do anything about the virus itself. While in the bubble, players can relax by the beach and get infected with covid or an STD, ride jetskis and get hepatitis from the ocean, or go to disneyworld and literally fucking die because overweight midwestern boomers have zero concept of hygiene or personal space and if they don't kill you with their smell, you'll certainly bake alive in the hot hot sun. Tampa Bay. "It fucking sucks"™

Haiku Sonnet

Hamilton Again
Wins another fucking cup
buffalo in tears

when will another
team appear to challenge the
top dawgs in the league

that time is coming
when there will be no more tears
only sea water

because from below
tampa bay will ascend to
glorious new heights

Season sixty challenge cup
champions eternally


214 words
Buffalo is pulling out all the stops with the new loaded buffalo nachos. The Buffalo nachos are not quite what you'd expect from a "buffalo" themed food, which usually entails lots of sauce or wings. For this, we've got real bison meat, poached from real bison in yellowstone national park. We start with a bed of fries, we add shreded bison meat slow cooked, a very light drizzle of buffalo sauce to add that kick and sour punch, then we add some white gravy, onions, and cheese curds. The meal is called the Buffalo Bison Poutine.
For Hamilton, although it seems in bad taste, they've got their own chicken wings to rival Buffalo. Traditionally, wings are not sold at stadiums for seemingly obvious reasons. But Hamilton don't give a fuck. Furthermore, their sauce is dyed with metallic food coloring to give it a steely shine. It comes in multiple flavors and shades of steel, with the mild wings being a bright silver and the Toilet-Fucker-9000, the spiciest flavor, being a rusty red hue, foreshadowing the color of your toilet bowl after it eviscerates your butthole. The hawks are keen to avoid the "buffalo" connotation regarding wings and have strictly forbidden the flavor in their offerings, instead offering garlic, bbq, pepper, and tobasco inspired flavors.

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