1. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min.)
Reflection on your season - how did your player fare on the ice this season? Did you meet or surpass your individual player goals or did you come up short? Whether you excelled or disappointed - what can you attribute that to? What will you try to do better next season?

This season, my player fared just okay on the ice. Nothing to really get excited about. I had 15 points playing on the third line for the New England Wolfpack, which I guess is fine considering the circumstances. I don't really have anything that even approaches a frame of reference for that. In terms of game ratings, I averaged a 59 overall, 52 on offense, and 65 on defense. I suppose the defensive number is solid enough, assuming those even mean anything. I'm way too lazy to look up how to interpret the advanced stats to determine if I was any good by those metrics. Plus that spares me any potential disappointment from finding out. I didn't have any goals, really, so I don't think there's anything to be disappointed about. I originally created hoping to fully max earn but that is... not happening. So I'm just trying to enjoy the ride for now. Luckily that means I'm fine with my player's performance, though I'd obviously not be against doing quite a bit better.

3. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min.)
FHM's 12-team playoff bracket setup has received a fair bit of scrutiny. It re-seeds after the play-in round and for some reason puts the #1 seed and #2 seed on the same side of the bracket. I challenge you to come up with a different playoff format - can you come up with a format that's dumber/worse than this? be creative! Come up with the worst possible format for a 12-team playoff.

Can I come up with a format that's dumber than that? Yes. Easily. Here's how it would work. The 12-seed gets a home game against the 11-seed in the first round. The 10th seed plays at home against the 9th seed. 8th at home against the 7th, and so on. From there, you have to maximize stupidity by forcing the top remaining seeds to play against one another, with the lower seed receiving home ice advantage in the match-up. So, say the 2nd seed defeats the 1st seed in round one, and the 4th defeats the 3rd, then you'd have the 4th seed get a home game against the 2nd seed in the following round. Eventually you progress to the finals, with the lower seed again receiving home ice advantage over the higher seed. How's that for dumb?

4. Written/Graphic, 3 TPE (150 words min.)
If the SHL needed to set up a playoff bubble (like the NHL did in Edmonton/Toronto or the NBA in Orlando), which city would be the best candidate to host as the hub city? What would the players do during their time in a playoff bubble?

The best candidate to host an SHL bubble might come as a surprise to some, but it will make perfect sense in about 120 words from now. That candidate is none other than Death Valley, California, one of the hottest places on the entire planet. You might be saying things like 'Death Valley? What the hell is that,' or, 'Isn't Death Valley, like, a desert?'. Valid questions. They don't matter though. So, for reference, Death Valley gets up well over 100 freedom degrees and sits there basically all summer long. So what location could use the nice refreshing environment of playoff hockey other than Death Valley? The headlines could sell themselves. "Fire and Ice". "An oasis in the desert". I don't know. Those aren't even good. Doesn't matter. Honestly the only impediment might be maintaining the ice in that sort of heat, but that's why pro leagues have all that money. Literally that exact situation. Nothing else. If it doesn't make sense by now I can't help you get it.

6. Written, 2 TPE (100 words min.)
Which SHL or SMJHL team was the best team to not make the finals this season and why?

This is the easiest question of this entire painstaking task. The best team to not make the finals this season is none other than the New England Wolfpack. Yep, the New England Wolfpack. How were they the best team to not make the finals this season when they barely even made the playoffs or whatever? Elementary. It's because they have the incredible, inimitable, rhyme-animal, the Erben Kasius. He is so good that it's nearly impossible to believe New England were as bad as they were this season. Most likely the only thing holding them back was getting Kasius up to the conditioning level he needs to play at this level, which forced him down to the team's 3rd line where he was surrounded by lesser players that held him back from propelling the Wolfpack to the top of the tables. Expect that to change next season.

7. Written, 3 TPE (150 words min.)
What's your prediction for this season's IIHF tournament? Which teams do you expect to do well (or not well)? Which players?

My prediction for this season's IIHF tournament is that none of the teams will win, and all of the fans will lose. I know literally nothing about IIHF, which tells me that it's probably a boring waste of time. No offense to whoever works hard to put that event on. I think my player is on Germany or something. Whatever. Point is, they're just exhibition games, and it's not even like the games are made more exciting by their rarity like the World Cup where Algeria vs. Honduras is suddenly worth watching because that shit happens once every four years. Nobody cares if that happens every year. Make it a little less frequent and suddenly it's exciting. Anyway, basically all of the players just go out and play for some loose sense of country pride and the fans get maybe a little bit excited but probably not really. So, in the end, it doesn't matter who wins. The players just exhaust themselves, and the fans watch some people who barely practice together play tired hockey like two weeks after the season ends.

16. CW TRIVIA, 3 TPE max - 1 TPE for participation, 0.5 TPE for each correct answer.
This is now completed through a Google form linked below. Make sure to spell your answers correctly or you will not get credit. Post your verification word in your CW post.

Done