MVP
Leading Scorer
Best Goalie
Best Defender

None of these hold a candle to the newest individual award: The "I wanted this the most" Award. It is given out to the player who has been deemed to desire this award more than any other person. There are many ways to prove yourself for this award: Begging. Crying about it. The always good call the commissioners while they're at home and threaten them and their families. There are any number of ways you can show that you need to be the next winner of this award, and none of them include anything to do with on-ice performance. Any player, good or bad is eligible for this, so there are several hundred nominees every season. Players who put a lot of focus on their performance and or athleticism are at a disadvantage, due to less time to spend trying to kiss ass or plan kidnappings.

I may not win this season, but heading into regression, this is all I can look forward to in my twilight years.