Because I said it is. And also the Vancouver Whalers.

Well, it might not necessarily be an addition to my player specifically. What would make the most sense would be to bring in the materials to build a brick wall, or any kind of wall, really, directly in front of the net - right on the goal line. No puck would be going through that thing, that's for sure. The starting goalie could even get some rest in on a back-to-back day, assuming that the SHL Purge happened on the starting end of a back to back. In terms of things my player would bring to aid himself, definitely a stick that's easier to handle the puck with - with some weird curve on the blade, or a curve on the handle of the stick itself. He could also attach some refillable nitrous tanks to his skates in order to get an easy boost of speed to get on a breakaway quickly, or just linger in the offensive zone waiting for a massive stretch pass to easily bury the puck.

There's a lot of thought to be put into the team logos. While some teams like Calgary would be pretty obvious winners, being dragons and all, the thing is, is that dragons don't exist. Another thing for certain teams' logos - the North Stars, for instance, they're a building. Can they really fight anything, since it's stuck in the ground? Would it be like that one episode of Spongebob where Squidward's security system takes over his house? The wild animal teams, like the Platoon (eagle), Buffalo (buffalo, obviously), Manhattan (bull), and the Blizzard (arctic fox), might run away - or stay and fight and probably die easily, being predictable animals. The team logo that I'd say has the most edge would be the Syndicate or the Rangers, since they both have guns and the skills to use them - a lion from the Pride logo can't reach you when you're shooting down at them from the top of a tower, you know? Then it comes down to the end to who has the better guns between the Syndicate and the Rangers - in which case, I'd say the Syndicate. It's clear that the logo is meant to be an old Wild West bandit, who would be using old revolvers and repeater carbines, while the Syndicate have access to modern pistols and sub-machine guns like the Tommy gun.

I am pretty sure we all know that the best team to not make the Challenge Cup finals this season was the Hamilton Steelhawks, who were once again expected by many to come into the playoffs, dominate the whole of the league, and win another cup against the Buffalo Stampede once again. It sure would have been funny to see the Stampede get heartbroken again on top of that, even as much as I'd hate to see the Steelhawks win their... however many-th ring. With Theo Morgan coming off a record-setting season (in the FHM era at least, to my knowledge), I'm sure he was definitely disappointed to not manage to carry the Steelhawks to another cup win.

I'd have to say, the Rangers' branding is definitely the better one. Even if they play into the more 'bandito' style of ranger than the 'lawman' style of ranger, considering it has an historical tie to Texas with the real-life Texas Rangers and all that. Buffalo's branding is just a pun on a stampede of Buffalo.

breezy

Probably Pasta the Turtle, as much as I hate to say it. I'm not a big fan of beef, believe it or not, so Julio Tokolosh is sadly off the table, literally and figuratively (though I'm sure he'd taste good as well, but holy fuck does that sound weird.) Pasta is... well, a turtle made of pasta, so it's not like he can run away from me for too long, since turtles are extremely slow for the most part. And since his shell is what's made out of the pasta, it can't be too hard to crack him open and feast.

3 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 1 + 3 + 2 = 17/16