Task 1:

Because we have a great and caring community that's more than just some fake hockey

Task 17:
https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3047917 - Claim 3

Task 15:
verification word: cw

Task 16:
I think I would definitely eat Hippo Passamus. I believe he has the highest BMI of any player in the league by a substantial amount, which is almost assuredly going to be nutrient rich and fatty meat rather than the tough, leathery flesh that might be present in many other top animals. Also I looked it up and hippo meat is most definitely a thing, so this makes sense on many levels. While it would suck to have to consume a dear friend for the sake of sustenance, it is also true that Hippo is reaching the end of his career and is quite the greybeard at this point, meaning it makes more sense to sacrifice him rather than a younger player with more promise.

Task 4:

People are always asking me,
"Why does the boat have eyes?"
The answer is quite simple, you see,
For brains of any size

The ancient Greeks put eyes on boats
To help them find their way,
We're a band of heroes all afloat,
So it makes sense, one might say

The constant questions are just so grating,
And I'm at my wit's end
I'm tired of all the logo hating
And having to defend

If you ask why the boat has an eye,
Then you'll be next to die

Task 7:
I think it's almost a given that Elon Musk would be a massive SHL fan, as he seems to involve himself anytime a bunch of people online get way too invested in something that doesn't matter to society in any way. He's too weird to be able to pick just one team though, and would likely just attempt to exert control over the league as a whole. Otherwise, I think you'd see local fandoms pop up. Atlanta would have a ton of famous artists like TI, Usher, Future, Soulja Boy, and Lil Jon while their expansion rivals in Seattle would be able to counter with.... oh god.... google please god give me something here..... Macklemore? Maybe Dave Grohl is still connected to Seattle post-Nirvana I dunno, oh god please