SHL: Camraderie, Charitable, Competitive


First off, I'm going to channel for one day my Lord and Savior of all things to do bad in hockey, named Tom Wilson. The first thing that I would do is take a headshot to Tom Wilson, because no one outside of Washington likes that asshole. Then when it comes to SHL, I would break my stick in half, pants anyone who looks vaguely like Tom Wilson, and shove that up everyone's ass that has ever said the word "Tom" or "Wilson" at any point in their lives. Then stomp on these peoples' necks, cut them in the jugular with the skate, and then I'm going to lick every person in the face and declare them to be a Leo Komorov popsicle. Why would I be this vicious? Because I asked my wife from the mean streets of Waterbury what she would do in a situation like this, and this was her answer. I'm noticing a pattern about Tom Wilson when I write this, but I'm not sure why. But I think going forward, if I'm broadcasting on my Twitch channel, and I'm wearing a red shirt, and say the code word "Pee Pee Poo Poo", I am asking you to send help immediately to my home.


Well, Stampede are pretty decent in a horde, but lose the leader and the pack spreads. A Blizzard is powerful, but finite. Steelhawks would do what, peck your eyes out? Rage? What will they do, lyric you to death with some Tom Morello rifts to boot? I've no idea what they are or would do. Stars are pretty to look at, but unless they explode are fairly harmless in this instance. An aurora would also be pretty to look at, but would assumedly not provide an awful lot of firepower to win in a fight. The Pride wouldn't want to fight, they'd rather have a parade and party like it's 1999. The only things Monarchs would fight for is to raise your taxes for their own gain, or they would most likely hire a Platoon to take everyone else out. The Barracuda wouldn't give much of a fight if you throw them on land on a sweltering day of sun and humidity. A Syndicate would be good in relatively whacking you at the knees, putting you in cement shoes, and making you an offer that you cannot refuse, but if they were to face Renegades, or a Wolfpack on the hunt, or some Panthers in the Wilderness, you might have a real challenge. But let's face it, nothing is stronger than Dragons. Don't agree? Didn't your mother ever teach you that you should not meddle in the affairs of Dragons? Remember you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup.



a. From a pure goalscoring standpoint, it's hands down the Stampede this season. As one of two teams that scored more than three hundred goals this season, with four players scoring thirty two or more goals, along with the same four players scoring more than one point a game all season. The Renegades also had four players score thirty or more goals, however only three players scored more than one point a game all season, and two players tied for seventy one points. Buffalo had one player score ninety points, another eighty points, and another in the high seventies.

c. Of the two brandings, I am a huge fan of the Texas Renegades branding scheme and concept. The black and white scheme and jersey colors, the intense logo and badass name of being a Renegade, speaks to those who have always wanted to be any form of outlaw or rebel. When you also factor in that we're discussing Dallas, Texas as the location of where the Renegades play hockey, it all adds us to the better brand of the two teams.

d. Outside of Buffalo Wings, name me one other cool thing about Buffalo in general? In Dallas, there is an eclectic assortment of Museums, Art Plazas, Parks, among many other forms of entertainment. The famous Dallas Zoo, the Dallas World Aquarium, the Frontiers of Flight Museum, and if you're into more modern art, what other city has a giant freaking eyeball!? While never trying to be political, you can also find the George W. Bush Presidential Library and Museum. There is also many great places to eat, and if you love a good steak or brisket, Dallas is the place to have it.



Code Word: Trivial




Just 1 Stinking TPE for Milestones this year: 

Give Aways (GvA): 22 or fewer -> 16 GvA