The Newfoundland Berserkers all received sponsorships from an unknown benefactor, where all of us were now the face of Pasta Turtle enterprises. Our first product was actually live baby Pasta Turtles. We were each given one to raise before we decided to give them away to all of our Berserker fans. While initially cute and harmless at the start, as they got older, they seemed to develop… aggressiveness issues. They keep wanting to fight everything in sight, throwing their body at everything in a fit of rage, making watermarked memes trolling whoever is near, and if they get in trouble, diving to try and play the victim. Eventually, due to the absolute chaos an army of Pasta Turtles would inflict on the population of Newfoundland, we knew we had to get them away from our fans. As they were made of pasta, we told Berserker fans to return their Pasta Turtles and brought in a pasta-loving orange cat to “remove” them.

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