- Oh this is a good one. Daniel Merica Jr, easily the handsomest son of a bitch in the SHL, with his gorgeous blue eyes, perfectly curated brown hair, ripped and tan physique and a booming smile that makes the ladies melt, woke up one morning the body of one Chimkin Wing, a winger from the Buffalo Stampede. As Merica went to take his normal 5 minute long morning piss, trying to control his morning wood, he looked up through foggy eyes to see the ugliest mug he'd ever seen staring back at him. While Wing is a fantastic young hockey player, he is very lacking in the looks department. With greying blonde hair, a nice bald spot coming in and a pudgy face, Wing is far from being the ladies man that Daniel is, not too mention is dad bod physique. Merica looked on at his new body in utter disgust, but decided to embrace the fat boy he had suddenly become, and went on an absolute binge of eating fatty foods, candy and fried chicken wings, all the bad shit he refused to put into his own body.

After completely bloating his already bloated body, Merica strolled into the Buffalo Stampede locker room as they prepared for their Game 7 match against the Chicago Syndicate. With Merica now on the roster, the Stampede would have the edge they need to win the final game. @Ragnar


I heard seven was talkin shit
Oh no, another bum actin tough
You're not pretty enough to be this stupid
I envy people who haven't met you
What's that? Oh your Your bitch just hit me on a text
Said you dream of having the career I've had
Oh no, what's that? Can't hear you over the HOF speeches
Shut the fuck up, you human equivalent of a participation trophy
Oh no this, oh no that
Maybe pay attention, take notes, know when there's an Ace in the hole
Shut the fuck up
Keep chasin what you cant have


- As I have always been, I do not agree with participation trophies. The naysayers always swing the "its a development league", well I'm not trying to develop players who just get handed trophies for showing up. A team that stinks the entire season, hell take a team who wins 10 games for example, should not have the opportunity to beat a team that won 50 games, it simply shouldn't exist, they shouldn't have to deal with that. Now with more teams, I think its even more important to move back to a traditional playoff format. I would even accept the best 12 teams, although I think 8 would be better. This will make it more important for teams to play well early in the season, and not simply rely on developing their guys so their ready to go when the playoffs hit, like what the fuck is the point of the regular season?


a. The salt special: Do these teams deserve to be here? Or were they gifted a trip to the finals through puck luck and bullshittery?
- I would say both teams deserve to be there. Chicago made every move imaginable to put themselves in this position, and they earned the right to play for the championship, I think more teams should strive to emulate the way they've built their team and gone after the ultimate prize. Buffalo has been a force for many years, and considering this their second trip in a row to the finals, I'd say it goes without saying that they deserve to be there, plus they have the greatest player of all time, Chimkin fuckin Wing.

b. Buffalo has been here many times in the past 20 seasons, this is only the second (I think I'm too lazy to check) time for Chicago. Which is more impressive? The continued dominance of Buffalo? Or the solid couple of runs Chicago has made despite the team only being 15 seasons old?
- Well I think both teams deserve a ton of credit for what they've accomplished over the span of their franchise so far, but it's hard to argue against Buffalo, considering they've actually succeeded at winning the Challenge Cup, more than once as well, and they remain a top threat year in and year out currently. For Chicago, they've done a great job building up their current team, they are loaded and oh so close to achieving that dream of winning the Challenge Cup and I expect they will succeed soon, as it's pretty clear that their general manager will stop at nothing to win.

c. Everyone's a critic: Nitpick one thing about either team's logo, jersey, rink design, goal horn, or general site demeanor.
- I would probably nitpick Chicago's branding, I think the whole mobster thing is very played out with Chicago teams in simulation leagues, and it's not very original. I think Chicago has much more to offer in the branding realm than recycling the same old shit from the 1920s. I'd also say their jerseys could use a little work, I would definitely add in a nice grey jersey with black on top and yellow accents.

d. Who is the best player to play for either team? Is it a current player? Retired? Traded? Make your case.
- Easily Chimkin Wing, famed forward for the Buffalo Stampede. Why, you ask? I mean he's the ultimate motivator, one look has his ugly ass appearance and dad bod and the other players starting pumping iron like their lives depend on it. Plus, I mean, he's the chicken wing guy, he always shows up with buckets of homemade chicken wings, his own family recipe, which are utterly unreal, just insatiably good.



Hits: 66

16/16