All these options require careful consideration. The red pill would do wonders for Kevens' on-ice performance, but realistically would only last about a day. The lack of sleep caused by having 96 bowel movements every day would soon prove to be detrimental to anyone's quality of life. The speed would mean nothing if sleep deprivation caught up to you. The blue pill might be beneficial since there are many examples of blind people living fulfilling and satisfying lives, but ultimately the cost seems too high. This pill is also rejected. As for the green pill, it has no effect since zero multiplied by ten is still zero. Kevens is lucky enough to have no allergies, so the orange pill is also out of the question. Similar to the green pill, the pink pill also has no effect because Kev is already more famous than the most famous Korean pop star. The brown pill is also a no-go, despite being a tempting option. The black pill is also tempting, but that would cause a paradox where if Kevens was the PT director, he would immediately lose all fame and therefore make the pink pill the best option, which means the black pill would never be chosen in the first place. This leaves only the option of the purple pill. After thinking long and hard, Kev chows down on a delicious grape jelly bean. This jelly bean is the best he's ever had, which causes him to go into a state of pure bliss. Now armed with a refreshed mental state and the taste of grape ambrosia in his mouth, Kev Kevens goes on to become the league points leader twenty seasons in a row because of this one simple purple pill.