This one is easy.  As a goalie with allergies, I easily take the orange pill.  Maybe it will help keep all of the water out of my eyes so I can see the puck better.  

For that reason and the fact that all the other pills are useless, make this pretty cut and dry for me.  I do not need speed at all, as I am already a goalie with good reflexes.  Speed won't help me there.  And, although I am already in the position to release my bowels, I would still prefer not to do that in a game.  I do not need strength as I can already stop the puck.  Plus, I need to see to react to a shot.  I do not need to be smart, just quick with my reflexes.  And, having the body of a child means that I would not block as much of the net.

I would never take the pink pill because I am a J rock fan.  I do not need that garbage.  Obviously, no to the brown pill, for the same reason mentioned earlier.  I am not a fan of jelly beans, so no purple pill for me.  And finally, I would not want to be the PT director because I am not as creative as the current one.