The red pill would not only make me faster on the ice, but by the end of the game I would certainly be a good bit lighter than at the start, so would be getting faster as the game went on! Due to being a rookie in the SHL, I’m not doing that much in the way of time on ice, so I reckon I could time the evacuation sessions around my playing time, I’m sure the likes of Darrow and Pojo could hold the fort while I’m birthing some otters in the locker room! I’ve been pretty dross in the first few games, so I think the extra speed would be a welcome addition to my playing style, despite the extra explosive movements.
My only question is, do the constant motions continue when I’m not on the ice? If so, I’d have to work out a solution for sleeping. Maybe a bed with a just-below-waist-level trough? Or a nice padded toilet seat with a nice bit of memory foam against the tank to lean on? These are the real hard hitting questions!