S61 PT#2: Based and Brownpilled
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First off, Ryan Gardner has some questions that will need to be answered about these "pills" from the league office. For instance, does the league do any type of testing for these performance enhancing substances? If, hypothetically, one took the red pill and went streaking down the ice, and left a brown trail in their wake, there will inevitably be questions. What am I supposed to say in the press conference afterwards? "Yeah, I ate some bad Taco Bell before the game, and I just miraculously increased my speed ten-fold overnight from dropping the weight," sounds fishy, wouldn't you say?
Honestly, I am going to stick with the purple pill because it's a grape jelly bean. Playing it safe with this one. Plus grape jelly beans rule. Also, there is no chance the league suspends me for grape jelly beans. If they do, I sue. When I win, I am renaming the league the ROT (Rink Of Terrordome), and games will be decided by the most knockouts inflicted. Also, I don't trust this "salesmen". I heard blue pills do NOT do what he's claiming. Code: Word Count: 184 ![]() |
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