the only correct choice is the brown pill. even if you poop every shift, even if you have to go back to the locker room twice a period, the real advantage is in weight. the red pill gives you super speed, but you will have to significantly adapt your game to take advantage of it. it will take years to fully adapt a safe game out of the incredible change in acceleration and momentum you gain. the brown pill gives you a slight advantage--one less pound of body weight to carry around while you're in motion. with less bloat, less center of mass weight, and an otherwise identical play style, the brown pill gives you a very small but meaningful advantage that is nearly unnoticeable by anyone else on the ice. as long as they are not paying attention to your bathroom schedule. i would take the brown pill and ride my advantage to an extra 1% in on-ice efficiency.