S61 SMJHL Championship Week
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BLBertrand
Registered Member
Task #1 - 3 TPE [159 words]
If I had to play for another SMJHL team I would definitely choose the Newfoundland Berserkers. They have obviously proven that they have the chops to be perennial cup contenders, and the chance to play with some of their players would be an incredible privilege. Robert Black broke the assist record this season with 56 and added 25 goals for 81 points - just two shy of the scoring lead, trailing my team mate Greyson Cooper. Maxwell King and Evil Allbran round out their top line with some serious talent, and a cast of promising rookies make this team something special. They may not have taken it home to The Rock this year but perhaps they’re one Brady Bertrand away from moving the needle. I also lived in Newfoundland for three years and miss it dearly- though my liver is in a much better condition my heart fondly recalls foggy streets and hazy eyes, and a 3am last call. Task #5 - 3 TPE [156 words] Hockey players often get a bad wrap for being brain dead dummies, so what better way to prove the world wrong than to donate your time, money and passion *to* brain dead dummies. Brady Bertrand holds the Organization for People Who Lack Common Sense (OfPWLCS for short) near and dear to his heart, and will stop at nothing to not only raise awareness of the lack of common sense, but to implement common sense school programs for children, teens and continued education adults. “As an athlete with a large audience, I just felt Like I had to do *something* about this issue plaguing our society - I will donate $500,000 a year to the OfPWLCS for the rest of my career, and will invite one child who needs common sense the most to spend the day with the Citadelles and view our game from my own private box for every home game at the Videotron Center.” Task #6 - 3 TPE [274 words] LW | Lev Lebedev, Vancouver Whalers - What’s more to say about Lev? Other than his name sounds the same with a mouth full of marbles. This guy is the whole package - the mans got **16 points in 14 games** this playoffs. He’s got stud written all over him. Try saying that with marbles in your mouth, idiot. C | Makrus “The Tater” Jager, Vancouver Whalers - While he only potted 9 points this post season there is no way in hell I would ever leave someone who goes by “The Tater” off my list. RW | Robert Black, Newfoundland Berserkers - Black is a natural center, but we’re going to put him on the wing for this all star team. Black is the sauce to our Taters. This man smashed the SMJHL assist record. Thems some saucy taters. RD | NeverBrokeAgain YoungBoy, Vancouver Whalers - I have no idea what this name is about, but the kid has got some chops. 11 points in 14 games this post season as a defenceman? Yup. I’ll take it. He even managed to stay +9 while clapping all them bombs. LD | Sven Svechnikov, Vancouver Whalers - There’s only one thing I love more than alliteration - and that’s stud D-men who go for nine points and a +4 in the post season. G | Evgeni Petrov, Newfoundland Berserkers - Can’t let Vancouver have all the fun, now, can we? Petrov literally didn’t have a backup. This dude is a one man army, and what he might lack in a goaltending tandem he more than makes up for in gusto and pizazz. Que jazz hands. Task #3 - 2 TPE [112 words] Every year there comes a time when the management team of the Quebec City Citadelles reflects upon our loyal fans and asks ourselves how we can give back to them, for as cheap as heavenly possible. Evok had the cursor over the “ORDER NOW” button on the ACME foam finger website until Flex pepped up from the back “Hey, don’t we have a dumpster full of team hats from all them hatty’s that Cap’n Coop scored?” Fuckin’ eh, Flex. Let that weird kid Skylar from the concession booth, who smells like weed and patchouli toss you a used hat as you walk in - just to show you how much we care. Task #7 - 3 TPE [173 words] I think the better question to ask would be: How would round one have gone if the divisions weren’t so lopsided? The three teams that finished dead last in regular season (Detroit, Regina and Anaheim) somehow made it into the playoffs while the eighth seed Maine and eleventh seed Nevada didn’t get a chance to go head to head. Every series in the first round was won by the higher seeded team with St. Louis and Great Falls being the only one that could’ve gone either way. Maine could have been a serious wild card and had a chance to give every single winning first-round team a run for their money. And, if they did move on to the second round, would also have stood a good chance against multiple second round teams like Anchorage, Kelowna and Great Falls. Alas, we will never know, but should probably re-align the divisions so that Nevada isn’t in the same group as Newfoundland who, geographically, couldn’t get much further apart while remaining on the same continent. Task #9 - 2 TPE [121 words] Round three- Newfoundland Berserkers vs. Quebec City Citadelles. This is most definitely a biased opinion considering it was my team and we were trailing from behind for the majority of the series. The locker room was still really positive and hopeful and as per tradition my player decided to wake up and perform well in most of the games that we lost. The last game that we lost, that would have evened the series at three a piece had we won, came down to one goal that was scored within the last couple minutes. It was a real heart breaker. But in the words of Aksel Fiske “Maybe the real four star cup is the friends we made along the way” BooYah - 16 TPE pls. Sig by @Ragnarr
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