Prompt 1:

Sven was chosen to do a "prank" interview with his fellow teammate, Pasta the Turtle. He figured that he would be able to get Pasta all worked up about animal rights or speciesism in the SHL, since he'd heard and read Pasta's views on these damn near everywhere lately. Pasta had always been pretty vocal about Sven's time in the Junior leagues as a Whaler, so Sven knew that was the easiest way to get it started. He approached Pasta (disguised, of course) and lead with some pretty routine questions on the start of his season, the outlook of the team, etc., etc. Then he finally got into the thick of it: he asked Pasta if teams with animal mascots such as the Whalers or Wolfpack should be allowed in the league. Pasta instantly got more spirited and started the "you don't have a team called the Humans" rant, and just kept on going and going and going. Sven eventually set down the microphone and walked away, but he heard later that press conference ran for three hours.