THIS IS IN RESPONSE TO PROMPT TWO, ALSO KNOWN AS THE SECOND PROMPT.

SHL TOP NEWS,
A story by Duncan Alejandro-Navarro Knightingale:

This week we sat down with notorious R-O-B and right wing for the Balitmore Platoon, Rob Wright. Rob described his playstyle "like a grindr or whatever the kids call it". When asked to elaborate, Rob instead flexed his muscles and did a backflip. The full interview - including the elaborate interpretive dance - is included below.

DANK: Hi there Rob. It's great to have a chance to ask you some questions. You're an elusive man. Now since we don't have a lot of time today, I want to start by asking--

RW: Illusive.

DANK: I don't follow.

RW: I'm an illusive man. Seriously. Try and touch me.

DANK: I don't... okay. Oh. Wow. Yeah. To the reader, I am currently reaching out my arm and it appears my hand is inside Rob's chest - which now appears to be a greeny-ghostly window to a black void. Are you a spirit or something?

RW: Is that your question?

DANK: ...Do I only get a certain amount?

RW: That's two.

DANK: Wait wait wait! No, uhhh, uhh... No, my actual question is-- Wait, why are you doing a dance to the Jeopardy Theme?

RW: GOODBYE!

And then Rob Wright turned into a cloud of dust or smoke or ash and was sucked into the room's HVAC system.