I walked toward the microphone, waiting for my good friend Rand to take the stand. I was sent in by the team's marketing department to get a funny video of me pranking him by asking fake questions as a fake reporter, but I had thrown out their own BS questions for ones that would make me laugh.

"Rand - do you really think Valters Denisova is the hottest guy in the locker room?"
"We have a clip of you saying here that you were unsure if you should even be on the team, yet by your own admission you want to be on the team. Why?"
"Do you like cheese fries? How does your opinion on cheese fries differ from your opinion on human rights?"
"Why is it that you allegedly want to be traded to the St. Louis Scarecrow?"

You know. The basics.

Instead, I walked into an empty room, and the press conference seemed to be over.