2. Written - 3 TPE - Back In My Day (150 words min.)
Agent Tesla: So I do not even think your parents were alive sixty-two years ago Dave, and you certainly had no idea of what this dimension was like that long ago. That said tell me what you think the SHL was like six decades ago.

Dave Heinrich: First off everything was in black and white as color would not be invented for another twenty years. There were helmets despite what you might expect, but not everyone had one as they were made from the rib cages of referees who had offended the player too much. That is how you could tell whether a team had a good goon as if they were all wearing helmets you knew you were in for a hell of a time. Additionally all the teams were located in the far north as we had not discovered the technology necessary to have ice outside of that area. That good enough?

Agent Tesla: That is honestly even better than I had expected Dave. Honestly thinking about it I doubt a queer existence such as myself would have been accepted back six decades ago so I was kind of dreading this point task, but the adorable idea that color had yet to be invented cheered me right up! So there you have it the helmets were made of the corpses of their enemies and color did not exist yet! Thank you for your time.


4. Written - 3 TPE - Extinction Event (150 words min.)
Agent Tesla: Meta before I actually dive into this I was going to make a joke about the SHL sixty years ago being played by velociraptors, but I am glad I did not as this will make things far more interesting! So snap back to this reality and Dave tell me about the rumors of the Dino Hockey League that predates the SHL by too many years to count.

Dave Heinrich: Well per the previous story you might think it was in black and white as color had yet to be invented, but in fact it was just in darkness as light had yet to be invented. According to the beliefs of redacted for moral reasons when redacted said let there be light that was the extinction event that wiped out the dinosaurs. Now back to the goings on of the Dino Hockey League there were an amazing number of teams because Pangaea allowed everybody to play together and there really was not a lot else going on at the time. Unless you wanted to watch a kid beat his father upside the head with a frying pan on the regular you would join your local hockey team and try to be the very best.

Now you might ask if they had so many teams which one was the best and that would be the Wildcats. The worst team was also the Wildcats because dinosaurs were not creative enough to come up with a name other than Wildcats for all of their teams. This made the standings incredibly confusing, but the teams usually just went along with whichever team weighed in the heaviest anyway.

The best player by far back in the day was this young kid named Rain Grassy who seemed to have eyes in the back of their head and could skate better than anyone. I think that is enough mildly funny commentary to qualify us for this, right?

Agent Tesla: I think so. Thank you for reading any of this if you did and we hope you enjoyed it!


6. Written - 4 TPE - Grab Bag: 4 Challenge Cup related topics to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50+ words.
a. I have to be completely honest that hockey is not my sport and I know nothing about the average ice time of professional players. What I do know is that it is a physically demanding sport though and in gridiron football which is my sport of choice the key to success on defense is rotation of the defensive line. If you have the players for it you want to keep everyone playing fewer than 60% of the snaps. Even looking at the roster I cannot makes heads or tails of how quality the depth is here, but I will say my strategies tend towards rotation. Unless the gap is immense I want to make sure that my top players are playing at their top level to the best of my ability so that they can be the deciding factor. Although the fact I am arrogant enough to trust myself to coach up my depth may have a hand in that.

b. There are two ways to get past someone in a sport like hockey and going around them is very much an option if you have the finesse players to make it happen. I have three forwards so all I need to do is maneuver one to where they are not and hope they make the play. That is the path of least resistance, but in the immortal words of Marshawn Lynch 'run through a censored face then you don't have to worry bout em no more' so my other answer is to go through them. Beat them black and blue to make them less interested in getting in your way again. The fastest way to go from point a to point b is in a straight line and if someone wants to get in the way of that then you make them regret it.

c. If the opponent wants to play their hand with an aggressive offense than my go to counter is to take the puck away from them. Prioritize puck control and make use of the fact that they are leaving open lanes for my own offense to counter. Now I will state again hockey is not my sport, but per my studies from my sport my strategy prioritizes simple action over complex reaction. The more naturally it comes to my players the more they can shine and so I honestly do not change things up that much.

Thinking about it a bit more though I also feel the need to share a quote I find meaningful here: 'If we all reacted the same way, we'd be predictable, and there's always more than one way to view a situation. What's true for the group is also true for the individual. It's simple: Overspecialize, and you breed in weakness. It's slow death.' - Major Motoko Kusanagi

Essentially I maintain the balanced flexibility I always have and make use of the openings they give me to go for the throat. Just as I do in so many other facets of my life.


d. Hm. If it were actually me then I might make sure their dreams are visited by a nightmarish creature who owes me a favor that would leave them unable to sleep leading up to the game even though it might lead to hospitalization. That would be blatantly be cheating though and as I refuse to let my nigh-omnipotent powers be restrained enough for competition I am not an eligible player in this league. So for someone bound by the laws of reality they have subscribed to and the rules and regulations of the SHL it is much more difficult.

That said I would attack from one primary angle which is sending them their adoring fans with questions about how they are able to do what they do. A big weakness of humanity is that they tend to overthink things and if yo get them in their own head they will trip themself up for you. So get them thinking about how they are able to block all those shots and suddenly their reflexes are dulled. These are professionals so it is probably only a hair of difference, but when it comes to winning it all a hair's breadth can make all the difference. Thanks for joining me on this adventure!


12. S63 SMJHL Milestones - 3 TPE

X. Affiliate PBE PT - 3 TPE