Answering for the second prompt

Vaseline Podcalzone is a professional hockey player, earning millions of dollars to play what is essentially a game with sticks. If anything, he should consider himself blessed to still be earning a few million dollars this year, even after taking a big discount in his most recent three year extension with the Seattle Argonauts.

Podcalzone is basically set for a good, long time. The owners of the franchise are completely understanding of his situation and have helped him with housing in his first few seasons with the team. Now, obviously, with the money he's saved up, he's been able to get his own property in downtown Seattle, probably a condo or something that's close to the rink. He has a roof over his head with plenty left in saving.

He isn't going to have to change up his diet or anything. He won't feel the result of this paycut, thankfully. Really, Podcalzone is incredibly blessed to be able to say that.