The budget cuts have taken a pretty big chunk of morale out of the Timber locker room, but luckily we are already a skimpy team when it comes to spending large amounts of dough. Firstly, the team enforces a very strict 'wood-only sticks' policy, so making the switch from carbon fiber back to wood is already out of the question. Secondly, skating on frozen milk isn't all that terrible because the shavings could be taken to made a "game-used ice cream" concession; an immediate hit with the crowd. Maine has gone through great lengths to make the stadium seating all wooden benches, so the only reasonable expectation would be to raise ticket prices to help cover the rising NFT prices. The players are also doing their part; we've collectively agreed to sell our high-end sports cars and, together, we will build Flintstone-model wooden cars, powered only by our feet. Hard times have fallen in Maine, that's for certain.