S65 PT #2: Matinée
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charlieconway
Registered Posting Freak Quote:CREATIVE PROMPT - Wu-oh! SHL ticket sales are down and the top brass has decided to make a bold marketing play in an attempt to corner the coveted 60+ demographic. The first major change? Effectively immediately, all SHL games will be shifting from 7PM starts to noon starts. Hope you like waking up early. I take a three-pronged approach. 1) From now on, all SHL uniforms must be knitted of fans of the franchise. No knitting enthusiasts among the crowd that attends your games? Tough luck, here are some rags that are vaguely colored in the same way as your logo. Have fun. I do this to ensure that old women who enjoy craft-work are incentivized to pitch in and exemplify some team spirit. 2) All intermissions must involve an old man telling a story of how it used to be in the city in which the game is played. Oh, what’s that, Eugene? The rail system had character back when you were young? You don’t recall there being so many ethnic restaurants? Did Grant E. Jamisbottom not pay you for that time you painted his fence in 1957? Fascinating. Tell the 20,000 people here in attendance more. 3) No more fries being sold at the cafeteria. They’re too tough to eat and are making some of the less toothed fans feel left out. From now on, you can only buy mashed potatoes and soft meat. Pies may be served on special occasions, but they must be soft crusted, the kind that crumbles from your old stainless steel fork. |
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