banjo +3 TPE


Link +1 TPE


I would definitely add Shithousery as an attribute.

If you're not familiar with this rather UK-specific football (the one where you use your feet) term, to be a shithouse is to commit minor acts of annoyance, whether through gamesmanship or minor unnecessary physicality - then plead innocence and avoid any kind of confrontation. I imagine the role of agitator in the sim is meant to do the same things as this, but this would determine how good players are at performing that role, and how much they naturally do that sort of thing even when it isn't their assigned job on the team.

This would result in only one thing in the sim - more fights. And I thing that would be wonderful - hockey fights are like crashes in motorsport, everyone pretends they're terrible, but they're what half the crowd came to see. Importantly though, the player with the high Shithousery would never actually be in a fight themselves, just wind the opposition up until they instigated something.

+3 TPE


Viktor Krunk refuses to eat the decadent Western diet, so he makes a lot of his favourite Russian food, Blini.

Blini are thin Russian pancakes - think French crepes, or those things that you get with duck at Chinese restaurants. The reason he makes them so often (and part of the reason that they are so popular in Russia) is their versatility. They can be made savoury, with toppings like caviar, smoked salmon or mushrooms, or sweet, with toppings like condensed milk or jam.

Without the ability to make Blini at home, Viktor Krunk would never have been able to properly adjust to Western culture. His American teammates keep trying to get him to put bacon and cheese on them. He refuses.

+2 TPE


The antipodean cities I would have to choose are Hamilton, New Zealand and Cordoba, Spain. Here are my teams:

Hamilton Hunters

Firstly, who wouldn't love another Hamilton team in the SHL? Absolutely nobody, obviously. New Zealand has a wide array of game to hunt, and heading to the wilderness to shoot some prey is a popular pastime over there. The hunter as a mascot should be nice and easy to make some decent branding around.

Cordoba Coyotes

Now, I am fully aware that coyotes do not come from Spain, but in northern Andalusia (where Cordoba is) there are a number of habitats for the Iberian wolf. An Iberian wolf would be used as the mascot, and nobody would notice, as coyote/wolf differences are minimal anyway. Also, with the rest of the SHL being based in North America, coyote makes the concept more accessible. Freedom folk haven't heard of an Iberian wolf.

What's the rivalry here? Hunter vs wild dog, of course. It's a tale as old as time. I'm rooting for the dog.

+3 TPE


Here's DALL-E's glorious rendering of Atlanta Inferno defenseman Puddles O'Duck (@Z-Whiz) smoking a victory cigar.



+1 TPE

PBE Affiliate

+3 TPE