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scruf


My exceptional streak is an ironman streak.  So my weird superstitions are things to keep me healthy and in skating shape.  First thing I do is eat a raw egg every morning.  I hate this one if I'm being honest, but I did it back in S45 on a dare and haven't missed a game since.  Doctors hate me for this one simple trick.  (Because it's a bad trick and they hate when people try to copy it and get sick)

The second thing I do is show up to the rink. Sounds weird, but for every game that I have shown up to the rink, I have not missed that game.  My friend once did not show up to the rink, and the coach scratched him!  It could have been that he didn't show up because he was scratched, but it is hard to tell correlation from causation sometimes.

Anyway, trick number three is to play in a league without injuries turned on.  I've seen hundreds of players in this league but I've never seen a single injury.  Weird indeed.


1 TPE

https://simulationhockey.com/showthread....pid3284007



The reason we are changing from Gold, Silver, and Bronze are because it's not sustainable.  It's both not sustainable from a supply side perspective, there's not enough to go around!, and from an environmental perspective, the extraction process is a real doozy on the old environment.  Therefore, today we are announcing the new Earth Friendly Green Medals.

For third place, we are rolling out the "Air Medal", it's just a glass bottle with air in it.  I don't know if the glass is anymore sustainable than the bronze, but the air is free!

For second place, we are rolling out the "Dirt Medal", again a glass bottle, but this time with dirt in it.  Ok, I'm thinking that glass might be more sustainable than silver because glass is made from sand.  What's more abundant than air? Maybe dirt!

For first place, it's time for the "Water Medal", you probably guessed that it's a glass bottle filled with water.  There is lots of water in the ocean and water gives life.  I think people will appreciate the bottles of earth friendly materials.

Also, we will reuse the glass bottles year over year, so please deposit your earth material into your own receptacle and return your cleaned bottle to the nearest IIHF training facility.  You may need to drive or fly some distance, but please consider that the bottles must be reused to save the planet.



The Leek competition is actually a cooking competition where the Leek has to be incorporated into a dish.  We tried a raw Leek competition for a few years, but no one really bought into it.  In fact, while we have the Leek displays set up, people tried to buy them like it was a weirdly niche farmer's market.

So what I'm looking for in my Leek judgement is how well they can hide the flavor while still obviously being a Leek-centric dish.  I have eaten so many gosh darn Leeks in one sitting,  I can hardly take it any more.  I want a cheese burger, so give me a cheese burger with a slightly Leek forward slaw on the side.  Honestly, bring a Big Mac and place the leek next to it and you will win.

Anyway, I've been fired from the leek competition because I have been unfaithful to our beloved leek.  Please fund my patreon for more anti-leek content because those are the only followers I have at this stage in life.


I'd like to offer the exact opposite.  In my career, I did a solid speedrun of success.  I won 3 Four Star cups in my time in the junior league which was a great time.  5 seasons later, I won back to back IIHF gold medals as the Federation Head of Team USA which was also a great time. 

However, my real impressive talent is playing for over 20 seasons without winning the Challenge Cup or any individual awards.  Instead of speed running, I think we should slow run SHL careers.  Trying to win a Challenge Cup in the early seasons of your career is a matter of luck.  You are somewhat at the mercy of where you are drafted unless you get into somewhat hairy practices.  Losing for 20+ seasons takes a decent degree of stubborness.

Granted, I would jump at the chance to play for a winning team, but until that point, I am totally doing this all on purpose for the chance to be the slow run king of the SHL.  If you could just recognize this as actually a success story, that would be great, thanks.


I'll use this little corner to share some appreciation for the GMs that keep putting my dusty old bones out there on the ice long after they were worthy of even second pair minutes.  I'll also add the teams themselves because I like popping into the locker rooms with mostly eager new people and some familiar faces from my too-long career.  As long as y'all keep putting me in skates, I will keep grinding out the junkiest junk minutes you have for me.

Most recently, that has been Joe and the Specters.  I'm glad I could come score some bizarre playoff goals with y'all. It wouldn't have been the same with any other team.