Prompt #1

So, your coach wants someone to fight. Regardless of the funny situation of you being the coach, the logic would dictate that you would send out someone from the third line, or the third pair. Someone, who has some grit, some size, and even without any experience, might at least stand a chance and create some sense of threat to the other team.

That person certainly isn't my dangly 5'7 ass that got swapped from forward to playing defense, that's for sure. I mean, Archie might have the mean streak in him, it's the Italian fighting spirit keeping him going day in and day out, but in the end, these aren't your typical guys from the street that scratched your car because they can't drive, the idiots. These are some of the peak athletes found in the world, many considerably bigger than him, and many considerably stronger than him. At this point, I think my coaching strategy is to find a different sacrificial lamb instead, since sending in Archie just for him to get laughed out of the fight isn't exactly the intimidation tactic you should want to use.