dibs on winning




Look no one is expecting a sudden surge in Teddy Murphy's growth.  The man is doing his best to cling on to relevance and just stay alive in a league that has already tried to retire him.  He's won all there is to win in his career and yet will most likely fall short of the hall of fame.  Teddy has never been THE guy on a winning team despite being a valued contributor on several championship teams across the WJC, IIHF, and SHL (Teddy's SMJHL Championship came after his departure from Kelowna and in a support role as the co-general manger). On his current contract with Edmonton Teddy will take what he can get and contribute as a 5th defenseman for a team with playoff, but not necessarily championship aspirations.  Look, as long as he's invited to the party at the end of the season Teddy, the grumpy old man that he is, will consider this season a success.



Look, the Captain's... one of his wives said it best in the hit television program How I Met Your Mother.  "Boats, boats, boats!" And that's how this thing is going to go.  Will Ferrel in his movie The Other Guys does a great job laying out the case for why a marine being is able to stalk, eliminate, and ultimately destroy any foe that is bound to the land.  While mobility is certainly a difficult hurdle to overcome it is by no means impossible.  Hell, according to my middle school science teacher we were all fish at some point or something like that. Not to sure on the specifics, but I can say with 0% confidence that we were all at one point marine creatures.  Keeping that rock solid fact in mind tells me that the boats can adapt and evolve to defeat the bulls while the bulls have trapped themselves on an evolutionary path and limit their adaptability for the upcoming battle.



To quote the great Cady Heron, "the limit does not exist." I can't begin to come up with something that a much more creative member of the site hasn't already proposed in their own submission to this very same question.  As the funny number is upon us general managers around the league have been trading for many seasons with the expected size of the draft class.  I myself anticipated potentially playing a part in the festivities, but have decided to keep dragging my corpse along in the SHL getting what little money there is available for the corpse formerly known as Teddy Murphy.  At this point I'd better start proposing funny sex things if I want credit so to that end I say: Sex Hockey League, Simulation Hipthruster's League, Sexon 69 Dank Class.  Look I know all of those suck and I'm doing my best.  It's been a long day and my creative juices are more drained than this draft class' libido.




S68 Milestones 2 TPE







Terrifyingly

Enthusiastic

Dude

Does

Yeets