3 + 3 + 3 + 3 + 2 + 2 = 16 TPE


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Vaseline Podcalzone's linemates this season were primarily Max Manning at centre, with William Salming covering the other wing. This group certainly would have their fair share of chemistry in it, with Salming and Podz having basically played every single game of their respective careers together (outside of the realm of International Simulation Hockey), and their playstyles on the flanks are certainly helped with Manning's electric offensive play. Salming is an outstanding play distributor, threading the puck to his linemates. Manning does it all: goals, assists, just about everything well. Everyone on the line tends to give it their all on the defensive game as well. Salming has an incredible two-way game and does not shy away from blocking shots. Podz is also very much eager to lay down the body with a little bit of physicality on some checks. This is probably the dream line for Podz, and it's pretty clear given the on-ice results just how damn well these guys can do together.

WC: 164


So, in one corner of the ring (let us assume that this fight will take place in a boxing ring, for some reason), we have a polar bear that has been blessed with the power of the sun, and can emit solar power never imagined before. On the other end, we have what I want to imagine being like the Pokemon Grimer, that is made out of magma instead of... I wanna say raw sewage is what Muk and Grimer are made out of in the game Pokemon. Anyhow, you get the idea.

There are several things to consider here. Solar power is immense. On a level never before seen before, since this sun god bear has already breached the o-zone layer. However, magma is basically pure heat in itself. Dousing it with solar power will only make it stronger. In terms of the hammer though, I suppose that with immense levels of radiation, that hammer could be disintegrated. I am not too sure about the science relating to magma and if it would disintegrate. If anything, I could see it getting stronger from the heat. The only downside is that the sun god bear has range in its attacks, while... if the magma monster could throw its hammer, and if the hammer is powered up, then that could cause some whopping damage.

To be honest, I think this might be a draw.

WC: 233


Well, let's begin with what we know of from past knowledge and literature. A turtle can play ice hockey. Pasta the Turtle is an absolute legend, and will captain this team to the promised lands. We can recruit a blueline of turtles and they will all dominate. I mean, Master Oogway is enough proof of the absolute awesomeness of turtles. There need not be more to say.

In terms of other sea critters, it'll be interesting to consider the circumstances. A massive blue whale would make for an intriguing case, but it might not fit into the dimensions of a conventional ice rink. An orca whale, on the other hand, just might be something that we can work with.

Otters could be really adorable, but at the same time, we've definitely seen otters in the SHL before. They could easily slot into the lineup in some fashion. Getting a goaltender would be tricky, however. I'd reckon that our best bet would be to put a whale in net, or maybe an octopus. Those guys are very much deceptive, and have personalities reminiscent of goalies.

WC: 184


The playoffs certainly were not what I expected. My overall expectation was that whichever team made it out of the West would ultimately be crowned as champions. Although I absolutely wanted the Argos to get a 3-peat, I guess when thinking about the league as a whole, it might be seen as a little bit refreshing to get two new teams into the championship finals.

Overall, I'd say that this season was pretty chill. The Argos still had a really damn good regular season, as well as a deep playoff run. I really can't complain, especially with Podz still holding his own despite having to go through another regression over the off-season.

WC: 112


Not too many big things that happened recently. One small thing that was a small win happened about a few days ago, I stayed up late at night just catching up and chatting on a voice call with some close friends from high school. It definitely was a very positive experience. All things considered, I'm really glad that even after being done with high school, we still keep in touch and call on basically a weekly basis, and exchange messages on nearly a daily basis. It really feels good to know that those connections still go on well past graduation, and that it's not just curtains after walking the stage this past school year.

WC: 114