- Player Name:
Unspeakable Horror

- Position:
Left Defense

- Recreate or First-Gen?
First-Gen

- First-Gens: How did you find the site?
Easy enough to navigate, though I'm greatly assisted in being familiar with similar sim league forums.

- Full Discord Username (including the hashtag and numbers):
aeonsjenni

- How many hours a week do you usually have free? (ie. 1, 3, 6+, etc.)
I have no clue how to answer this. I think I consistently have about 3 free hours a day, at least 5 days a week.

- Is water wet?
I have no clue! I suppose it would have to be.

- What made you join the SHL?
I had heard about it from other sim-leagues and wanted to join a league to be spend more time with people I liked who are primarily SHL users. I also wanted to join a league as a truly casual user but once again I have been thwarted.

- What are your general expectations of your juniors career? Are you looking for a long and successful career as a junior player, or are you hoping to be called up to the big leagues as soon as possible?
I have no clue what to expect. I mostly want to be as good a defensive player as I can manage but will definitely need help with my build for that. In terms of call ups my policy in other leagues is to not rush a call-up, but also to not delay one either. Especially as a Casual User (TM) I am more invested in my player's personal achievement than normal, but obviously am happy to work with my GMs to help the team succeed as well.

- If you had to give a 30 minute a lecture off of memory what topic would you choose?
Oh, that's easy. I would give a lecture on my high school obsession, which was the polynomial expansion. The binomial expansion is well known and extremely valuable, but the more general case of the polynomial expansion (i.e. the expansion of something like (a + b + c + d)^5) can do a lot to connect the problem to interesting questions in geometry, probability, and number theory, which generally fascinates me. I haven't really visited the subject directly in a long time but I believe I still have my notebook which I filled with manual polynomial expansions of horrible things like (a + b + c + d + e + f)^7, which has 924 terms.

- Have you ever heard about Kelowna before joining this league?
Sorry, but I have not.

- How do you feel about walruses?
Positively, I guess. They're pretty funny looking little guys but they're also pretty scary.

- In honor of your team’s Pride Night, you’re being asked to wear a pride-themed warmup jersey to be auctioned off for the benefit of a local LGBTQ+ youth charity. How do you respond?
The Unspeakable Horror is currently possessing the body of Louisa Milligen, who is a gay woman. Unfortunately I think that means that the Unspeakable Horror is canonically homophobic, as I firmly believe that inconveniencing queer people is always homophobic. However I don't think it would protest if asked to wear the pride-themed jersey, as its only goal is to play hockey until the end of time.

As a user I'll take the opportunity to mention that I'm gay and that I consider outward, pre-emptive, and unashamed consideration of queer people as something of great importance to me for any locker room I might join. In that respect I would absolutely wear the pride-themed warmup jersey.

- Any hobbies you’ve been into lately?
Oh dude, there are these things called "sim leagues", they're pretty cool. You get to create a player on a forum, and that player (and yourself as a person, by extension) will be scouted and drafted to teams run by real people. But there's a shit ton of ongoing drama and intense grudges coming from ancient feuds that happened 8 years ago, which is super weird but also very interesting.

Seriously though, I recently took up D&D again, which has been nice. I have finally been allowed to make my own player and I don't have to DM.

- What is the best book you have read and why? (Comics included)
Oh it's absolutely Harrow The Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir. It's the sort of book that makes you feel like you're losing your mind, like nothing is real—but it does it in a way that is so twisted and funny and just super fucking bizarre that it's just a lot of fun. To spoil one of my favorite parts: the point-of-view character cooks a soup made using her own bone marrow, so that she can sneak a piece of her own body into the stomach of her co-worker (best description I can think of), allowing her to blow him up and kill him despite him being 99% immortal (she is a necromancer so these things happen). However God intervenes and tells them to play nice, so the co-worker is put back together and they finish dinner.

- What do you consider the most important part of a fun league experience?
An active locker room that's welcoming to new faces and is ready to make jokes. Weird jokes are the cornerstone of my social interaction.

- What’s your favorite Pokemon? Why?
I think it'd have to be Eldegoss. It's a pretty weak grass-type, but its moveset is very much suited for a stall team, which is how I enjoy playing Pokemon. Of course, I love its design as well. It's absolutely my favorite design of the last few generations.

- What video games do you play?
I recently was sucked back into League of Legends, which is probably a bad thing. I used to play a lot of EU4, and I was very good at it, but I haven't played in a long time. Mostly I just play whatever Switch game I can spend time with my girlfriend playing.

- If you were to choose a breed of dog you would most likely be, what would it be and why?
This is my opportunity to tank my draft stock. I just generally dislike dogs, and they dislike me right back. I don't think about dog breeds, and I reject the premise of identifying with one.