Jussi Mutou, Update Portal, and Xavier Beausoleil are the future for the Colorado Raptors. Three firdt round picks, playing the legendary LW/RW/RD triangle. There aren't many things that inspire more fear in an opponent's fourth line in the Simulation Major Junior Hockey League. Let's have an in depth look.

First, we have Xavier Beausoleil. The opposition will clearly be in awe of him, just from seeing his last name on his jersey. You're going to see season ending injuries from players double knotting their tongue trying to say his name. It's a shame wifi was already taken as a nickname.

That brings us to Jussi. Mutou is another fun name to try and pronounce, and after the opposing team is stunned by Beausoleil, Mutou will come out of nowhere to deliver a simulation version of the mandible claw, complete with Rocko (the Colorado sock puppet that is brand new to the shl verse) to really lock them down.

After the opposing team has been shocked, stunned, twisted and tied - it's time. Update Portal will finally make his appearance on the scene. Stalking his way up the ice, this majestic beast takes the one time pass. Right as he goes to shoot, a Portal 2 sized portal opens up in front of him, and above the goalie. CRACK! The puck leaves his stick, and in the blink of an eye it's gone! Unfortunately, Portal physics don't work the way I want them to in this story. Gotta get the word count in, you know? And about 8 seconds later, the puck plops out of the portal about the goalies head. It drops down, with no momentum at all, beind thd goalie. Just then, Mutou gets knocked into Beausoleil who falls into the goalie and pushes the puck into the goal!

It takes the ESPN play of the week for 1 show, before being dislodged by cornhole.