OPTION 2 - monkaS

First I'd start out by getting a job in their front office and working my way up the ladder over the years until I was finally offered a position directly dealing with the team. Something low level, probably. All the while I'd be taking management courses at the local university and stuff until I could get my MBA. With my MBA I'd apply for the mysteriously vacant equipment manager position. I'd borderline outsource all the work to lower level employees (like a true MBA) and make sure that everything they do follows a strict, yet comprehensive flowchart. According to the flowchart all shipments and deliveries should be handled SOLELY by UPS. I'd also negotiate with UPS to get favorable rates - that's the cover. After 3-5 years in this position, while *also* working nights at UPS as a truck packer, I'd leave the equipment manager position and work full time for UPS. Within another 3-5 years I should be able to get a delivery route. A little known fact about UPS drivers is once a year they get to bid on routes based on seniority, so I'd be a medium-level UPS employee by now, and would probably be able to bid for the route that contains the arena. Once I secured that route, I'd consistently miss delivery times from anywhere from an hour or two to a day or two. Since UPS employees are union it's incredibly hard to fire them or punish them by moving them off route, so long as all the deliveries are eventually being made. When critical deliveries such as team equipment were on my route, I'd "accidentally" pack them onto another truck to further delay the deliver. Try playing a game without sticks, idiots.