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S74 PT#0: Your Dad

Please pick ONE prompt to write about. Do not mix and match prompts. Identify the prompt you are using in your submission - Copying and pasting the prompt will deduct from your word count so if you do this make sure YOUR submission is 150+ words excluding the prompt.

OPTION 1 - Rock that dad bod

Written Task: Describe how your team is going to win the cup this season, because obviously they are. Include at least one dad joke.

Graphic option: Draw your player's dad holding the cup.

OPTION 2 - monkaS

Written Task: Describe how you would sabotage your team's archrival before a game in which the winner makes the playoffs and the loser goes golfing. The sneakier the better. Don't get caught!

Graphic option: Draw your player finding themselves the victims of an equipment sabotage.

You will receive 3 TPE for fulfilling all requirements.

All responses are due on Monday, December 4th at 11:59 PST. NOTE: IF YOU SUBMIT/EDIT AFTER THE DEADLINE YOU WILL RECEIVE REDUCED/NO TPE.

Affiliate claims from either PBE or ISFL or WSLB or SSL are accepted; link directly to your post and note if your username is different there.
If you have any questions/concerns, please PM me. Tasks with malicious intent will not be graded. The graders reserve the right to determine malicious intent, after discussion with me. You will not be warned.

This task is for SHL players and send downs only. If your player is S75, that's not you.

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PT pass

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Yo wtf

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Written Task: Describe how you would sabotage your team's archrival before a game in which the winner makes the playoffs and the loser goes golfing. The sneakier the better. Don't get caught!

For the past few seasons the Chicago Syndicate and Texas Renegades have been archrivals since they are consistently battling for 2nd place in the Central division and have been facing each other in the 1st round during the SHL playoffs. Texas is now one of the top TPE teams in the whole league, while Chicago has taken a step back with losing MST and their core is aging and regressing. Knowing that Texas has the edge on the ice this season, Chicago will need to resort to off-ice tactics to sabotage Texas. @downer who is also on Texas is the main person in terms of the update portal and if Ben Jammin found a way to hack into his computer and remove all of Texas TPE before this do or die game between the two rival teams. He would look to sneak into the Texas dressing room and access Downer's laptop which surely does not have any passwords or security measures to protect from theft. Ben Jammin would make all Texas players drop to 155 TPE and make everyone on Chicago have 2K TPE, this is a masterplan that will come to fruition this season and ensure victory in this matchup.

(201 words)

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Thank you @High Stick King @OrbitingDeath @Ragnar @Tesla for the player signatures! 

Option 2:

I will start by doing the old saw handle stick move, where you hollow up the underside of the blades of the sticks, so they are more likely to snap. From there, I'll fill the hollow spot with steel. Then I will report to the refs that they are using illegal equipment.

Assuming that doesn't work, I will give a call to good old Wayne Holloway. I will let him know that someone on his team... is a spy and is trying to murder them! that'll throw them off.

Lastly, I will send them a cookie basket a few hours before the game. I will send it from the Detroit cookie company. The problem? I will be taking out those delicious cookies from the bakery and replacing them with cookies from Brady's Bakery. Brady's Bakery has an amazing cookies. However, they will have the dog biscuits. The kicker? The added Benadryl frosting.

This all doesn't really matter tho, as Detroit will be in last place, and won't be making the playoffs anyway.

(180ish words)

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Colorado Raptors Capitan S42-Until Forever!
Czechia Wants you! Ask about a transfer!!


Pt pass

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Czechoslovakia PROFILE || UPDATE || RAGE. Rage 
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ISFL affiliate

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Sig credits: OrbitingDeath & enigmatic

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Timber Scarecrows pride Aurora France

This Season Alexandros got an early call up to the Chicago Syndicate. Chicago is a team that has had strong showings the last few seasons but seem to have had their age catch up to them and this will likely be the last year of their contention window. Clearly, they will win this season by pure friendship dedication and plot armor after nearly splitting up for their final chance at the cup, the story line is simply too good for fate to pass up. Since we have an aged-up core, we will obviously be utilizing our most dangerous weapon, dad jokes upon our enemies. If they slip on the ice, we will give them the ol “first day on with the new legs?” and many more if they try to mess with us. The Glory days of the Syndicate maybe be gone until the next era but we aren’t going out without that last fight and we are not above dad jokes in our last push.

166 words

Option 1:

The Tampa Bay Barracuda will win the cup by doing lots of lunges in the off-season. That will cause us to take a big step forward. Okay, now that the dad joke is out of the way, I'll talk about the Cuda a bit. Tampa is still in a rebuilding phase as prospects like myself are being called up from the SMJHL, but there are still some great players on the team that could carry us on a deep run. The last 2 seasons saw some huge forward acquisitions in Rikkert Biemans and Benson Fiorentini, two superstars in their prime. If they can create chemistry with 3rd year player Johnny Wagner-Svensson, this trio can be a deadly offensive force. The defense will once again be led by John Brown and Longname Dubolk, two defensively focused defenders who will keep the team stingy. Tibuk Soonika in net provdes a consistent starter who can win the team games.

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Thanks to @karey and @JSS for the sigs!

Former USA Fed Head, Carolina Kraken Co-GM, Tampa Bay Barracuda GM

PT Pass

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Thanks @enigmatic, @Carpy48, @Bayley, @Ragnar, @sulovilen, & @dasboot for the signatures!
France | Raptors | Battleborn | [Image: 7MO9RpC.png] | [Image: sXDU6JX.png] | [Image: gdppv5N.png] | Battleborn | Raptors | France

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I imagine that when the kraken win the cup it’ll be a glorious occasion with a lot of hot dogs and salads and sandwiches all around. Westley Patrick will be dancing around the room as excited as a new born babe as he gets his cup win before he graduates to the next level. I imagine that Cob O’Corn will hug someone with his leafs because he’s so excited, he can be pretty corny I know. And our Ausie who definitely did not beef will be so confused why we’re all standing on our heads will just be happy we won the cup at all. Beetze nickleback will beat ze living day light out of anyone who doesn’t cook their hotdogs the right way and the Olive’s, what we call two of our new rookies due to them both having a variation of Olivia or Olivera as their name, will gather the rest of the rookies and probably pull a prank on the old guard for eh team.

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(This post was last modified: 11-29-2023, 01:08 AM by ThisSeemsFishy. Edited 1 time in total.)

Option 2

There are many things Jussi Mutou would do if it meant the Colorado Raptors would finally win the big championship. Of course, there is one thing that isn’t against any league rules that he can find. Banishment to the shadow realm. Using his highly skilled level of hockey, (and magical hockey stick from his Finnish ancestor) Jussi Mutou canonically can trap opponents souls in an alternate dimension ice hockey shadow realm (aka New Jersey) after defeating them in a 1 on 1 hockey game. The best part about this plan is that there is no way of proving that Jussi Mutou is the one sending people to the shadow realm. There isn’t even any evidence that it exists. Jussi could theoretically trap the star players of every team they play against before the game even begins, leaving them at the mercy of the Raptors. You can’t stop the King of Hockey Games.

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credit to MuNk22 for the sig


PT Pass

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PT Pass

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Option 1

My team is going to win the cup this season. There is no way around it. They have won it quite recently, actually only two seasons ago, so they should know how to do it. Obviously this will be my first season with my new team so I can't really claim that I've helped in the past, but at the same time I shouldn't be the reason why they can't win it again since we all know how useless goalies are. I won't make any difference, especially as a backup. However, I've won a cup in the J as a backup so I do have experience with opening doors on the bench, don't underestimate that skill. We also added other new players on the team, they should make the difference. I also don't really know any dad jokes so I googled one for you, enjoy: "What do you call a fish with no eyes?" "A fsh." - If you didn't like it, not my problem. To conclude this: yes, my team is going to win the cup this season. It's clearly going to happen. I might even be good, who knows. Probably not though.

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sigs either by @Wasty, @Nokazoa, @sulovilen, @Capt_Blitzkrieg, @sköldpaddor, @Ragnar, @enigmatic, @Lime or myself

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