It is actually really easy to explain why SHL players don’t ever get injured.

You see, the year was 2011. The league was stood up and most current SHL members were either not born yet or still shitting in diapers. The creators of the league wanted a league without injuries, concussions, and most importantly without lawsuits from concussed players.

They concocted the drug that is now known as Uninjurol, which is of course a mixture of testosterone, trenbolone, adderall, aspirin and pcp. So basically every SHL player is a roided out super human zombie with insane focus. Unable to be killed with conventional weapons, the only way to make sure this new breed of super human could eventually be slowed down was to make them hit regression in four seasons.

Bids were put in my the U.S. Army and U.S. Marine Corpse to try to purchase this drug for their troops fighting overseas, but the SHL creators declined.