In a world where injuries are possible in the simulation hockey league, we must have all of the juice monkey doctors lined up for specific healing purposes. Steroids were once a shady business; perhaps foreign entitites would import and export these in demand taboo goods.

Now, steroids are like an IV drip, or access to a personal chef. Steroids are simply like coffee for the bourgeoisie. That is, if you were ashamed of your espresso. Anybody on your TV with an admirable physique has dabbled, and why hate? They are simply richer than you, and do steroids. They may tell you it’s all hard work, and chicken and broccoli is the only key to success. Perhaps a small harem of their equally mentally corrupt subordinates are aware of steroids use in their exclusive circles but they never allow the peasants a chance to dabble. They know they’d be too powerful.

Bongo would cycle anavar, rad140, mk677, turkesterone, testosterone, deca, nerds rope, trenbolone, and clomid in order to rid himself of shin splints.