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How many hours a week do you usually have free? (ie. 1, 3, 6+, etc.) too few.
What is the most optimal way of cooking a hotdog?
first, shave the dog. second, feed it things to make it thoroughly empty its digestive tract, then clean up after with a braise of
warm apple cider vinegar and goat's blood. Kill the dog. Remove claws and paws. Reserve nose and pads for snacking. Cook until hot,
ideally wrapped in tinfoil buried until a campfire used for ritual sacrifice. Burn fire for two days. Eat with ketchup.
What made you join the SHL?
My VHL player is Virtual. I wanted to be Simulated instead.
If you could travel back to any point in time, what would it be and why?
To the tail end of the biblical flood of Noah's Ark. I'd expect great surfing. I'd also start a platypus genetic engineering program.
If you had to give a 30 minute lecture from memory what topic would you choose?
Strategies in the game of rock/paper/scissors/lizard/spock.
Waffles or pancakes?
Waffle. Waffle irons leave better scars.
If a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound?
Only if the forest is in a listening mood.
In honor of your team’s Pride Night, you’re being asked to wear a pride-themed warmup jersey to be auctioned off for the benefit of a local LGBTQ+ youth charity.
How do you respond?
I refuse on immoral grounds. Instead, I show up in full drag, wearing a tiara and feather boa and fake eyelashes 10cm long. Also, my jock will be a 80cm codpiece.
Any hobbies you’ve been into lately?
Writing. Long walks off short piers.
What is your opinion on The French?
By cooking with butter, olive oil, and lard, they've made better food than peoples who prefer only one of the three above the others.
What is the best book you have read and why? (Comics included)
Neal Stephenson's "The Diamond Age" for its brilliant world-building and relentless snark.
What do you consider the most important part of a fun league experience?
A good locker room.
Taylor ham or Pork Roll?
I've never heard of Taylor Ham. If it's Ham carved in the shape of Taylor Swift, sure, that.
What’s your favorite Pokemon? Why?
Whichever one is served in Pokebowls. I like that sashimi texture.
What video games do you play?
Sid Meier's Civilization. Clash of Clans.
If you were to choose a breed of dog you would most likely be, what would it be and why?
A sheepdog, because relentlessly annoying sheep would get me rewarded.
egregious
