1) My GM is asking me to fly back to Colorado to promote the team's new AI that's supposed to help fans book tickets and write their own erotic fan fictions or something. I don't know, I guess the team owners said we had to have something AI related to sell people or they'd pull funding. Anyway I'm on break camping in Jasper so I wasn't particularly interested in going. When they called I started screaming into the phone about how I was getting eaten by a bear and the bear is eating me so bad and I think it's eating my feet. They were really worried and asked if I'd still be able to play hockey this season and I said yes but right now it's eating my feet so bad and it hurts so much. So then I said I can't come promote the shitty AI Raptors app or whatever because my feet were so messed up from the bear attack and they said that was fine. So I got off the hook! Easy peasy!