If the SHL was looking for a new rule to enforce, I think it's time for an era of extreme petiness. Too many players are running their mouths on the ice and getting away with it, and while unsportsmanlike conduct is already a call the referee team can make, it doesn't get nearly specific enough. I propose a set of more specific terms to what exactly you were being made fun of for with correlating penalties. Someone says you stink or your pants are sagging... Gentle Verbal Transgression (or GVT for short). Someone brings your mom into it, or jokes about your wife up in the stands? Mediocre Verbal Transgression (MVT for short). Things get truly dicey and race or sexuality are brought into the mix? Jail (J for short) is your new home. Players will be expected to sit on the center ice dot while their own team mates are expected to gently remind them there's a softer way through life until the rest of their line changes.

Make the world a better place y'all.