Written Option 2:

Honestly, Slip McScruff is comfortable in the penalty box. He's in there so often that he's stashed treats and snacks to refuel mid game. One great thing about the penalty box is that you cannot be hit with a minus on the box score when you're stuck in the box. And you get a nice stretch of game where you don't have to play or worry about getting a puck to the head.

Does Slip McScruff deserve to be in the box as much as he is? Probably. It's a young athlete's game and he's stuck clutching at jerseys when they blow by. You can't do that and Slip doesn't try to pretend. He's also a bit frail these days, so he gets called on embellishment occasionally when his hips give out. Luckily, the best thing to do when that happens is sit on the bench for 2 whole minutes and give it a rest.

Slip's reaction is generally a like The Office reaction cam type thing. He's not looking at any real camera and the broadcast is always him looking at some random pylon somewhere.