Written option 2: electric boogaloo 

Djoe anderson is all about the fans, he knows when he shows up to the home opener he's there to make the night one of the best nights of  the fans lives, like he's all in on doing everything to be the ultimate showman, the ultimate teammate, and hell one time he even helped propose to a fans partner just because he wanted everything to go smooth, and who better than Djoe Anderson to help spring the question.

The night began like any other, Djoe walking down the tunnel, smashing glizzies and meeting lizzies (Like the lizard people that we all know are amongus) haha amongus. Anyways Djoe signed many things for people, caps, jerseys, car tires, empty jars of pickles, he really just signed everything. He signed a cast that he himself gave a fan the week prior after accidentally slipping on his discarded hotdog and smashing a youngster into the concrete wall, long story short that kid will never play hockey, but that's what happens when you go against the best.

~173 words, +1 TPE for effort.