Written Prompt #1

In 510 career games spread across both the SHL and SMJHL, Matviy Cajabi has gotten into a grand total of 1 fight. And while those numbers certainly don't lend itself to a pugilist extraordinaire, it doesn't count the other fights he gets into that don't get marked down on the scoresheet at the end of the game.
Some of you might be familiar with the 1999 film Fight Club. If you haven't are think that you might one day, you might not want to read ahead as I'm about to spoil it. You see, often times throughout his career you could see Cajabi going full Edward Norton on the ice, beating the shit out of himself on the ice or on the bench. It is a bizarre spectacle, there's no doubt about it. At first referees and teammates alike weren't sure what to make of it, but it's normal now and they just let him do his thing.
With another stinker of a season in the books for himself, it has become increasingly more common for him to enter into combat with himself. Perhaps next  year he'll finally figure things out and stop beating himself up, but until then if you're the kind of hockey fan that longs for the days of rock 'em, sock 'em hockey and some fisticuffs, enjoy Cajabi v Cajabi for the time being.