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Julio Tokolosh · 06-23-2021, 12:43 PM

Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard made popular by Paul Simon.
Covered by Tony Pepperoni

[This song was originally written about the SHL, so I've added the genius lyrics meanings

The mama pajama rolled out of bed
And she ran to the police station [the linesman saw something and went to tell the referee]
When the papa found out he began to shout
And he started the investigation [the referee blows the whistle stopping play. ref and toronto initiate a review of the previous play.
It's against the law
It was against the law
What the mama saw
It was against the law [although no call was made on the ice, the linesman's gut tells him/her that the previous play was not in the spirit of SHL hockey]
The mama looked down and spit on the ground
Every time my name gets mentioned [time has passed, but the non-call haunts the officiating crew]
The papa said, "Oy, if I get that boy
I'm gonna stick him in the house of detention" [the referee wants the player suspended for his actions]
Well I'm on my way
I don't know where I'm going
I'm on my way
I'm taking my time
But I don't know where [The offender, potentially Tony Pepperoni or Tom Wilson, or another 2way forward type continues to play freely and not worry about what smaller people think when the league]
Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona [Open to interpretation. possibly Wilson's farewell to Oshie in the expansion draft or Pepperoni's farewell to Truong or Jon Forty-One]
Seein' me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
Seein' me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard [Now the offensive play is dependent on Pepperoni and Julio's schoolyard style of hockey]
Whoa, in a couple days they come and take me away
But the press let the story leak [Pepperoni was almost taken in the expansion draft]
And when the radical priest
Come to get me released
We was all on the cover of Newsweek [Pepperoni stepped down from AGM role in order to expose himself, prompting rule changes and making waves]
And I'm on my way
I don't know where I'm going
I'm on my way
I'm taking my time
But I don't know where
Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of Corona
Seein' me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
Seein' me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard
Seein' me and Julio
Down by the schoolyard

*lmao* · 06-23-2021, 12:58 PM

Adapted from Drink In My Hand - Eric Church https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usGv0gB2zEU

Early Friday evening, til Sunday at four
Man I skate, skate, skate but I don't score, score, score
Referee can shove that overtime up his can
All I wanna do is put a puck in that net

To fill it up, or throw it down
I got a few too many games worth of trouble to drown
No need to complicate it, I'm a simple man
All you got to do is put a puck in that net

Yea the ice is looking ruddy, can't get to the bench
I'll take my jacked up skates and drown in 4 on 4
Chill in a cold rink, warm up the hands
All you gotta do is put a puck in that net

To fill it up, or throw it down
I'm about to tear a new one in this old town (Maine)
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 I'm a rocket (richard) man
All you got to do is put a puck in that net

Make me wanna go ouhhh ouh ouhhh, when you deke like that
You got that little gold puck playing peek-a-boo on the net
Yea if you want to impress me, baby here's my plan
All you got to do is put a puck in that net

Yea fill it on up, or throw it down
When you sauce me that puck, throw it the long way around
You be my Pasta Turtle, I'll be your Beeg Yosh
All you got to do is put a puck in that net

My head Monday evening that damn goal horn sings
It goes bang, bang, bang, while it ring, ring, rings
Yea I'll let it all roll, if you wanna win again
All you got to do is put a puck in that net

Yea fill it up, or throw it down
I got a little hungover, still hanging around
That stupid ass ref is howlin' "hey there man"
All you got to do is put a puck in that net
That stupid ass ref is howlin' "hey there man"
All you got to do is put a puck in that net
Haaaaouuhhhhh

reid · 06-23-2021, 03:35 PM

Look at this photograph
Every time I do, it makes me laugh
How did that get 4 mil?
And what the hell is on fishys head?

....

Oh, whoa, whoa

Every memory of circumventing the salary cap
I had the paint sigs spread out on my bedroom floor
its hard to say it, time to say it
its legal, its legal

crutch · 06-23-2021, 04:01 PM

A good parody song would be "Imagine" by John Lennon but actually about pretending to be an NHL player on the internet and writing media on it.

27.

***Aephino*** · 06-23-2021, 04:58 PM

Cups
By: Not Avicii

Once upon a younger year
Before our losses disappeared
The Renegades inside came out to play
Went face to face with all our peers
Learned from fat Ls through the tears
Made memories we knew would never fade

One day Puoli, he told me
"Ed, don't let it slip away"
He took me in his arms, I heard him say
"When you get older
You'll recall this cup from younger days
Think of me if you ever miss TPE"

He said: "One day you'll leave this league behind
So make a build you will remember"
Puoli told me when I was just a scrub
"These are the cups that never die"
Puoli told me

3lewsers · 06-23-2021, 06:05 PM

Its the…

stick of the player
Its the thrill of the goal

Rising up to checking of opponents

We’re the last known goaltender
in the SHL now

And we’re skating forever to get….

the stick of the player

***Rangerjase*** · 06-23-2021, 08:42 PM

To the tune of Work by Drake and Rihanna
SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT
FANS YELLIN AT ME SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT
THEY SEE ME SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT.
WHEN YOU GONNA SCORE SCORE SCORE SCORE SCORE
ME NUH CARE IF HE BLOCKS BLOCKS BLOCKS BLOCKS

DRY, ME AH SCORE ON HIM
NO TIME TO HAVE YOU SAVING
HIM AH GO ACT LIKE

Jesus i hate this i’m done.

MyLittleHexx · 06-23-2021, 08:55 PM

Oh I am fuckin' an animal
I'm fuckin' an animal
I'm holding on the horns
I'm fuckin' an animal
I'm involved with SHL
I'm fuckin' an animal
Sure is nice and warm in here
I'm fuckin' an animal drinking fifty beers
I'm fuckin' an animal blowing fifty steers
I'm fuckin' an animal
Oh, I'm a fucking hockey player
I'm fuckin' an animal
Didn't have to take her on a date
Just had to stand here on a crate
No talking, no torment, no long-term commitment
Just me and animal,
Getting my dick bent I'm fuckin' an animal
Didn't have to say please I'm fuckin' an animal
With legionnaires disease I'm fuckin' an animal
Damn hard on the knees... I'm fuckin' an animal
Animal fucker, on the loose I'm fuckin' an animal
I'll go from Steelhawk to Kraken I'm fuckin' an animal
Once I fucked a Falcon I'm fuckin' an animal
But now the animal is in pain!
It's in pain, it's in pain, it's in pain (terrible pain).
And now it's starting to rain
But I'm still the same. I'm fuckin' an animal
Not proud of what I do I'm fuckin' an animal
Had a great time at the zoo I'm fuckin' an animal
Cause you won't let me fuck you
Animal!

Original Song

suavemente · 06-23-2021, 10:49 PM

Johnny Cash - HAM

I HAM'd myself today,
To see if I still feel.
I focus on the loss,
It the only thing that's real.

The hat-trick tears a hole,
The old familiar sting.
Try to win it all away,
but the standings still stays.

What have I become,
my sweetest team.
Everyone I know,
goes to HAM in the end.

And you can have it all,
my empty case of cups.
I will let you down,
I will make you lose.

Moreorless89 · 06-24-2021, 01:36 AM

Shame on HO for tryna run games on Toronto
Shame on HO for tryna run games on Toronto
Shame on HO for tryna run games on Toronto

Gonna still take that Cup

It's North Stars (and Wu-Tang) forever.

40 words of creative mastery.

krazko · 06-24-2021, 01:47 AM

Avicii
Hey brother

Hey Wolfpack

Hey Wolfpack
There's a Challenge cup to re-conquer
Hey Wolfpack
Know the water's sweet but blood is thicker
Oh, if the SHL comes falling down, on you
There's nothing on the ice I wouldn't do
Hey Wolfpack
Do we still believe in one another?
Hey Wolfpack
Do we still believe in wins I wonder?
Oh, if the SHL comes falling down, on you
There's nothing on the ice I wouldn't do
What if we're on the road?
Oh, Wolfpack I will hear you call
What if we lose it all?
Oh, Wolfpack we will rise again
Oh, if the SHL comes falling down, on you
There's nothing on the ice I wouldn't do
Hey Wolfpack
There's a Challenge cup to re-conquer
Hey Wolfpack
Do we still believe in wins I wonder?
Oh, if the SHL comes falling down, on you
There's nothing on the ice I wouldn't do
What if we're on the road?
Oh, Wolfpack I will hear your call
What if we lose it all?
Oh, Wolfpack we will rise again
Oh, if the SHL comes falling down, on you
There's nothing on the ice I wouldn't do

Raven · 06-24-2021, 05:49 AM

Code:
Your task: Create a parody title and/or parody lyrics to a song. MUST BE SHL/HOCKEY related parody.

I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To score them is my real test

To assist them is my cause

I will skate across the ice

Checking far and wide

Teach rookies to understand

The power that's inside

Thank you Fever, sköldpaddor and OD for the amazing sigs!

Montreal Impact/Militia Militia-Old

|Player Page| Stars

|Update Page| Japan

Mooty99 · 06-24-2021, 05:59 AM

There is, a team, in New Orleans, they call the Specters, and its been the ruin of many player and god out oppo will be some.
Our goalie is a bear, he ate my new blue jeans, our coach is an crazy old man, down in New Orleans.

JumpierPegasus · 06-24-2021, 09:56 AM

You Might Think the Casino Loves You For Your Money But I Know What They Really Love You For It’s Your Inability to Select a Single Correct Prediction Due to the New Scale

- Death Grips

DannyC · 06-24-2021, 11:08 AM

Boom needs to calm down:

You have some goalie that I don't know
But we're taking shots at you like it's Whisky
And I'm just like "Damn, it's 7 to Oh"
Say it on the ice, that's a knock-out
But you say we got IA's that's a cop-out
And I'm just like, "Hey, are you jelly?"

And I an't trying to mess with your team-identity
But I've learned the lesson I ain't stressin
And obssessin 'bout the Knight's is so fun
And posts and complaints never broke our stride so

So, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to calm down
You're typing too much
And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to just stop
Like, can you just not step on my Jersey?
You need to calm down

You are some losers that we don't know
But you're coming at my teammates like your pissed off
Why you mad?
When you could be Champs?

So, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to calm down
You're typing too much
And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to just stop
Like, can you just not step on my Jersey?
You need to calm down

And we see you over there on the fourms
Comparing all the teams who are killin it
But we figured you out
We all know now, we all got trophies
You need to calm down

Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to calm down (you need to calm down)
You're typing too much (you're typing too much)
And I'm just like oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
You need to just stop (can you stop?)
Like, can you just not step on our Jerseys?
You need to calm down

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