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S60 PT #2: Total Recall

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PBE PT

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Credit to Wasty
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Credit to Sulovilen



Well Ursin Zimmermann made a contract with a company making some sick shoes which was named nO. Ursin saw Roger Federer make a contract with ON but forgot the name and was to lazy to google the name so he thought nO was the same company with which Roger Federer made a contract. Well Ursin recieved a package with some nO shoes which at first glance looked nice but after a week started to feel strange. The soles of the shoes did not feel like they are that foamy like advertised and also not that sturdy. But Ursin thought Roger Federer knows what some good shoes are and still wore em. Well a week later he got a call from his manager whom told him that the nO company is selling already worn shoes which they painted new so they looked new. Ursin felt pretty dumb and instantly canceled the contract and made a public statement to give everyone a pair of new ON shoes if they got a bad nO shoe because of him.
Well thanks to this statement he lost a ton of money but got an advertisment contract with ON which brought him big $$$.

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Thank you @Carpy48, @honkerrs

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PBE PT

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Canada Knights Canada Knights Canada

As big raicing fan and folk racing driver it was Björn himself that contacted some car manufacters to build his dream folk raicing car. In the end he found a supplier that would be willing to work with him and this cooperation also led to Björn designing some parts for retail. They worked for his car but weren't really up to regulations of any racing series and were mostly for cars that didn't see use in civilian life almost at all. Still they managed to sell some thousand parts, mostly decorative for people who were huge fans of Texas Renegades, after all they are reigning champions. But even those parts were using sub-par materials to cut the costs and there was serious threath that they would fall apart while driving the car resulting in full call back. As the product was never really heavily marketed it was easy to just call back and sweep under the rug.

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Sigs by @Carpy48, @Nokazoa and me



Slip McScruff landed a sweet product placement deal for a line of turkey deep fryers.  He would be in all the commercials shooting turkeys into deep fryers from the point with giant slap shots and saying cheesy lines like "I don't shoot often, but with the McDeepFryer, I never miss".  To set up for more catastrophe, he would take turkeys directly out of the freezer before this stunt.  In the commercials, none of the deep fryers were ever on or filled with hot oil.

Then the public decided to try their hand at it.  A series of tiktoks came out of people shooting turkeys into the deep fryer.  The first wave was not bad because they didn't turn on the deep dryer, didn't have hot oil, and just wanted to show off their skills.  Then the second wave hit.  People were setting their garages on fire and injuring their families by shooting frozen turkeys into hot oil.  The base would give out and projectile spray all this oil out at an angle.  The shooter was rarely injured because the fryer tipped away, but they were usually shot out in the driveway with the garage door behind.

Ultimately, the commercials were pulled and then the fryers had to be recalled in favor of a new wave with a stronger base.  The company decided to partner with a basketball player because there is less of a liability when the turkey goes in from above instead of a slapshot.

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credit to Flappy, ToeDragon, and Carpy

Steelhawks Patriotes Stars Panthers Platoon Specters Platoon Panthers Specters Aurora Jets Usa Scarecrows

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Once upon a time when Lemo signed up to join the SHL and consequently moved to Anchorage, Alaska to join the Armada he was approached by an estonian businessman who dealt in the frozen and canned fish product market. He wanted to use Lemo's potential success and growing reknown in the area to advertize his brand of canned fish from the Baltic sea to Alaska and later in North America in general.

According to the deal, Lemo was to try to bring up his "favourite" fish dish whenever he had a chance to talk to the press and was also sent a cargo container full of products for him to be able to deal them out to whoever became even slightly interested in what he had to peddle them. 

Well, it didn't work out too well. By the third year that he was in Alaska, he had yet to become the big deal that the businessman had hoped he would be, and even when he got the chance, Lemo would most times forget about this obligation. 

And then when one day a local storeowner heard of these exotic delicacies and even thought of giving them a chance to maybe find a place on a shelf in his store, when they opened the door to the cargo container, they discovered that due to a cooler malfunction all that was left of the shipment by then had been ruined.

All in all, it was a grand fiasco that tarnished reputations of both the estonian fishmonger and also Lemo as an advertising persona.

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Forge  S69 Challenge Cup Champion - Philadelphia Forge   Forge
Renegades Renegades  S59 & S62 Challenge Cup Champion - Texas Renegades  Renegades  Renegades 
 Armada  S57 Four Star Cup Champion - Anchorage Armada  Armada 
Finland  Finland  S57 & S58 WJC / S62, S64 & S66 IIHF Gold Medalist - Team Finland   Finland  Finland
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After 69 shots on net with still no SHL goals to show for it, even the opposition started to feel so sorry for Lemo, that they decided to help him out :D
- Bad pass by Jack Klompus, he gave it right to Lemo Pihl.
- Lemo Pihl rips it to the net...
- Lemo Pihl will find the empty net, that should do it!
TEX @ MAN, S59 game 31

Luke Thomason's worst clunker of a sponsorship was when he teamed up with koko crunch but in Czechian words, you know? Anyway, the sponsorship was that there was a little hockey stick in the cereal, and then if you get the golden hockey stick you get a signed hockey stick by me. THere was a total of 100 signed hockey sticks that I did, and a 100 golden hockey sticks. The worst part was that in the golden hockey sticks, was that it was no wrapped in plastic for some reason, so that the artificial gold in the hockey stick was poisones to children. Which was a bad situation that koko crunch that they didnt think about that. Kinda cringe not going to lie. So anyway, so they ahd to recall all of the koko crunch boxes, and lost a lot of money for everyone involved. I had to apologize and had to redo the contest at a later point

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Czechoslovakia PROFILE || UPDATE || RAGE. Rage 
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After sponsoring a brand of skates a couple of years ago (see image for reference):
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Ryu Jones has to do some PR after learning that they are just Converse with Razor Blades glued to the bottom:
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Credit to @Symmetrik
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Disisde Dayudie has been a strong fan of Katanas, as it is part of his japanese heritage. He entered a deal with the SKYJIRO Forge which is a forger of premium katanas, who were kidn enough to reach out after hearing about DDs passion for the craft. SKYJIRO decided to advertise a special DD collection which were made to order, you could choose 4 different colors, for his 4 different North American teams, which of course are Lethbridge Lions, Newfoundland Berserkers, Los Angeles Panthers and Chicago Syndicate. To no surprise the Chicago Syndicate ones were sold in the highest numbers, a lot of Newfoundland ones were sold, and a few Los Angeles colored ones, people living in the past i guess.

Funnily enough the LA colored ones had a hidden message on the hilt, which not everyone noticed at first. A small text saying "Go Chicago Syndicate". When the complaints started coming in to DD, primarily on Twitter, he just laughed and replied "シカゴシンジケートに行こう"

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Pavel Jeziak was asked by the Taco Bell company to develop a new meal as a part of a sponsorship deal, as Jeziak is a big fan of fast food and taco bell. He designed a meal for 18+ year olds, involving rum soaked pork, tequila soaked vegetables and a 6 pack of beers on the side. The main part of the meal was a taco filled with said pork and veggies. Then topped of with cheese, served on a special pint that had a lid working as a plate, the idea was to eat the taco, then chug the beer. The problem was not only the fact that this meal caused confusion among people, leading to many dropped tacos as people opened the beer first being thirsty. It also was found out that meat soaked in alcohol for 24 hours before serving is not good for you. Occasionally people would buy this dish for the beer and hand the taco to a child. causing many alcohol poisonings. It is safe to say Jeziak does not have a sponsorship anymore and the dish didn't last longer than a few days on the menu.

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The product I landed a deal with was clearly in my taste, both figurative and litterative. Alcohol of all kinds. My tweeting has gotten the attention of many companies that I do love alcohol in all forms, shapes and tastes and have no trouble experimenting or trying something new. The deal was for a real classic whiskey, nothing special, except that it was Scottish, nothing like that american "whiskey" that goes by the name bourbon or something similar. Now, unfortunately, this real deal is nothing that people in the USA were prepared for it seems. The whiskey was made a little stronger, to suit my taste and to go for a special, limited edition to make some extra sales. I was also given a batch myself as a bit of extra payment. Unfortunately, the product was labeled with the wrong alcohol percentage, the proof. People all over were underestimating the effects, even me and the teammates, and the result is easilly guessable. However, not a lot of people want to return it. The fault and limited edition have made the bottles even more valuable as a side effect.

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The hot sauce that signed me to a player deal was a bit too hot. Early reports came in that individuals were having their regular bowel movements changed up a bit. These new bowel movements were like that movie series, fast and furious. So they ended up doing a total recall. The numbers of people affected were just too great. People were getting violently ill from this stuff. The numbers were out of control. Only the true fans will have the fortitude and constitution to eat this stuff, and it’s charming to see those true fans eating the stuff. I’m glad nobody was too hurt by the sauce, it can be easy to do. I’m not happy that the sauce had a total recall, but it gets my name out there and they always say that publicity is good publicity. The bad thing is that we might see some chirping out on the ice about recalls since it seems that so many of the league players are having endorsed products recalled.

Reed Kobo - Winger - #33
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Elijah Jones - Winger - #33 Retired
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Toivo Kosonen - Defenseman - #33 Retired
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I was planning to make new treats to Anton's Pet Daycare customers, but the problem was, it was hard to find any good taste combination, because as you can understand, animals food or treats might taste and smell awful. Even Nash family can't tolerate his most smelliest treat, so I decide it's better if humans taste those first. As you can imagine, it was hard to find any people to taste those upcoming treats. I decided it's better to send straight to my customers, Rilo, Molly, Ted, George and Nash. I also want invite one cat to test pattern, Titus, even he is little bit evil cat. I include my hand written letter to all boxes and sent those. Unfortunately I later heard that many of them got diarrhea so I really need adjust it a lot at future, so their stomach could handle it better than now. I'm sorry my lovely pets <3

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