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***MikeLiut*** · 01-30-2023, 11:24 PM

I am Ekaterina Valieva mother. I am her agent now. Old agent was got cut smuggling fake Nike shoes out to Russia. Not good. I negotiate contract. I have 3 conditions for new contract. First, must include husband in contract. He must be tall, strong, rich and must like mother-in-law. Must look like Burt Reynolds. Second, get money to play in the British state of Columbia. British state of Columbia not cheap. Vodka not cheap. Cigarettes not cheap. Third, must play big minutes in team. Play on first, second and third line. Ekaterina good to hit players. Hit coaches. Fight mascots. Ekaterina even drove Zamboni once. Not so good at that. Sometimes, Ekaterina scores goals and players are happy. If Ekaterina score goal, team must pay money to fundraising for poor. A check must be paid to me, so I can pay the poor. I pay half to poor and half to Russian mafia because I have loan.

*Ricer13* · 01-31-2023, 12:02 AM

My contract negotiations are going to be simple. There are two things I want and they are: Long term and a No Trade Clause.

Long term is essential because I want to be committed to the team I play for. I want my career to be with one team and the only way I move out is if they absolutely need me to during my final years. When I look back on my career I want to be a name that is remembered of as a Pride member.

Not trade clause is absolutely a no brainer for me. I want complete control of my players future. If I don’t want to be moved then I want to have the right to say no. If I decide I want to move then I want to move say I can decide on where I end up playing. Even late in my career I’ll be specific about where I want to play.

*mystick* · 01-31-2023, 12:17 AM

I mean this is all about the food. I am busy getting better at hockey (I think) so I don't have time to make all the best meals for myself. I want the team to be providing a chef to be cooking for me. I give them some leeway, he can make it at a central location and have it sent to me, that is fine. This way I will have all the best ingredients and won't have to worry about the time consuming part of putting it all together. Also massages. I also push for a masseuse twice a day to get my muscles in the right place and really relax me. Deep tissue, Swedish, Sports, Thai, Shiatsu, I don't discriminate. Just makes my body and mind feel so much better. Adding those into my contract is a great way to get me feeling really good about the team and in the right mindset to dominate all year long.
163 words

TheHammer43 · 01-31-2023, 01:21 AM

Written Task: What special conditions do you want in your players contract? Is there a special snack that has to be in your locker stall every morning? A specific type of coffee stocked in the machine? A certain way the trainer must tape your stick or you'll throw a tantrum and quit? Tell me about what special requirements if any your player wants in their contract and why. (150+ words)

I'm not a very hard-to-please kinda guy, y'know pay me decently, at least what I'm worth, and be nice to me, those two things and you've got yourself a franchise player for his whole career. Now if we're trying to "sweeten the deal" here I'm down for some special conditions! I don't want much, to be honest, maybe a few little things here and there like every 5 goals I score maybe leave a blueberry donut in my locker Wink

That's a pretty fair deal to me and plus its motivation if you ask me, can't go wrong with a blueberry donut. And screw it if you have me on the penalty kill, every penalty kill, shoot me a free coffee and call it a day, lastly I think if the team makes the playoffs we all get a little treat depending on what everyone else wants in their contract of course, for me I'd like if the bosses took the boys out for dinner!!

Salming · 01-31-2023, 04:35 AM

Creative task:

William Salming is an humble ice-hockey player. He doesn't have a lot of special requirements. However, as a two-time SHL champion he was able to get through a couple of his wishes in recent negotiations with new management in Seattle. Salming signed a one-year deal with a salary of 5M per season. But there was also other conditions. One of them was that he can continue to sleep in his own room when Seattle is on the road trip. That is a benefit Salming has had a long time already because he is a veteran player in the team but he wanted to make sure that benefit is still in his use. The second wish was that always after morning ice there is a lunch box waiting for Salming in the locker room because he doesn't want to waste time for cooking on game days. He likes to do it on off days but on game days it is important to get some sleep as soon as possible after morning ice so he is ready to grind at the evening.

*Evil_AllBran* · 01-31-2023, 05:45 AM

Player prompt:

[Image: 8BHdNdw.png]

***retuperkele*** · 01-31-2023, 05:46 AM

Creative one

Before signing his entry level contract with the Los Angeles Panthers, Georg N'Zola had some interesting conditions that had to be met in order for the two to become to an agreement for the contract. First, N'Zola would always have his special reservoir of gorgonzola piccante in the back of the LA training quarters cafeteria. The owners of the franchise were very skeptical at first, given the fact that a guy cannot have cheese with his every meal, but they came to an understanding after agreeing on using it with moderation. One other thing that N'Zola and his agent, Luukas Lilja, were enforcing was that he would only use hockey sticks made by none other than Jofa. The reason behind this was that he had been playing with Jofa hockey sticks for his entire life, and it would not change a slightest bit, considering that LA Panthers is sponsored by Bauer. After intense contract talks, an agreement was made by both parties and N'Zola is officially a LA Panthers franchise player

Opera_Phantom · 01-31-2023, 05:51 AM

Jay Cue does not have a lot of requests when contract renewal time comes. Other than getting a few (a lot) million dollars, all expenses paid (house, car, cleaning crew, phone, personal butler, etc), he needs the team to have a locker room space for his enologist and a cellar that can contain at least 200 bottles of wine. Wine is what fuels Cue to get into the ice and dominate like he normally does. IS it too much to ask? It is not like he does not share with his teammates the wine he tastes when his 5* personal chef brings him he pre game snack. It is a team bonding exercise, all those gooners with no teeth trying some very expensive and delicious wine to make them smarter. It works sometimes, but what do you know, gooners going to goon, some of his teammates are far past the point of no return.
Still, can't blame Cue for trying to up the class in this franchise.

(167 words)

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 01-31-2023, 08:22 AM

I think it's important to find the sweet spot here, get the right perks that make your life easier and help you perform to your maximum, withot being a hassle for everyone around you or coming off as a spoiled brat. For me personally, nutrition as well as certain rituals and consistency around a game are important to get into the right mindset, so those are some of the perks I would be looking for: The right Energy Bars, Fruits and Snacks around my locker at all times as well as some fresh veggies available for all major meals (if the circumstances allow it, of course). The one thing where I would be aiming for something a little more luxurious would be our transportation partner, I'd like to negotiate to be provided with the most state of the art electric car available. It doesn't have to be some crazy sports car or luxury limousine, but I would like to be at the forefront of the newest developments in terms of consumer grade electric vehicles.

**OrbitingDeath** · 01-31-2023, 09:32 AM

My contract demands are clear, I want to stay as goaltender in Winnipeg as long as they love me. So they really need to show their love for me. Demands in my contract are that I will be tamperable, they need to trust me they will be the team for me , and trust in themselves that they will do their best to keep me happy.

I just dont like tampering rules as I would like to be able to talk with friends about joining their team. Despite me hardly going to free agency, it still is nice to feel wanted, so this clause is very important for me.

Next to that, I would like a pink pony with rainbow colored hair.
Make it happen Ace and Rashford. I know it are not many clauses I want, so I hope you are confident enough to be able to keep me around for the future of the Aurora. Now lets win that cup together!

***KaleSalad*** · 01-31-2023, 10:28 AM

Creative Prompt:

Cale Salad is a simple man he enjoys some goodies and snacks as much as the next person. But when it comes to contract negotiations he is very particular in a few things that he simply must have. Firstly the team must supply kale at every meal. Lettuce is boring kale is a super food and where it is at. Kale is a healthy choice and everyone should be eating it! Secondly despite his love of healthy super foods Cale also loves to have a few snacks every now and again. Cale is requesting that his favorite candy Sour Patch kids and Mike and ike’s be available in his locker every gameday. Cause who doesn’t love a little sugar kick. Also Cale has requested that his water bottle always be filled with Fierce Blue Cherry Gatorade. Because it is his favorite flavor and it acts as the thirst quencher he craves on the bench during the game. It keeps him hydrated and performing at his best as the Timber look to challenge for the ship.

Code:
175

***CapnCooper*** · 01-31-2023, 10:35 AM

For Dirty Boots Contract negotiations, things are usually pretty simply. Footwear is to be left at the rink and untouched. It may be a name thing but over the years and with suggested laughs and jokes, a small superstition has been developed regarding his dirty boots. Therefore Boots' footwear is to remain where it is in his stall, untouched at all times and his stall shall not be moved to another location unless under special circumstances.

Other than that oddity, Boots has opted for the Hometown discount. Boots is a team player and intends on staying that way. By taking a cheaper contract, they can help the team out by making more room for others or for providing bonuses to the rookies who need it. Boots has everything he needs now in Texas and has his family taken care of. He's also got plenty of sponsor spots with some local companies that keeps the money coming in.

***Acsolap*** · 01-31-2023, 10:42 AM

Sometimes Red Kirkby thinks he might be possessed by a malevolent spirit. Every time contract talks come around he does not seem to have any conscious choice in the matter of what terms are signed or even what team he plays for. He can not even think about the concept of free agency, it is entirely blocked out in his mind. The only contract terms his mind will let him accept is minimum compensation for the maximum allowable term and only ever with the Philadelphia Forge. Ask for a trade? Forget about it! At this point he is resigned to playing in Pennsylvania for the rest of his career on the barest of bare bones contract. He has tried talking to a therapist, seyonces, carnival tarot card readers and even psychic mediums but no one has an answer for why he is incapable of leaving the forge or even negotiating any kind of contract terms.

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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DarkCanuck29 · 01-31-2023, 01:14 PM

Duncan Mackenzie has one special rider that he demands in his contracts with the Dragons: He must be allowed to direct the rookies in the tasks they perform around the Big Parm Arena. DMack will literally leave money on the table to ensure this is in the contract. He needs to know that the team tiger #kitty is being fed properly. DMack saw what happened the last time #kitty was neglected and the team is still trying to find some of the staff. The Parm Pidgeon, despite getting up there in years, must be taken care of. Though a little slower than before, the Pidgeon is a vital member of the organization and is rumoured to be the actual one pulling the strings on the trades that the GM is pulling off. Finally, there is the beloved and honoured Linda. She has been tending the team's bar (located in the locker room) for ages. The rookies ensure that the heavy physical labour is done for her and that any guests treat her with respect. After all, Linda will still be there long after we are all gone.

Winnipeg Aurora Aurora

karlssens · 01-31-2023, 02:18 PM

Code:
Written Task: What special conditions do you want in your players contract? Is there a special snack that has to be in your locker stall every morning? A specific type of coffee stocked in the machine? A certain way the trainer must tape your stick or you'll throw a tantrum and quit? Tell me about what special requirements if any your player wants in their contract and why. (150+ words)

Oskar is a simple man. He likes to score goals and make bone crushing hits. But his appetite off the ice is anything but simple. As part of his entry level contract with the San Francisco Pride he made several specific clauses for when he's eventually called up. The first one was that his favorite German cracker brand "Reisefieber" be available in the snack bar for pre and post game gnoshing. The crackers are particularly delicious in the morning with a fresh cup of coffee which brings us to his second request, an on site barista to brew coffee for the team. It turns out several of the players had similar demands so this one was an easy one for management to fulfill to satisfy several players on the team. Lastly, Oskar is a creature of habit and enjoys going about his day in a specific way, especially on game day. Each morning starts with a light breakfast of eggs and toast, followed by a brief training session and then a nap. Post nap he likes to consume a protein rich meal and then finish it off with some Reisefieber and coffee. The Pride training staff realized this and set up an omelette bar for the youngster on game days.

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