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*leviadan* · 02-14-2023, 06:18 PM

Burlok's personal assistant would primarily be:

- A potato peeler
- A dish washer
- A driver because driving sucks
- And someone that will make sure his dog is never alone because he loves his dog and wants her to be perfectly looked after even when he's off in another city playing hockey

Pay is 200k/year.

Ricer13 · 02-14-2023, 07:40 PM

Have you ever watched suits? Well my personal assistant needs to be like Donna. They need to know exactly what I need done before I even know that it needs to be done. They will not be paid hourly but will be paid salary at 60k per year while in the SMJHL. Once I move up it’ll be renegotiated.

*WithTheMoose* · 02-14-2023, 11:09 PM

Pengu has all the personal assistants. he has recruited his fellow penguins to regularly bring and feed him all of the yummy fishes. Naturally he also pays them in only fish. Its what makes the penguin world go round.

***MikeLiut*** · 02-14-2023, 11:45 PM

Hey kid, you want a job? Yeah, you do. Look, you just have to make sure that this woman over there does not fight with spectators, does not bring a bear to the arena and you will have to make sure she does not spend all her money on borscht. Not Porsche, borscht. Pay is a season ticket for the games.

*RashfordU* · 02-15-2023, 12:53 AM

Fetch Shawarma on a regular occurrence
Alternatively be able to make quality shawarma
Have access to Shawarma if the previous two dont work
Willing to pay top price for Shawarma

Icebear32 · 02-15-2023, 01:40 AM

This role in purely commision based. Help me make money and you make money. Line up those endorsements baby. We about to get rich! Chaa ching!

**OrbitingDeath** · 02-15-2023, 06:20 AM

My personal assistent won't have to do much, i rather control things myself rather than depend on others. So the assistent is just there whenever i want someone to watch tv shows with. I wont pay much, but my company is priceless right?

***TheSparkyDee*** · 02-15-2023, 10:20 AM

My personal assistant would be the best! I would be able to have him or her bring me a bottle of vodka anytime I asked for it.

27 words

***Acsolap*** · 02-15-2023, 11:35 AM

Kirkbys personal assistant will be required to make sure that his house is kept in good order while he is away on road games. Specifically making sure everything is clean and tidy and that the fridge is packed with his favourite food and beer. Pay TBD on application

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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By-Tor · 02-15-2023, 11:59 AM

-Ability to obtain food within 5 minutes
-Knowledge of every SHL Champion and their series winning tactics
-Expert level knowledge in TPE gain and distribution
-Masters Degree

Hourly Pay: $0.99

Credit to enigmatic, Merica, tweedledunn, and jaypc8237 for sigs

Z-Whiz · 02-15-2023, 12:09 PM

My personal assistant will be expected to work very early hours in the morning. The exact time will vary with the sunrise as I will need them to pick the worms from the dirt right as the sun breaches the coastline. They will need to have an affinity for getting dirty and being up early.

Vulfzilla · 02-15-2023, 12:33 PM

-Boil Water for me every morning by 6am
- Open the spice/flavor packet and pour it in me
-Boil my noodles
-Wait 4 minutes
-Stir

3 times a day.

12 bucks per serving, but you get to use the company car.

**RomanesEuntDomus** · 02-15-2023, 01:16 PM

My personal assistant would mostly be busy with day-to-day stuff, organizing groceries, booking some housekeeping and especially making sure that there is good and healthy food available at all time, not just for the main meals but as quick snacks as well.

Pay is a flat 20 bucks an hour with a significant bonus for every new idea that improves my quality of life.

*Keven* · 02-15-2023, 01:36 PM

Role requirements:
- Stand in a net and let me score on you whenever I need an ego boost

Pay:
- $1,000,000 SHL dollars per hour. $50,000 less for every shot you save

*Zerg* · 02-15-2023, 02:30 PM

Personal assistant is needed to keep goalie equipment except mask clean. Must have reduced sense of smell. Must be citizen of Poland or of France, as any other citizenship is bad luck. Must be willing to work without using bleach-based products, as bleach is bad luck. Must refrain from consuming pucks, as anyone other than myself eating pucks is bad luck.

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