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Crazylemire · 12-01-2023, 03:48 AM

Well for Durkburg it's got too be by throwing them off of there game completely and doing anything and everything possible too taught and intagous the opposing teams players before the game too throw them off there game and keep it calm cool and collected out on the ice when they might take a penalty or too in relation I would also try too figure out where there houses are when I'm in there city too send my brothers out too go blast there horns down there streets in middle of night or go light fireworks over there houses on game nights maybe toss and egg or 2 at them after they take there wheels off the rides that easy too get off and leave the rest there too make the enemy find the ride. people are doing anything for a upper hand and Durkburg is no better or worse than the rest of them with this kind of stuff

***CapnCooper*** · 12-01-2023, 09:52 AM

Texas has been in the process of a rebuild since S64 or S65. Since then we've been putting in a lot of work rebuilding the roster and drafting a new core out of the S67, S68 and S69 draft classes. Over that time we've had some lows but we've also had some highs. We've shared our journey with some veteran players like @raymond3000 Andrea Kvalheim, @Ohtaay Theo Kondos and @leviadan Burlok Sulfurgold and have had the amazing opportunity to share the ice with them as they hit big milestones like 1K points as well as league leading games played and so much more. But now it's finally time for the new core roster to shine. This off season Texas went out and brought in some big guns in @artermis Petr Svoboda and @Pickle Juice and already have the best Defensive roster in the league. The Renegades are looking to complete the plan of the rebuild and start being contenders. The window is wide open and we're ready to win! We won't forget the hard trail behind us and the history of the winning culture Texas once was.

Also, DAD is our Captain. Was that the prompt? I don't know anymore. Go Texas.

oknom · 12-01-2023, 10:08 AM

**esilverm** · 12-01-2023, 10:55 AM

The panthers are going to win the cup because they obviously should. I mean what do you get when you take a panther and give it a cup. You get a panther with a cup. It is that simple. With the best players in the league (personality ranked) it is likely that they will be hungry for a win and no that isn't their name. Hi hungry i'm dad. They are hungry for the cup because it is theirs to claim after this long and stressful rebuild, which is what I call the times when my bud reeb got illed and gave it to the rest of us. Jokes aside this is a season of promise to a team that has been making a name for themselves after a disappointing slump. Which is what I call the entirety of community season 4. Anyway if some of these jokes probably made you chuckle or even exhale through your nose, I take it as a win.

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Kraken

Special thanks to Blitz, jhockey, Ragnarr, and sulo for the gorgeous sigs <3

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jbay7 · 12-01-2023, 12:00 PM

Buffalo will certainly win the cup this season. The Stampede are going to run all over the competition. They simply cannot be stopped. This one is over, put it on ice. This team features a juggernaut of an offense that has consistently put up monster numbers season after season. Buffalo has also ranked amongst the best defensive teams in the league. And with cup winner Casey Fantobens in goal, they are always a threat to steal a game even when the rest of the team is having an off day. Offense, defense, goalie. Check, check, and check. As for Jarrod Lakemore, he was never a big fan of facial hair, but after several seasons of playoff beards, it's starting to grow on him. No longer a young, blue eyes rookie, Lakemore has several seasons under his belt now and is a seasoned veteran who always keeps his cool. Because of all of the fans in Buffalo. So chalk it up, this one's in the bag. (167 words)

honey · 12-01-2023, 12:40 PM

Im going to be honest, I don't really understand these prompts. But Bog Damsel does understand the beautiful act of sabotage - and would do so expertly to QCC, her personal arch-rival and division rival of the Crows. The easiest method would be dulling their skates so that they looked ridiculous on the ice, but that's a problem that comes with an easy solution. If you really want to ensure that they lose and have to face the agony of a golfing match, then you need to be more creative. She'd start by greasing up the pucks with her swamp muck, increasing the chance of them flying loose and giving her an opening to (gently) slam QCC players against the glass as hard as she can. Beyond that, some stress microfractures in their sticks that lead to less reliability and additional goop inside of helmets or gloves to try and make sure things were as uncomfortable as possible should go a long way. idk man this prompt isnt vibing with me.

***Benpachi*** · 12-01-2023, 01:04 PM

Task 1, Written Task

Obviously, the Kelowna Knights are going to defy any and all expectations and win the Cup this season. Why? Well I have no good, or even compelling, arguments to make in their favour beyond that they're my team and I'm sure I'll find a reason before I finish writing this PT.

As a dad joke aside, what did the sea say to the beach?
- Nothing, it just waved.

Let's look at the upside for the Kelowna Knights this season. They have a top 4 D corps capped out, and a strong spine for their Forward group, with Activity Check, Daniel Durkburg, and Rodrigo Banes all high TPE forwards, with solid two-way games.

Where the optimism starts to fall apart, however, is looking at the wings. Kelowna, at the time of writing, only has one winger who has earned over 400 TPE. Hopefully the strong play of their Centers can carry some of the load.

Their goalie, Five-hole Sieve, was 5th in the league in saves last season, with 1617, and managed to post 3 shutouts, despite being 4th in Shots Faced. If the Knights can shore up their defensive game and reduce the load on Sieve, he should be able to return the favour with a much more impressive statline.

Overall Outlook:
Optimism: 5/10
Hope: 11/10

MMFLEX · 12-01-2023, 01:07 PM

ISFL Affiliate

***Figgy*** · 12-01-2023, 03:05 PM

Option 2

Well if it came down to a one game decision winner moves on, and one goes golfing, there will no choice but to sabotage those Vancouver Whiners Whalers chances. I think you have to go deep into bowls of the arena to cause the most damage, do I damage the Ice Plant, to ruin the quality of the ice? No that is too dangerous, but how about dosing their water/bio steel with a liquid laxitive. That is the way I would go about things, they would barely notice a change in the taste and it would wreak havoc on that dressing room. Between shifts players would be running to the washroom constantly and would be lethargic and sore, which would definitley go long ways towards giving the Aramada the upper hand and the chance to win the game. That is how I would go about sabotaging their season.

Credit to Ragnar and Enigmatic for the great Signatures

***liebolda*** · 12-01-2023, 03:19 PM

When Adam Liebold is asked what his plan is to win the cup his answer is a quick "win more games than all the other teams". It is simple we will have a box in the area where the local dads can come to watch the hockey games. What the dads will not know is that we will have a Platoon spy in the room recording all the tips and comments that they have. This will be recorded and incorperated into the game plan for the next games. All the "you've gotta get that puck there son" and 'Dump the puck" will be noted and we will be relayed down to the bench to the coaching staff. Everytime "SHOOT! SHOOT The Puck!" is exclaimed by the dad's the players will hear about it on the bench and the ride home from the rink. They will use the time on the bus ride back from the games to give thier post game feedback to the players too.

Bongo · 12-01-2023, 03:36 PM

Written Task: Describe how your team is going to win the cup this season, because obviously they are. Include at least one dad joke.

The Atlanta Inferno's Players Association had met in Berlin this past Saturday, at an Atlanta Inferno conference, to discuss and explore different strategies and methodologies on how exactly to win a cup. Upon brainstorming, @micool132 recommended that we outsource our knowledge and attempt to speak with other teams' players unions and workshop how exactly the Atlanta Inferno can win a cup. @micool132 suggested possibly meeting with these teams over a few drinks, in order to lower their inhibitions. Perhaps they could show or tell us their secrets.

We first hit up the Hamilton Steelhawks players union. After a few whisky sours, the executives in this storied Franchise informed us to focus on Cup Windows and really commit to the cause. "It's no good to half approach things, so go all in, and be cut throat - trade away your picks for prime talent. Take advantage of everyone and everything". @micool132 vigorously took notes. "It's a good thing we got him a little buzzed first!" he exclaimed.

Next, we met with the Edmonton Blizzard's players union. This team finally defied the odds and won a Challenge Cup - their perception was very valuable to us. We poured up some old fashions with a splash of grand marnier, and they told us their top secret. "If you give up too early, you're never going to make it. Patience is key - you may take a while to get over that hump, but it'll be well worth it. If you keep going deep, and have a good thing going, trust the process". @micool132 took notes once again. His plan worked - we were getting one step closer.

Next, we decided to meet with the Montreal Patriotes. @micool132 made some small talk, and then went to pour up some Belgian Moons, but we couldn't drink it because they didnt have any cups!

*puolivalmiste* · 12-01-2023, 03:48 PM

Option 1: Kari Mänty during his short SMJHL career

Rangerjase · 12-01-2023, 03:50 PM

In typical fashion Nash is always one of the bigger jokesters in the locker room. It’s very easy for him to come up with pranks for his teammates but when he was dared to do something to Buffalo’s biggest rival that would determine who made the playoffs this season. It was a super game on. We were playing at home so it was very easy to stake out where our rivals were going to be holed up for the night before the game. Nash slept all day long and got a group of howling pomskies and huskies to join him in doing their best to keep the other team awake all night long. He also made sure to hide and bury as many hockey pucks as he could find before the othe teams practice so they were not able to practice their puck handling. Last but not least, the good ol’ stinkbomb in the equipment room overnight so the opposing team had trouble playing in their own clothes. Its safe to say Buffalo was able to make the playoffs.

*Pyro182* · 12-01-2023, 04:23 PM

PT Pass

zeagle1 · 12-01-2023, 04:47 PM

Jiggle E Puff is definitely not a master of sabotage or tom foolery but he will do his best to trick the Philadelphia Forge players. The most obvious thing to do is to subtly use Sing on the goalie right when another Inferno player winds up to shoot, putting him to sleep so the puck goes into the goal. Defying physics, Jiggle E. Puff can learn both fire punch and flamethrower. Jiggle would use these moves to sneakily melt patches of ice around the rink, causing the puck to slow down if it hits the standing water and the players to trip due to the added friction. Alternatively, he could use Icy Wind to freeze player's skates to the ice, rendering them immobile. His backup backup plan would be to cut the brake lines on the Forge team bus, but even in the pokemon world, murder is illegal and Coach Hotdog nixed that idea.

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