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ml002 · 04-25-2020, 02:25 AM

The Toronto North Stars Head GM has a grudge against myself and my agent. He refuses to listen to reason. He constantly cites my draft position as Mr. Irrelevant at all times he can and even puts it on official team paper work. In my next contract I will be demanding the Mr. Irrelevant as a term be banned from the team and for him to treat me with respect. It's beyond me why I fell that far, and while I appreciate the team drafting me, I don't like the toxic atmosphere they are indoctrinating into the culture here. Even my future teammates are starting to refer to me as a bust. Despite my draft position, I rank as a first round pick in terms of TPE and I will demand to be treated as such in my next contract. With all that in mind I will be taking the minimum again #StarGang.

Credit to Copenhagen, Wasty, FlappyGiraffe, InciteHysteria, and caltroit_red_flames
[Image: MM4nqx6.png]

lilstifler · 04-25-2020, 05:05 AM

This is nice Point Task, because my contract ends after season. Well, let me think, I want new contract with my team Hamilton Steelhawks and I think we will extend my contract. First of all, I'm active, and do all Point tasks, secondly I have 26 points now, and I think that is good for second year player, and I hadn't have full first season and I'm now at 347TPE. I think it is the biggest reason to extend contract. Also yes, maybe I'm not as active as I was before I started working. I'm good teammate, and I like to win, not only to earn individual points.
And I'm Latvian, and latvians are cool people, okay, there is some shitty latvians but I'm friendly. Amm and salary, I don't know, maybe 5mil per season. I would be happy about 3 year contract and 5 - 7 mil per season. I know that is big contract but I think I deserve it.

***JKortesi81*** · 04-25-2020, 10:39 AM

The absolute best part about being the player – GM of the New Orleans Specters is that whenever I decide I want something; I just get it. I’m at a great advantage over the other players in this league when it comes to this aspect. Let’s not forget, I also own the team too. So when I wanted to buy a gorgeous old plantation house in New Orleans? You bet your ass the Specters paid for that. It was a necessary purchase after all, as we needed an off site HQ. I’m well versed in our finances, and I can assure that if New Orleans has done one thing better in our existence than lose Game 7s, its make money. We’ve yet to be anywhere close to losing money on a season, so I know the team can afford my extra goodies once in a while. I think that with my eventual retirement closer than ever, I might work in a yacht in one of my next contracts. I’m willing to bet the team agrees to it. (176)

*thedangazone* · 04-25-2020, 11:25 AM

Well contracts are an interesting notion as a general manager of the New Orleans Specters and it is usually even better when I can set my own contract. That being said, as GM I tend to try to help the team as much as possible, however I can. That usually ends up with me taking whatever the minimum contract is for me at the time, like most GM's in the league we do what we can for our team. I think next contract will probably end up being the same but since I'm Co-GM maybe I do negotiate with Joe on some bonuses based on either performance, or something along those lines. An old friend of mine in Roman Augustus used to have a parm clause when he was in Calgary and that sounds like a possibility. Maybe with a gumbo clause or beignet clause for every goal scored. Either way I think I'll be getting fatter than I ever was.

161 words

PremierBromanov · 04-25-2020, 12:34 PM

Tom Fiddler's contract negotiations will go as planned. He hopes. Nearing the end of his contract, he would be close to 1,000 TPE. Not exactly top of his class, but effective nonetheless. He will be seeking 6 to 7 million, for at least 5 seasons. Although, a longer contract would mean confidence in the cuda and confidence in himself from the cuda. A contract like that could be team friendly in no time. Why does Tom Fiddler feel he has leverage? Well, he's only about 820 TPE right now, should be an easy 900 by start of season. He's more dedicated now than ever. More than that, Fiddler is the type of player that can play in nearly all positions, as he has done for the last 50 games. Fiddler has been deployed against the leagues top teams and has turned out....fair. A minus 22, not great. the Cudas are one of the worst teams in the league right now, but still middle of the road for his team. 20 points rookie year is fine too. Hard to pick up points when you're deployed as a backchecking forward. And truth be told, about 100 or more TPE separates him from other rookies, and not in the direction you'd hope. So by the end of contract, he's hoping for a raise and a chance to play with the cuda for a long time. Or at least, not worry about negotiating another contract for a long time

CFJ · 04-25-2020, 12:49 PM

I know my role on this team as one of the elite shutdown defencemen in the league leading the BOOM charge in the Calgary Dragons D-Core. There are guys like Driftwood, Smeb, Kennedy, Vrzala that will probably earn the big bucks on this team on the d-core. But the incentives is where Prince Devitt would make money. A Base Salary of 3 mill would suffice, but the incentives will be if I win the Cup it would be a 2 mill bonus, a Presidents Trophy win would be a one mill bonus. And a hits lead bonus would be a 3 mill bonus, as in laying the body is what Prince Devitt where he makes his money each and every game, sending a message to each and every team in the SHL. And also a women bonus as Prince Devitt is always getting around with the women on them streets.

Thanks to prettyburn, TML, Carpy, JNH, Jepox, Engi, Karey, Flappy, Skolpadder, Mook, DollarAndADream, Smirnov and Toe for the sigs.

Code:
Crossfit's First Career SHL Goal, 4. Manhattan Rage , Crossfit Jesus 1 (Pedro Sarantez, Nucky Toohoots) at 5:51

Code:
Devitt's First Career SHL Goal, 5. Calgary Dragons , Prince Devitt 1 (Barry Batsbak 21, Mike Izzy 14) at 10:43

***frithjofr*** · 04-25-2020, 02:05 PM

My next contract would, ideally, be 100% incentives based. 100k per shot blocked, 100k per point above in +/- and -50k per missed shot. If I perform my duties as a defenseman well and take a few dozen pucks off the ol' chinny chin-chin I'll get paid. If I turn into a useless piece of shit and don't do my job, then I don't get paid. Blocked shots are a good measure of what I do because, legally, I'm not allowed to leave the defensive zone. Coach says that if he sees me trying to shoot the puck he's gonna fine me anyway, but now it'll be a contractual obligation. This keeps me incentivized to block a lot of shots (with my face) and keeping them out of goal while also keeping me honest. No wasted shots. Pass to somebody who does better with the puck.

With my current stats for this year, 91 shots blocked, 58 missed shots, and +12, I would have netted a cool 7.4 million.

JSS331 · 04-25-2020, 02:46 PM

PBE Cross claim

Jenny · 04-25-2020, 04:18 PM

I'm not gonna lie, I left team-friendly negotiations behind me at the end of Landvik's career. She was a career Wolfpack who wasn't going anywhere and was happier for it, so she was full hometown discount material until I needed to save money for Olivier. Even so, my ass is half-inactive and the price of what activity I do put into this site is the money to pay for it. That's especially true to keep me around as part of the Tampa Bay Barracuda; the team's a really great bunch of people and even though the locker room is a little quiet, I enjoy it there. The team was really showing promise for a bit, but things are... certainly going a little downhill. As one of the higher TPE players on the team, I know my value, and I'll definitely negotiate for it. Because, again, I need to pay for training and I refuse to write media. It's not that deep.

*kenvald* · 04-25-2020, 06:14 PM

Even though I have yet to play a single game for the New England Wolfpack it is pretty clear to me that I should be given a good salary bump when my current contract ends. My presence alone has made a huge different in the team locker room and I'm not even bragging when I say that a big part of the team's success this season is because of me. They all know that I will soon come up to the SHL and play with them and they are looking to make a good impression, which they have been doing a good job of so far.

Since my sheer presence in the team has elevated it so, of course I should get more than the puny three and a half million on my current contract. I believe I'm worth something close to 8x8. And I believe both Ace and Hotdog see that too. So I should not have too much trouble in the negotiation room come season 55.

***Ace*** · 04-25-2020, 06:58 PM

I am going to treat this as if I were looking at things from a SMJHL perspective, as I am the GM for the SHL side of things. From a SMJHL perspective, in your own words Fuzz, I faced the most shots in the entire league, and can still boast the 3rd best SV% league wide. This is a clear indicator of my superior prowess as a goaltender. I don't have sheltered shots against, and my stamina is tested on a nightly basis. I endure, I excel, and I try to give the Carolina Kraken a win on a nightly basis. There isn't another goalie in our franchise that could do what I do, and not many around the league that could either. With this in mind, I'd demand a minimum contract as I am a team player and not selfish. I do demand however that I receive royalties on ever Eller jersey purchased in the Kraken's Grasp team store.

BrewskyBoy · 04-25-2020, 08:17 PM

Noah ain't about the money, but there are a couple of requests that he would like to have built into his contract. The first - no cheese allowed in the team locker room. Cheese is nasty, and he does not want to be subjected to the abomination while in the locker room preparing for a game or decompressing. Cheese is acceptable in other team facilities such as the cafeteria, but the locker room should be off limits. Secondly, he'd demand that the team starts keeping yellow powerade in stock. They have blue and red, but they do not regularly keep the yellow powerade in hand. This is quite frankly a deal breaker for Noah, and absolutely needs to be addressed. Lastly, he would like a performance bonus of some dollar amount per shot blocked. it takes a toll on a player to consistently get in front of a puck going 90 mph, and we believe it's only fair to give a monetary bonus for each shot blocked. These terms can be discussed in greater detail at the next contract negotiation.

sailingdrumstick · 04-25-2020, 09:14 PM

Listen, buddy. You know goddamn well what I do for this team, and this city. The boys love me,and I put up points continuously. You want the boys sexually frustrated thinking about sex and not hockey? Fine, let me walk, but if you want a guy who gives it all out on the ice and then takes the boys out to get fucked up and laid then pony up some cash big boy. You know yourself morale in the dressing room is a major factor to success, and there is no morale booster like winning a game, pumping some lines up your nose and then going out with the boys until 5am to see what kind of trouble you can find. Forget the cash, let's talk perks. I need a GUY, don't fucking pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about, just line one up. I need a penthouse suite rented for me right downtown in the bar district, the boys will love that. If you can get me these two things let me know and we can talk numbers.

JayWhy · 04-25-2020, 10:29 PM

Listen here, as the general manager and the player -- I am offended with this point task. Don't you give people any crazy ideas!

Now the reasonable and logical clause to request in my contract is pretty simple, in that I will require that at least twice per week we have spaghetti for dinner. I don't mean that ridiculous excuse of "spaghetti" that was actually Kraft Dinner. I mean, homemade, delicious, sauce with pasta and a whole ass loaf of bread because I'm a big boi who eats whole ass loaves of bread with pasta. I am saying I need to have pasta all the time. I need to be sure to get carbs as frequently as humanly possible. Will this make Kayla happy? No. Would this make just about anyone other than me happy? No. However, this is my contract, and this is my demand. I need more carbs. Plain and simple. Give me pasta. Thank you.

An old man's dream ended. A young man's vision of the future opened wide. Young men have visions, old men have dreams. But the place for old men to dream is beside the fire.

Thanks to Jackson, Copenhagen, and Harry Hans!

GOING DOWN IN STYLE. TOAST4LYFE

***Faelax*** · 04-25-2020, 10:57 PM

Besides the obvious 10x10 that I will get, because I deserve it, I have a couple of other requests of the Buffalo GMs. Obviously this will include a no trade clause, since I am far too important of a prospect to even think about trading. Secondly, I will need WBF to buy me a new stick before every game. I can’t run the risk of having mine break in game, that would be tragic. Third, I expect to see my pre-game buffalo wings in my locker when I arrive at the rink for every game. How do they expect me to carry the team on an empty stomach? The last thing I expect is a private suite in the arena for me to give out to my friends for every home game. I am tired of buying tickets for my friends and family to come see me, so I expect for the team to start taking care of this expense.

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