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adamantium · 10-22-2018, 11:37 AM

Code:
[u]Task 1[/u]: In an effort to excite the millennials and urban street youth, the SHL wants a hip/hop promotion for this years challenge cup! Using the youtube beat above, create a 150 word or more Rap/R&B jam about the championship series!  The song must have at least 1 verse and 1 chorus and include players from either or both teams.

VERSE
Ay, yuh
We in the place
Jason Visser in your motherfuckin' face
Beaujeaux B got the net on lock, taking up that space
Jon Ross, fuck yo bitch, then he go to win that cup
Volks a motherfuckin' legend, raise your fucking glasses up
Zach Evans on the line, says he knows he's got your number
Gonna throw that fuckin' body, gonna put you fuckin' under
In a coma, Dani Forsberg layin' at your bed
Cause he cares 'bout yo fuckin' health, he was worried you were dead
Honestly,the people on these team feel like they fuckin' care
Even still, out on the ice you bet they won't be playin fair
We got West Kendall, Winnipeg, in a showdown to the death
On a mission just to prove who's the motherfuckin' best

CHORUS
Another day, another dollar, another fuckin' reason to get out of your bed
Put some fuckin' hockey in your motherfuckin' head
Put some fuckin' hockey in your motherfuckin' head
Yeah, you know these boys are out here making sure that you can sleep when you're dead
Put some PRIMETIME hockey in your motherfuckin' head
Put some PRIMETIME hockey in your motherfuckin' head

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Code:
[u]Task 2[/u]: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

[Image: police_arresting_man_police_car.jpg]

Beaujeaux Biscuit (@.bojo) was arrested this weekend for public indecency following a drunken incident at a Bojangles' Famous Chicken 'N Biscuits. Onlookers say that Biscuit was seen stripping naked and french kissing one of Bojangles' famous buttery biscuits, while chanting about his recent Challenge Cup win. When police got to the seen, they claimed Biscuit had started flirting with passersby, quoted as saying "Hey, come on, I"m the Challenge Cup winner? How about you and me get some chicken and then head back to my place?" Police ordered Biscuit to redress himself, to which the West Kendall goaltender shouted "FUCK YOU PIGS" and took off in a sprint towards town centre. When police caught up with him, he'd fallen headfirst into a fountain and was splashing about like a fish out of water. Officers say they eventually got him back into his street clothes and into the squad car.

The SHL issued a statement later that day: "While we condemn the actions of Beaujeaux Biscuit and what he did, it was technically the offseason and it was technically fucking hilarious. We will not be issuing a suspension over the incident."

Biscuit was released this past Monday to uproarious applause and laughter from his teammates.

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[u]Task 3[/u]: The SHL Network is in need of an interview to broadcast during the challenge cup finals and you have been assigned the task!  Contact a player in the upcoming series and have them answer [u]3[/u] questions (player or series related) Let them know that each answer must be a minimum of [u]20[/u] words for you to get credit. The player you interview must also be tagged.

Folks, I'm here with Jon Ross (@JR95) after their game four win, Jon, let me ask...

What were your personal goals going into this finals series? Did you meet them?
Winning a cup is always your goal when you make it to the finals but when you play such a talented team like WPG you have to temper expectations a little. I think going in we really just wanted to prove that our regular season standings didnt mean anything, especially with some severe strategy mistakes that were only noticed 40 games in.

West Kendall was hot all playoffs long. What do you think was the reason?
Our star players have been playing like star players, simple as that. Between almost our entire top 6 being ppg in playoffs and Bojo standing on his head, we had all cylinders firing and it showed in the results.

What was the most difficult challenge in facing off against Winnipeg?
Honestly the most difficult challenge is mentally. They are such a deep team, deeper than us in fact that you're never sure that your lines and strats are gonna be enough to beat the raw talent.

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[u]Task 4[/u]: Radio@SHL is in need of some mini podcasts for a pre show analysis of the series! You can work alone in a 3 minute podcast or with a partner for a 5 minute show. if you choose to do a 2 man mini-pod it will be required that each member contribute their fair share to the discussion topics below.

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[u]Task 5[/u]: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers!  Pick 3 of the topics below to write about!  Each topic is worth [u]1[/u] TPE. Each answer must be [u]50[/u] words or more.

What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?
My immediate standout is Karsten Kadinger, who's a younger defenceman trying to prove to himself and the folks across the world that he's got what it takes to hang with the big boys. Realistically, Kadinger just needs to play his game and play it well, so that he doesn't do something that might jeopardize West Kendall's chances at winning this cup. But that in mind, if Kadinger feels comfortable in his role, what better a stage to play flashy and make a name for yourself than the Challenge Cup? We're looking for goals, assists, and playing the body from this guy to prove that he's the all-around offensive-defensive dynamo that West Kendall needs for the future.

Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?
West Kendall, absolutely. Winnipeg's already got the reputation of Winners, but West Kendall has always been a bit of a wild card when it comes to the finals. Winning a cup here would finally move West Kendall away from the label of inconsistency that they've garnered over the last few years here. S41 was a great start, but winning again two seasons later would be an amazing way to prove that they're here to win cups and not be inconsistent in the post-season.

Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?
Like I said earlier, seeing that Winnipeg has the reputation of being the top dog all the time, it's clear that they're the favorite here, just by numbers and history alone. They have a stacked offensive machine, their defensive corps is talented but shallow, and their netminding is world-class. West Kendall is the underdog here, though their performance in this post-season is nothing short of impressive. Getting to the finals in 11 games is no small feat, but they're still an inconsistent bet. There's no guarantee they won't choke the finals away here. But they face a similar problem to the Winnipeg team. Stacked offense, shallow defensive corps, and world-class netminding. It's an even matchup that's sure to be fun to watch.

sigs by me bitch

caltroit_red_flames · 10-22-2018, 12:03 PM

Code:
Monday

Task 1: In an effort to excite the millennials and urban street youth, the SHL wants a hip/hop promotion for this years challenge cup! Using the youtube beat above, create a 150 word or more Rap/R&B jam about the championship series!  The song must have at least 1 verse and 1 chorus and include players from either or both teams.

Order of song: Verse 1 - Verse 2 - Chorus - Verse 3 - Chorus - Final Verse

Chorus:
W K P
Visser got nothin on me
Dildo and Caelum be rockin yo body
Jets on the downfall yo goalies is shoddy

Verse 1:
Ladies and gents just sit down and shut up
Platoon in this house and we here for the cup
Nah you can have it cause we got enough
Don't even matter cause ya'll kids is muff

Verse 2:
Psych motherfuckers we robbing you blind
Schroder to Light and the puck hit the twine
Jets outta gas they can't even keep up
Steal your woman and tell her whassup

Verse 3:
Bojo the Biscuit the chicks scarf him down
Vyskoc the dildo just give him the crown
Schroder the German he'll shatter your dreams
Platoon in this bitch, the team with bird memes

Final Verse:
Day of the dead
Ya'll gonna feel the dread
Lay in yo bed
Your bitches given me head
Clipping yo wings
Jets gonna feel the stings
Tears in yo eyes
Jets falling out of the skies
Told you before I'ma tell you again
That cup is ours, rattled your cages amen

Code:
Tuesday

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official response of the league.

Eggy steps up to the podium at the press release and begins to speak:

"Ladies and gentlemen it is my displeasure to tell each of you than an incident occurred wherein Gary Grease was charged with a DUI as well as identity theft following a Halloween party that took place in West Kendall. He was found wearing a Tinky Winky costume. We are a league that promotes having fun and being a laid back, but this is not something the league can condone. This is embarrassing for the league, Winnipeg and Mr. Grease himself. These players, especially ones in the championships of the playoffs, are looked up to by fans and especially younger ones. This is not the sort of role model that a young person needs. We have decided to fine Gary Grease and suspend him for 5 games in the coming pre season. We have offered and encouraged Gary Grease to enroll in AA and assuming he takes part of it in good faith we are willing to remove the suspension from his record and allow him to play in the entirety of the pre season."

[Image: zhft9.jpg]

Code:
Wednesday

Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers!  Pick 3 of the topics below to write about!  Each topic is worth [u]1[/u] TPE. Each answer must be [u]50[/u] words or more.

- Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?

- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why? 

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

- Who has been there teams surprise player in the post season?

- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?

Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?
I could go with the sentimental approach and talk about who I want to win, but really it has to be Jason Visser just based on his regular season. 74 points is just crazy, really a cut above the rest of the league. He's been dragging the squad everywhere whether they help him or not. A player with a season that incredible absolutely deserves to be a champion this season.

What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?
Troy McClure III. As a rookie I think he had one of the best seasons a 3rd pairing guy can have. Not putting up a ton of points, only five assists, which is expected. But He was plus three and really laid the body on opposing players. If he can continue to be stalwart on the blue line as a rookie you might see him as one of the more underrated players in the league.

Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?
The favorite has to be Winnipeg. Their team is so talented top to bottom and they've been destroying other teams. West Kendall is definitely not a team to take lightly, but if I'm choosing between these two in vacuum it has to be Winnipeg. Visser, Bearss, Evans, Volkova and Jesus up front is a ton of firepower and I think offense wins championships in this league.

Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?
Winnipeg. West Kendall just won a championship in S41 and their window is still open. Meanwhile Winnipeg hasn't won since S37 meaning they aren't really looking like a dynasty but rather two separate iterations of the Jets that happened to both win cups. West Kendall still has a season or two after this to win again and look like they're becoming a dynasty.

Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?
Ludwing Koch Schroder, Zach Evans and of course Jason Visser. Koch Schroder has been West Kendall's go to defenseman all season and the way he plays the game is clinical. That man can run a defense and a power play greater than anyone I've ever seen. Meanwhile Visser and Bearss are the most dynamic duo in the SHL. The two seem to score at will, I'm not sure anyone can stop them no matter how hard they try.

Code:
Thursday

Task 6: In wake of the success of 'Gritty' the philadelphia Flyers mascot.. the SHL has asked its graphics department to come up with an official S43 challenge cup mascot!  Design a Mascot with the characteristics of both the West Kendall Platoon and Winnipeg Jets franchises! The Mascot should have a name, the colors of both teams involved in the series and at least 1 special feature which the fans associate it with.

Ladies and gentlemen say hello Jay Jay the Winged Pilot! Jay Jay is a lovable jet pilot with wings! Watch out though, even if he isn't flying a jet he can turn mean and use the missiles on his wings to blow is enemies away! Just don't make him angry.

[Image: r2mN2ve.png]

Code:
Friday

Task 9: We are just an hour away from the start of the challenge cup finals and you have been informed that Katy Perry has the gout and can not perform during the 1st intermission... YIKES!!!!!! ... to make matters worse Eggy and HO are not around to approve more money for a different act!  You have been chosen to take on the unenviable task of putting together something which the whole world is about to watch ...with nothing but the 11 dollars in your pocket.

In 150 words or more, explain what you came up with and how will it be implemented. The Plan must include a diagram or picture.

Brady McIntyre has been good friends with a certain Pro Baseball Experience player named Speedy Boi for a number of years now. He also happens to know that Speedy Boi played for the State College Swift Steeds and his biggest fan is none other than Taylor Swift! Speedy Boi happens to owe Brady McIntyre a favor so this seems like the perfect time to use it. One call to Speedy Boi and Taylor Swift is already on her way to West Kendall to perform! The stage is already set up for Katy Perry meaning Taylor can jump right on and be ready without any trouble. The only issue is that now he has to get the "Katy Perry" off of center stage. Luckily if rearrange some of the letters you can make "Taylor" (though it does involve snapping a few of them and taping them together) so that should be close enough. Taylor's helicopter is flying her in on the roof top and dropping her straight onto the stage!

[Image: OV0MG0r.png]

Samsung virtual assistant · 10-22-2018, 01:29 PM

Task 1: In an effort to excite the millennials and urban street youth, the SHL wants a hip/hop promotion for this years challenge cup! Using the youtube beat above, create a 150 word or more Rap/R&B jam about the championship series! The song must have at least 1 verse and 1 chorus and include players from either or both teams.

[video=youtube]www.youtube.com/watch?v=JW9wF78-Sb4&feature=youtu.be[/video]

Ey Ey Ey Ey Ey EY Ey EY

Dicky S with the mic coming up on da challenge cup
steal it from yo hands like a cute lil hammy pup
i know that dont make sense cause birds aint dawgs
but who cares, im back and tonight im a boss

Winnipeg is back, who woulda guessed
Dragons usually eat em and its usually a mess
This time against another team with wings
platoon birds baby and theyre ready to swing

Bojo in the net, big Koch in the back
Platoon baby their defense i stacked
Visser in the front, with Evans on his side
Damn Winnipeg, y'all got some bite.

Crossfit Jesus coming in with like the Hulk
Jon Ross is weak as fuqq and could really use a bulk
Coming in with the camel clutch, holding him down
But wrestling is fake and Alex Light isn't
He scored the winning goal and the jets didnt

Bojo in the net, big Koch in the back
Platoon baby their defense i stacked
Despite Visser in the front, with Evans on his side
Damn Winnipeg, at least yall tried

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

THIS IS AN OFFICIAL STATEMENT OF THE LEAGUE OF THE SIMULATION HOCKEY LEAGUE.

AT 1500 HOURS IT CAME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT A CASE OF ANIMAL ABUSE HAD BEEN COMMITED.
AS THE SIMULATION HOCKEY LEAGUE IS STRICT ON ANIMAL CRUELTY, WITH THERE BEING BRONIES
AT MULTIPLE HIGH LEAGUE POSITIONS, WE CAN NOT LET THIS FLY UNDER THE RADAR.

IT WAS REPORTED THAT CROSSFIT JESUS OF THE WINNIPEG JETS TRIED TO CATNAP PUSHKIN, LOVED CAT AND MASCOT OF THE WEST KENDALL PLATOON.
CROSSFIT JESUS CLIMBED THE 11 FLOOR BUILDING UP TO BEAUJEAUX BUSCUITS HOTEL ROOM IN WINNIPEG, USING LARGE SUCTIONS CUPS ON HIS FEET AND HANDS.
ONCE HE REACHED THE RIGHT FLOOR AND ROOM HE PROCEEDED TO CUT A BIG ROUND HOLE IN A WINDOW USING A DIAMOND DRILL, DRILLING MULTIPLE HOLES
UNTIL HE FINALLY CREATED A PERFECT CIRKLE THAT HE COULD TAKE OFF AND CLIMB THROUGH. AFTER A ROUGH STRUGGLE CAPTURING PUSHKIN WHO FOUGHT BACK,
HE MANAGED TO FINALLY CATCH HIM. BUT NOT BEFORE PUSHKIN HAD ACTIVATED THE EMERGENCY FACETIME CONNECTING HIM TO HIS OWNER. PICTURE ATTACHED BELOW.

[Image: mvdViCZ.png]

THE LEAGUE HAS DECIDED TO GIVE THE FOLLOWING PUNISHMENT TO CROSSFIT JESUS.

-APOLOGIZE TO BOTH PUSHKIN AND HIS OWNER
-PAY FOR PUSHKINS EXCLUSIVE CATFOOD FOR 2 SEASONS

END OF STATEMENT.

Task 4. Podcast

Task 5.

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?

On the one hand i would say that the Winnipeg Jets was the favourites, seeing how strong their roster was. As well as West Kendall Platoons history of choking in the playoffs. On the other hand we have JR as the GM of the West Kendall Platoon now, and he is a simmer in the SMJHL and plays around in STHS a bunch. So that would probably give them the advantage, and evidently it did as they won.

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?

Definitely the West Kendall Platoon, seeing how they've had strong rosters pretty much every season the last 20 seasons and been great in the regular season. However in terms of playoff success the West Kendall Platoon has been absolutely horrible, not amounting too much at all. And so they did, they finally won in, and eevn though theyre still shit, they at least have a cup.

- Who has been there teams surprise player in the post season?

Well, seeing how the stats of every single player in this series is a surprise to me as i dont pay attention to other players in general in this league, i'd have to say Beaujeaux Biscuits .927 save percentage is surprising. The dude is horrible and still he managed to save that high number of shots against him? I call foul play. There has got to be some re-simming involved in this.

Task 9.

Well, it's easy. Dick Skillstedt would just call his long time mentor and friend Robert Andersson, now retired, Hall of Fame goalie of the Minnesota Chiefs. They talk a lot these days and Robert has become sort of a father figure to Dick. But enough about that, Robert Andersson is married to the worldwide famous singer Ariana Andersson-Grande. He knew that Ariana wasn't on tour and that they had nothing special planned. As Robert is now working as an expert he was going to the finals anyway, and after some negotiations she decided to come with and sing the national anthem, as well as acapella versions of 2 of the songs from her latest album. "breatin" and "God is a woman". Ariana is just the cutest alive and everyone will love it. And as for Dicks part in it, he got to keep the 11 dollars and shared a couple of beers with Robert as they watched the smoking hot bombshell that is his wife belt it out on the ice.

[Image: ariana-grande-and-pete-davidson-ice-skat...2018-5.jpg]

[Image: ariana-grande-and-pete-davidson-ice-skat...2018-5.jpg]

Lazyeye · 10-22-2018, 02:23 PM

Task 7:

Sean · 10-22-2018, 04:36 PM

Task 2:
WOAH WOAH WOAH, Troy McClure III was having a bad day after the game 1 loss to the jets and it just got WORSE. While driving home, he was interested in looking at the schematics to his new hot tub jet stream technology and may have gotten a little too excited. The pure class of the idea made McClure III forget he wasn't already relaxing in his summer home in the Cayman Islands. It was too late for Troy before he realized he was driving on the left side of the road and crashed head-on into a police officer!

Press Release:

The Winnipeg Jets are heavily disturbed at the incident involving Troy McClure III in the late evening after game 2. The Abhorrent actions will not go unpunished, and there will be further team-investigation into the incident. As far as we are to understand Mr. McClure III was involved in an accident with a local police officer. Despite the seriousness of the accident, no one involved was injured. The police officer will be given season tickets next year and all charges have been dropped. While some are calling for suspension, we believe Troy feels very sorry for his actions as seen here:

Now to the severe punishment. Troy's rights to the new hot tub schematics will be withheld until they can be used as a negotiating tactic in his next contract. He is very distraught by this, but we need to prove that bad deeds don't go unpunished in Winnipeg.

Task 3:
We have @Troy_McClure03 in for an interview after his incident with the police:

Troy, how are you feeling?
Well, how would you feel if you were just told that your access to new hot tub technology was being withheld until your next contract! I've already demanded a trade, or was it an extension? I'll need to talk to my agent.

Well, now you're down 2 games to none. What's your plan to get back into the series?
We've gotta rough them up. If I leave game 3 under my own will and don't get kicked out of the arena, then I didn't do my job. I want West Kendall to suffer as many head injuries as I have.

Speaking of head injuries, are you okay after that crash?
I'm fine, my coach back home always said we play a little better with a mild concussion, so I must play a lot better with a major one.

Task 4: Podcast

Task 5:
Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?
At the beginning of the playoffs, Winnipeg would have been the clear favourites in this series. Now, it's much more unclear. WKP rolled through 2 difficult opponents in Hamilton and Buffalo, While Winnipeg had a 6 game and 7 game series. I'd still put my money on Winnipeg, but it's much closer than it was 15 games ago.

Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?
Even though West Kendall was the most recent champion between the two teams in the final, I still think it's more important for them to win. Before their S41 win, they hadn't won since S5. A win in this series would help start to build a legacy again in West Kendall instead of giving the impression that their next victory won't be for another 35 seasons.

Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?
The three most dangerous players on the ice are:

Jason Visser
Dani Forsberg
Max Weber

Jason Visser because he is an offensive juggernaut. Anytime he steps onto the ice he can take the puck and put it the top corner or onto someones stick for a wide open shot on goal.

Dani Forsberg is one of the best two-way players in the game. There is no telling how Dani is going to impact the game on a giving night except to say that it's going to happen. Whether it's a big hit or a timely goal Dani is going to sway the tide of this series.

Max Weber is the prototypical number 1 defenseman. An offensive talent that little on the back-end possess, he has the ability to eat up large minutes, and take a toll on the opponents physically.

Task 9:
"Tony! Katy Perry isn't going to be able to go on and there's no one to back her up, what are we going to do?"

I thought about it carefully, I had been planning for this moment all my life, but I couldn't seem so eager, I had to make it look like I was doing them a favour or else they might turn me down.

"I know a couple instruments, but I'm here to support my old friend Troy McClure III, If you really want me to throw something together I guess I could work something out".

The PR rep could see right through my coy attitude, but knowing they were out of options they told me to do what I could.

"Okay, this is it Tony, this is what you've been preparing for all these years" I thought to myself. I quickly ran to my Chevy Malibu and opened the trunk. I didn't forget it, I'd never forget it.

I quickly donned my outfit, still sweaty from the last birthday party I performed at. I ran inside, gave a quick nod to the PR rep who gave me the oddest of looks, but waved me on.

All Bared Witness That Day

(a video is just a whole bunch of moving pictures so this better count Cool

)

EDM All-Time Leader in Goals, Assists and Points

Reynolds · 10-22-2018, 11:00 PM

Task 1:
Jon Ross is the guy who we all cheer for
But with him in the hospital all is lost
Time for the Jets to get back to winning
Which means goals at all costs

Jon Ross is our guy
He got in a crash
But we we still love him
Just like we love M.A.S.H.

The Jets need their old guy
Or they may end up beat
He's like the dad they never had
Except he isn't as neat

Jon Ross is our guy
He got in a crash
But we we still love him
Just like we love M.A.S.H.

Platoon better relax if they think they'll win
Because the Jets don't relax and never sin
The series will be over with a quick four game sweep
So we can all get back to making quantum leaps

Jon Ross is our guy
He got in a crash
But we we still love him
Just like we love M.A.S.H.

Task 2:
It's a shame that Jon Ross is in one of his last seasons in the league. It's a delight that he is in the finals though and we get to see him perform at the highest level. However, just this morning news broke out that Jon Ross was in a car accident. Apparently he drove home drunk the night before after celebrating a victory. It is unclear whether the driver of the other car was also under the influence, but Ross was seen leaving the scene on a stretcher and hasn't been cleared to leave the hospital just yet. This type of incident doesn't bode well for Ross and his teammates who were counting on his big game heroics to come up clutch for them in the finals. The league hasn't commented on the incident but we are sure a suspension is coming for Ross as the league looks very harshly on players who commits crimes such and DUI's.

[Image: b88661293z1_20170326125159_000gt1idpia2-...77x380.jpg]

[Image: b88661293z1_20170326125159_000gt1idpia2-...77x380.jpg]

Task 5:
- Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?
Jon Ross has to be the most deserving in this series of a championship because of his age. He is the oldest player in the series for either squad and he deserves to have a cup before he retires. It also helps that he is well respected around the league.

- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?
It's Troy McClure III's time to shine in this series. He is a young player and coming from movies to hockey is a big step if you suck. Luckily for Troy he doesn't suck and he will probably be the face of the Jets franchise with a solid effort in this series.

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?
The West Kendal Platoon need this championship more than anyone because of where they are. How do you sell hockey games to a demographic that is old and retired? Well you win a cup and you flaunt it in their old faces. Get the walkers and canes ready to celebrate with grandma!

Task 9:
Mattis Enqvist is sad that he won't be playing in the SHL Finals but because of the Katy Perry situation, he now gets his chance! Enqvist goes out and buys about forty red solo cups and the performance of a lifetime is next. Enqvist and his family members who are all there watching some good old fashioned hockey all come down to ice level and each with 8 cups in hand put them on some tables. What we see next is the best display of creativity that we have ever seen. Each cup is filled with different levels of water and the Enqvist family gets started. On cue like the Sound of Music, the blond haired beauties start banging plastic spoons over the cups and making different sounds. They do hit songs from Metallica and Dire Straights and even start playing a Katy Perry song themselves (until security says thats enough).

[Image: 1e3d2a37-ed97-4794-8e24-e0b25e5b1c7a_e3a...1506632529]

[Image: 1e3d2a37-ed97-4794-8e24-e0b25e5b1c7a_e3a...1506632529]

grok · 10-22-2018, 11:05 PM

TASK 2 (150 words)

[Image: 997-porsche-911-turbo-that-crashed-in-is...2421_m.jpg]

Look out, cashier! TMZ got their hands on this photo of a shiny new Porche that missed its parking spot at a Miami gas station. Our crack investigative team found the car was registered to none other than Zach Evans, captain of the Winnipeg Jets! The lone 2AM gas station staffer, our hero of the story, was in a detached outhouse at the time of the accident. Evans was found three blocks away with no signs of injury, and completely unaware of his car's new garage. There were no eyewitnesses to the event, so it looks like Evans might get off scot free for this one. Police are investigating. Let's just hope, for all our sakes, that he didn't hit the poor slurpee machine!

TASK 4

Podcast Link

TASK 5

Quote:What young player has a chance to make a name for themselves in this series? (53 words)

It’s gotta be Troy McClure III. Troy is the youngest player in this series by a country mile and has impressed at the Major Junior level already. He has a crushing defensive mind and can sniff out the back of the net dizzy and blindfolded. Keep an eye on his play this series.

Quote:Who has been their team’s surprise player in the postseason? (66 words)

Jason Visser has been a surprise during the S43 playoffs, but not for the reason you think. Visser is known as a tremendously skilled player and point producer, but he stood up for his team and dropped the gloves against the Los Angeles Panthers during a round 2 game. Time will tell if Visser will keep this aggressive part of his game going into the finals.

Quote:Who is the favorite and the underdog going into this series, and why? (52 words)

West Kendall has been dominant all the way through preliminary rounds this season, putting away the Steelhawks in 6 and the Stampede in 5. The Jets only had to play an additional two games, but that rest time for the Platoon could make all the difference, and gives them the early edge.

TASK 8

Crossfit Jesus's Crossfit Pizza

[Image: Margherita-Pizza-with-Cauliflower-Crust-15.jpg]

[Image: Margherita-Pizza-with-Cauliflower-Crust-15.jpg]

This stadium classic, designed by Crossfit Jesus himself, is sure to delight. But it holds a secret in its folds--a healthy serving of vegetables! Made with a cauliflower crust, this pizza is high in potassium and protein for the extremely athletic that still want a cheat meal here and there. Served Margherita style with roma tomatoes, mozzarella cheese, fresh basil and house-made tomato sauce, the Crossfit Jesus Cauliflower Pizza is a treat you don't have to feel bad about.

Connor Blackwell's Black Bean Taquitos

[Image: Creamy-Black-Bean-Taquitos-close.jpg]

A taste of Baja California, Connor Blackwell helped us develop these delicious black bean taquitos! Made with yellow corn tortillas sourced from a local tortillaria, we pump up these tortillas with our black bean filling. Onion, cilantro, and garlic give the distinctive color to our black beans, right before a three minute trip in 100% peanut oil. A perfect crunch made even better with our authentic tomato salsa, fresh guacamole, or some Daisy sour cream!

TASK 9 (173 words)

Oh no! Performing artist Katy Perry was unable to make the performance! Fortunately for us, a local celebrity was in the audience. Jimmy Whazzisname, better known as the dancer behind Left Shark, happens to be a huge Winnipeg Jets fan, and was in the audience for the opening game! After a short interview in a backstage set, Left Shark emerges from the ramp in costume and takes the ice!

On second thought, I really hope he knows how to skate.

On third thought, maybe it's better if he doesn't.

Accompanied by mascots from both the Jets and the Platoon, the three mascots line up for a quick race around the ice, toss some t-shirts to some young fans, and leave the audience happy and not realizing their headline entertainment is out with a sore foot.

The best part of the whole thing? The idiot agreed to work for "exposure". So all way have to buy is a pack of cigarettes to bribe the local news broadcaster into taping a five minute interview session.

[Image: c955cb0a-f533-4df3-9892-b34f30701626.png...ormat&q=70]

[Image: c955cb0a-f533-4df3-9892-b34f30701626.png...ormat&q=70]

***Acsolap*** · 10-23-2018, 08:33 AM

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

At 17:00 local time police were called to a Miami residence after reports of a burglary. Upon arriving at the scene they spotted a man leaving on foot with a number of cats under his arm. After a short chase the suspected literal cat burglar was arrested and it is reported that the identity of the man is none other than West Kendall hockey sensation Beaujeaux Biscuit. The Platoon goalkeeper has been bailed and it is understood that he claimed that he was rescuing the cats from possible domestic abuse by their owner. The family who do not wish to be named strongly deny this allegation. Further unconfirmed reports suggest that Biscuit could be heard muttering 'my preciouses' when he was eventually apprehended by the police. We have contacted West Kendall but they have declined to comment citing and ongoing investigation. The SHL has also diverted their response until after the police investigation has been completed but said that they would come down hard on any criminal activity.

[169]

Task 3: The SHL Network is in need of an interview to broadcast during the challenge cup finals and you have been assigned the task! Contact a player in the upcoming series and have them answer 3 questions (player or series related) Let them know that each answer must be a minimum of 20 words for you to get credit. The player you interview must also be tagged.

What is in your breakfast of champions?

My ideal breakfast of champions is pretty boring to be honest...nothing beats a cold, leftover slice of greesy pizza that's been sitting in the box becoming stale all night.

What has been the biggest surprise package in this year's playoffs?

theres a few good stories during these playoffs but as far as surprises go, us beating hamilton was probably a big one to the league. Most everyone had us losing in 5 or 6 to them.

What do you think the next five seasons holds for WKP?

we've been doing an amazing job at getting younger as a team while maintaining the same compete and skill level. I think we are in for a very fun next 5 years as we see a very large crop of young players integrate with our current SHL all stars.

@JR95

Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers! Pick 3 of the topics below to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50 words or more.

- What young player has a chance to make a name for themself in this series?

Dayymo Ralchankinov. Coming out of his second season in the SHL he performed marginally better in his sophomore season than in his rookie year. Ralchankinov missed out on the last cup win by just a season and will be looking spring board his name into the limelight with a solid finals appearance. He scored no points in last seasons disappointing early playoff exit and has already notched points up here. Could he be the one to score the defining goal and etch his name into history?

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?

Winnipeg have to be the favourites going into this series. West Kendall Platoon barely scraped into the playoffs after the regular season and despite convincingly beating the highly favoured Hamilton Steelhawks and then brushing aside Buffalo you would expect that Winnipeg will have the required edge to win over a seven game series. You never know with playoff hockey though and anything can happen.

- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?

Jason Visser, Alex Light and Dani Forsberg would probably have made the top lines of their respective all star teams after season forty three. Visser lead the league in scoring with a phenomenal 74 points in fifty games absolutely blasting away the competition. Dani Forsberg combines a deft scoring touch with the ability to crush the opposition on the forecheck. Alex Light scored almost as many points as Forsberg and showed a killer instinct on the powerplay grabbing over a third of his points on the man advantage.

Task 8: Tons of fans are about to arrive into town hungry and the SHL needs your help with the creation of 2 new original food items which the league can patent and serve at the stadiums!

The Dionyz Vyskoc thick cut ketchup frites: @artermis
[Image: PuRkZOj.jpg]

Vyskoc missed ketchup chips so much we invented a dish just for him and now spectators can get a taste of Dionyz's favourite food as well. Triple cooked maris piper potatoes. First baked to crisp the outsides. Then sauteed and baked inside our special ketchup sauce and then deepfried before being lovingly sprinkled with fennel and served steaming hot.

-Maris pipers
-Thyme
-Rosemary
-Tomato
-Vinegar
-Salt and Pepper
-Fennel

The Jon Ross meat and potato pie @JR95
[Image: weF2pvY.jpg]

Maybe not the most exciting dish in the world but like all good teams nothing quite beats the solid meat and potato option. Slow cooked beef mixed with baked russet potatoes, chilli for a bit of zing and ginger because everyone needs a bit of orange in their life. All packed inside a perfectly cooked flaky pastry.

-Beef mince
-Beef stock
-Onion
-Red Chilli
-Ginger
-Russet potatos
-Flaky crust pastry

Task 9: We are just an hour away from the start of the challenge cup finals and you have been informed that Katy Perry has the gout and can not perform during the 1st intermission... YIKES!!!!!! ... to make matters worse Eggy and HO are not around to approve more money for a differant act! You have been chosen to take on the unenviable task of putting together something which the whole world is about to watch ...with nothing but the 11 dollars in your pocket.

In 150 words or more, explain what you came up with and how will it be implamented. The Plan must include a diagram or picture.

Head straight downtown and round up as many buskers as I can find on the premise that we are going to have a battle of the buskers to find the cities best street musician. What kind of busker could resist the chance to play in front of a captive audience of thousands and potentially catapult themselves onto the world music stage. An advantage of this show would be the variety we could have. Bucket drummers, crazy funk music like too many zooz, blues guitarists and many more styles would lead to an eclectic and vastly different show from your average sports event. On top of this we can introduce the acts as buskers and implore the crowd to throw any loose change they have onto the ice and have the ice girls scoop it up so the buskers can at least earn a bit of money. This could be slightly dangerous but also a bit entertaining in itself. Now that it's sorted I can sit back and enjoy my eleven dollar stadium beer.

[Image: 5Edf5gD.jpg]

Credit to Ml002, King, Wasty, Carpy, Bruins10, Rum_Ham, Turd Ferguson, Ragnar and Enigmatic for the sigs.
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**RomanesEuntDomus** · 10-23-2018, 11:05 AM

Task 1: In an effort to excite the millennials and urban street youth, the SHL wants a hip/hop promotion for this years challenge cup! Using the youtube beat above, create a 150 word or more Rap/R&B jam about the championship series! The song must have at least 1 verse and 1 chorus and include players from either or both teams.

Look
If you had
One slapshot
Or one check
To seize everything you ever wanted
In one moment
Would you capture it
Or just let the challenge cup slip?

Yo

His gloves are sweaty, knees weak, pads are heavy
There's vomit on his jersey already, Wong’s spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To shoot bombs, but he keeps on forgettin'
What coach Bojo wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He winds up, but the shots won't come out
He's chokin', how, everybody's jokin' now
The clocks run out, times up, over, blaow!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Dani, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy? No
He won't have it, he knows West Kendall’s ropes
It don't matter, he's dope, he knows that, but he's choked
He's so stacked that he knows, when he goes back to his huge mansion, that's when its
Back to the lab again yo, this whole game plan
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

You better lose yourself in the game, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to score
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better
You better lose yourself in the game, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to score
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime you better

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

The Simulation Hockey League would like to address the recent rumors about West Kendall Platoon goaltender Beaujeaux Biscuit and the illegal activities that he has been said to be involved him. What originally seemed like an unverified report from a highly questionable source has sadly turn out to be the truth. We all knew about Biscuit’s love and adoration for cats, but we would’ve never thought that his commitment to his feline friends would go so far that he would actively go out and purposefully hurt the cats ancient enemy while also making a profit from it. We hereby confirm that the rumors are true. Beaujeaux Biscuit has been actively involved and seems to be a leading figure in local dogfighting operations, a kingpin even.

[Image: Michael-Vick.jpg]

Along with multiple associates who have been uncovered and imprisoned in a recent sting operation, Biscuit organized dogfights, earning money both through his share in the operation and by betting himself. As a recently discovered shocking video also shows, Biscuit seems to actively take pleasure in the dogs suffering while maniacally stroking Pushkin with an evil grin. As a result, the Simulation Hockey League has decided to suspend Biscuit indefinitely until law enforcement and the courts have dealt with the situation however they see fit.

Task 3: The SHL Network is in need of an interview to broadcast during the challenge cup finals and you have been assigned the task! Contact a player in the upcoming series and have them answer 3 questions (player or series related) Let them know that each answer must be a minimum of 20 words for you to get credit. The player you interview must also be tagged.

Interview with @Troy_McClure03

Q: Thanks for sitting down and agreeing to do this interview with us. First, as we do with all our interview guests, we’d like you to introduce yourself to our viewers.
A: Hi I’m Troy McClure, you may remember me from such films as “Just hide Troy on the 3rd pairing and maybe we’ll have a chance” and “Damn Colorado did become a great place once I was called up.”
Q: Winnipeg is arguably going into this series as the underdog, what do you expect from the finals and your team?
A: I expect us to surprise a lot of people, I don’t know where people are getting that impression that we are the underdog, we have just as much quality on the roster as the Platoon, the only difference that they have all the pressure know and I wouldn’t surprise to see them crack under it.
Q: And lastly, what can you tell us about the rumors of a hot affair you are said to have with a mysterious woman that people only refer to as “Kimmy”?
A: What I can tell you is that this is none of your goddamn business. There is no truth to these rumors that you’ve heard and frankly, I’m disgusted that you even entertain the thought of them being true.

Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers! Pick 3 of the topics below to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50 words or more.

- Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?
Pietra Volkova, because she is Pris. Need any more arguments? Alright then. Volkova is everything you could ask for in a teammate, she was an integral part in forming and keeping together the West Kendall team that we know today and that is on the verge of becoming a dynasty, but sadly she wasn’t around to reap the rewards when the Platoon hoisted the cup for the first time as she had been traded in the meantime. But now it’s her chance to finally get her own cup and of course it has to be in a series against her old team, the team that she helped build… Could there be a more perfect storyline than that?

- Which organization needs this championship more in terms of legacy?
Let’s be honest… Does either organization really need this title to cement its legacy? Both the West Kendall Platoon and the Winnipeg Jets rank among the most successful franchises in recent years, having won one cup each over the last couple of seasons. If you discount the perennial dynasty that is the Calgary Dragons, those two teams probably are as close to the top as you can get already. If I had to choose then I’d probably say Winnipeg though, West Kendall already had a lot of positive press since their last cup whereas things have been a bit more quiet around Winnipeg, so they could probably gain a little more from another win.

- Who has been there teams surprise player in the post season?
I already talked about her before but we have to come back to her again: Pietra Volkova. Yes we all know that she is a good player and we have already talked plenty about her leadership capabilities. But now, after a long career and already in regression, she might be playing her best hockey yet. 20 points in 17 games, among them a ridiculous 13 goals and her usual strong physical play which manifested itself in 61 hits, is there any more you can ask for from a player? Leading the playoffs in both goals and hits by a good margin is a mark that is rarely achieved. We all knew that Volkova was good, but few of us believed that she was THAT good.
Task 9: We are just an hour away from the start of the challenge cup finals and you have been informed that Katy Perry has the gout and can not perform during the 1st intermission... YIKES!!!!!! ... to make matters worse Eggy and HO are not around to approve more money for a differant act! You have been chosen to take on the unenviable task of putting together something which the whole world is about to watch ...with nothing but the 11 dollars in your pocket.

In 150 words or more, explain what you came up with and how will it be implamented. The Plan must include a diagram or picture.
Katy Perry might be sick but luckily, there is still her little known stepsister Kimmy Perry who has recently snuck into the SMJHL and onto the Colorado Raptors roster under the fake name of “Andrew Martin”. Wearing an elaborate fatsuit, fake beard and state of the art double chin replica to hide her flawless figure, Kimmy has been able to stay undetected for the last few seasons but now it is time for her to drop her disguise, step into the spotlight and show the entire that she, not Katy, is the true star in the Perry family! Luckily Kimmy happened to be in the audience of for game one of the challenge cup finals, playing a pretty convincing Troy McClure fangirl. Having recently learned about her secret identity after a very confusing night she had shared with Troy, who opened up to his teammates afterwards, breaking down in tears due to the sexual confusion he now experiences, I immediately approached Kimmy when I spotted her in the stands. And I already knew my angle. “Kimmy”, I whispered into her ear after quietly approaching her from behind, “you know that there is only one way to win over Troy for good. You know it in your heart. You know it’s true. Go down there and show the world what you are made off. Katy will not be able to perform due to an unfortunate… accident. The stage is all yours. The way into Troy’s heart… and pants. It’s all yours. Go out there and take what is yours.” And without saying a word, she got up and did just that…

sarmo · 10-23-2018, 12:01 PM

Task 1 -

Winnipeg Jets versus the Platoon
How many games did it take these goons?

Game 1 WKP brought the juice
Game 2 WKP brought the juice
Game 3 wkp brought the juice
Game 4 WKP brought the broom

Winnipeg Jets versus the Platoon
How many games did it take these goons?

Caelum done got traded for his number 2
Forsberg got the Dragons on a loop
now i dont hate em but the jets too good to be fakin'
talent wastin'
Zach Evans on his way to the kitchen for some cookie bakin'
Max Weber bustin shots from the blueline for some turkey bacon
cuz he know its game 4, and its either ride or go home
and when the Platoon get the gold, ol Max still got hoes
and Nova stay flexin dope, twistin lean with his coke

Winnipeg Jets versus the Platoon
How many games did it take these goons?

Task 2-

With the SHL looking at the antics that happened after game 4 between the Platoon and the Jets, it was only a matter of time before we heard some details on the fate of Terrance Nova and Gary Grease.

On Wednesday, the league announced its decision.

After the video review, the SHL determined that Terrance Nova was indeed the instigator by initiating trash talk and taunting. He will be hit with harder judgement than Gary Grease, who retaliated by running up on Nova which led to the punches thrown.

The decision made:

Terrance Nova fined an irrelevant sum
Gary Grease fined a more irrelevant sum

[Image: tupac-getty-images.jpg]

Nova and his entourage following his release from the arrest made on him and Grease after the physical altercation.

Detailed press SHL release:

Nova has been fined for aggressively escalating an altercation, approaching Grease outside of the lockerroom with his entourage, taunting and aggravating Grease after the hockey game and while defending himself, throwing punches back at Grease and instigating the whole situation with his presence and hostility. Grease has been fined for engaging in a physical altercation with Nova, approaching him, sizing him up and throwing multiple punches. The SHL committee has a strict conduct against incidents like these outside the rink and holds SHL players responsible to maintain higher standards and class and to prevent situations that will effect the image of the league negatively.

Task 3 -

1. What was the variance of your cookies before each game?

Evans - I mean, I started with some tried and true sugar cookies to start the series. Dance with the girl that brought you, ya know? After game two started experimenting with some more interesting varieties like oatmeal with cranberries and white chocolate chips. It, uh, didn't work.

2. Coming into this series who do you think is truly the better team?

Evans - I dunno if I thought we were the better team. I expected a pretty close series, though. I honestly thought it would go six or seven games.

3. Do u see yourself on the jets for the rest of your career (even if the team fell apart completely in the future) would you remain there?

Evans - At this point, I do, yeah. I've devoted so much of my career to this team, I can't imagine playing for anyone else. Never say never, but I'd like to retire a Jet.

@ztevans thanks buddy

Task 5 -

1. Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?

I think the player who is most deserving of another championship would be Jason Visser. His skills and workload is unmatched and with having Nova as my player, I can relate to someone who feels that hunger to win but does not have enough support to reap what they deserve.

2. Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?

The favorite would be be the Winnipeg Jets and even though the West Kendall Platoon certainly has a contending roster, they played like the underdog this whole season, barely making playoffs while the Jets ran through the SHL only to find itself fall short of what everyone thought was truly theirs.

3. Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?

The 3 most dangerous players in this series would easily be Dani Forsberg, Jason Visser and Max Weber. There are plenty of more to name but these 3 guys are key to their team. Forsberg is the Platoon's game breaker, the go to guy. Visser is the MVP of the Jets this season by far and Weber is the defenseman every contending team needs now days as an anchor.

Task 9 -

This would be an easy come up for Nova and pretty simple in terms of solving the entertainment problem. Nova would use the 11 bucks in his pocket to buy weed, then call his good friend snoop doggy dog who is a big hockey fan for a nice session. Nova will convince an under the influence snoop dog to perform "Nothin but a G thang" with him on stage since the both remember the lyrics to that song. Snoop dog will be earning the money Perry was going to make for the performance and split it with Nova, which results in his come up as well in this scheme. Yes, Nova would be performing on stage in the first intermission of the Platoon vs Jets finals series. You heard that right, it's not corny because Katie Perry singing in a hockey game would be way worse anyways. The SHL wanted their problem solves so there we have it.

Snoop dog [middle] and Terrance Nova [Right] on the stage performing "Nothin' but a G thang"

***WannabeFinn*** · 10-23-2018, 06:06 PM

Task 2: Oh no! scandal has hit championship week here on day 2! as a beat reporter from TMZ obtained the police reports of a highly embarrasing arrest made from one of the players in the challenge cup series!.. In 150 words or more, create an official SHL press report to release to the media with a picture related to the incident, the details of this incident, what player or players were involved and the official reponse of the league.

[Image: WX2rQvX.jpg?1]

On the evening before the start of the Challenge Cup Finals, Winnipeg Jets player Zach Evans was arrested with 10 pounds of cookies and other baked goods that contained THC. While marijuana consumption is now legal across the board in Winnipeg (and the rest of Canada), it is still outlawed in the United States. Zach Evans was stopped by customs at the airport in Miami, where he was later detained and arrested. He is currently facing charges involving possession, trafficking, and intent to sell. Currently Zach Evans' agent has nothing to say on the incident, however the SHL is working with him to discuss the next step for Zach, the Platoon, and the league. One bystander at the airport said that they overheard Evans' response when the customs officials asked him about what he had brought into south Florida.

"Oh my god. I thought I grabbed the other cookies. I just love to bake. I love to share them with my friends and teammates. Oh my god please I'm so sorry. It's a genuine mistake. I can't right now."

Task 3: The SHL Network is in need of an interview to broadcast during the challenge cup finals and you have been assigned the task! Contact a player in the upcoming series and have them answer 3 questions (player or series related) Let them know that each answer must be a minimum of 20 words for you to get credit. The player you interview must also be tagged.

Question 1: How does it feel to be playing against the Platoon in the Finals?

Viacheslav Orlov: Well it feels great to be honest like better than the time I was GM of the Falcons or the time I was GM of the Seattle Riot and if I'm gonna be honest here it might even be better than when I was accepted into the University of Houston an-

Question 2: This truly is an exciting time, I can tell it's getting to you. Are there any nerves? Do you think the greatness of the moment might get to you?

Viacheslav Orlov: I have nerves of steel. Nobody can get me off of my game. If you doubt that then this summer you can come down to Houston and find out.

Question 3: Who are you looking forward to seeing lift the Cup on this Winnipeg team?

Viacheslav Orlov: Well myself of course, nobody on this team is any more deserving of a championship than I am. The things that I've done along the way to get here have just been nothing short of remarkable and I'm fairly should these guys would be golfing right about now if I weren't around.

@"mpc"

Task 4: Radio@SHL is in need of some mini podcasts for a pre show analysis of the series! You can work alone in a 3 minute podcast or with a partner for a 5 minute show. if you choose to do a 2 man mini-pod it will be required that each member contribute their fair share to the discussion topics below.

Choose 1 or more of the following topics for your 1 or 2 man podcast:
- Strength and weakness analysis of each team

https://soundcloud.com/user-458006319/sh...ni-podcast

Task 5: Newspapers and bloggers are covering the event all across the globe and they are looking for information to post to their readers! Pick 3 of the topics below to write about! Each topic is worth 1 TPE. Each answer must be 50 words or more.

- Which player on either team is most deserving of winning a championship?

Well it's gotta be Paddy O'Sullivan. He's been grinding in this league for a while now and he's finally getting the chance to make something awesome happen in the playoffs. He's not an old player by any stretch of the imagination, but you've gotta think that winning the Cup would truly mean a lot for the guy, his family, and his agent.

- Who is the favorite and who is the underdog of this series and why?

It's tough to say that either of these teams are coming in and looking like an underdog, but surprisingly enough I'm going to say that the Jets are looking like the relative underdogs here. Despite entering the playoffs as the 1st seed in the West, they struggled in the first couple rounds. West Kendall on the other hand made quick work of the Steelhawks and Stampede as the 4th seed in the East, and with goaltender Beaujeaux Biscuit on fire it's hard to see them being stopped.

- Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?

The most dangerous players on the ice this series are Jason Visser, Dani Forsberg, and Alex Light. Jason Visser is arguably the best player in the league over the past 5+ seasons, and he's coming off of another tremendous regular season. Dani Forsberg is a rising superstar who could take over the game in any aspect. Alex Light is an experienced, cup winning veteran who has a knack for scoring at crucial moments.

Task 9: We are just an hour away from the start of the challenge cup finals and you have been informed that Katy Perry has the gout and can not perform during the 1st intermission... YIKES!!!!!! ... to make matters worse Eggy and HO are not around to approve more money for a differant act! You have been chosen to take on the unenviable task of putting together something which the whole world is about to watch ...with nothing but the 11 dollars in your pocket.

In 150 words or more, explain what you came up with and how will it be implamented. The Plan must include a diagram or picture.

Luckily for the fans of the SHL around the world, $11 is just enough money to purchase membership on Old School Runescape. I will bring my computer, headset, and other various gaming equipment necessary for streaming my gameplay. Fans can watch in amazement as I roam the lands of Gielinor, adventuring through the oil-rich sands of Al-Kharid or travelling under White Wolf Mountain with a bunch of midgets. I will have just enough time during the first intermission to create a hardcore ironman and make my way through the vast continent, only to die to an evil Dark Wizard south of Varrock, thus losing my hardcore status. This performance is meant to be enjoyed as a comedic adventure. And what do I gain from this? I launch an extremely successful streaming career on the back of the massive viewing audience, and the gaming company that owns OSRS will offer me lifetime membership for free as a thanks for providing them with such tremendous advertising at no cost of their own.

[Image: maxresdefault.jpg]

Vikian · 10-23-2018, 06:28 PM

Task: 2

We here at the SHL have investigated about the incident about Dani Forsberg and know while he was intoxicated he did not hurt and try to harm anyone. On October 14 there was a dashcam footage from a Police Officer in West Kendall as he stopped Forsberg who was walking around the street throwing powder everywhere. When asked what he was doing Forsberg looked confused and shocked as if he it was self explanatory. He then winked at the officer and threw powder up in the air and yelled “I’ve got the powder!” as he remixed I’ve got the power by Snap. He then went on to keep walking down the street singing and throwing powder everywhere. The officer examined the powder only to find it being baby powder. The officer eventually would convince Forsberg to get into the car and was taken to the station to calm down and sober up. But we at the SHL have no worry about Forsberg and no punishment will be made.
[Image: D4ppHlU.jpg]

Task 5

Looking at this Championship Finals the two teams are built to win. They have been here before but in any case there is always one team more suited to win than the other. The best team to win this series in my opinion is going to be West Kendall. They have a lot more scoring depth and better defense than the Winnipeg. But in terms of which team would need a Championship more to cement their legacy would depend on how you define it. West Kendall for sure would be looked at as a Dynasty if they would win on the other hand Winnipeg would looked to be a more successful team even more than what they have been. The most dangerous Skaters on the Ice for this series is going to be three players. For Winnipeg Crossfit Jesus and Pietra Volkova have been so good for so long that they are always on top of these lists. For Kendall it has to be Trevor Wilson who has been lightening it up in the regular season and now in the postseason.

Task 9

Ohh no not Katy Perry. 11 bucks in my pocket and not knowing what to do I just run out into the street to find something to replace Perry. As I ran around town I saw a dog that was cute...maybe...a banana peel...always fun, kids love them. No we need something more. 11 dollars we can get plenty and something exciting for everyone. There has to be something that we can get. THERE! As something caught my eye, the flashes, the movement it was beautiful. “Ladies and Gentleman for your pleasure we have found the greatest entertainment that we could find on short notice and 11 dollars. A magician…!....and not just any magician a magician from middle school.” As the child performs his magic tricks and makes some fortnite dances people clap and awkwardly say “I guess that was pretty good”, the game ends and no one remember about Katy Perry.

[Image: 1uGlv7Q.jpg]

Task 1
Verse:
Beep boop
Please watch our game
Its a physical sport
Don't be upset
Oh heavens
Looks like Crossfit Jesus laid out another hit
Streaks left by Zach Evans
Like Jets on the blue sky
Winnipeg getting ready to fly
West Kendall trying to stall them
SKRRT ( I think we need to add this)
Trying to make them hit an iceberg
Freeze them in place
Hit a wall named Forsberg
Alex Light -ing a fire under his team
See what I did there
I have no idea what I’m doing
Stop playing Fortnite
Even though we aren’t Vancouver
Watch SHL or our HO will get tilted

Chorus:
What am I doing?
I have no idea how to write a rap song
But I need that TPE
SHL so good
I honestly don't even know a different hockey sim
Winnipeg going to win
I only wish I could be as good as biscuit
Now i'm hungry.

Anyother Task:

NSFL PT Share
(I believe it counts for one for CW)

SlashACM · 10-23-2018, 08:25 PM

Task 2: Paddy O'Sullivan was arrested in his hotel room following game 2 on Monday. There were reports of strippers, booze, and drugs littering the scene. There are reports of GM JR95 also being involved in the incident, but these are unconfirmed. The West Kendall organization would like to pronounce their official stance on this unfortunate situation, as of right now, is: No comment.
The head office of the league will neither confirm or deny the truthfulness of these allegations, but are working with police to provide evidence and testimony in defense of the winger. This in no way reflects on his teammates, locker room culture, or the West Kendall Platoon as a whole, and they promise that this is an isolated incident.
Paddy O'Sullivan was released from police custody and cleared of all charges the same night, though a leaked cell phone photo shows evidence of a party. There is nothing discernably illegal from the photo, and the Platoon organization requests that you remain respectful towards O'Sullivan and his teammates for the rest of the finals.
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Task 6: (Sorry its so big; first time ive ever said that)
[Image: IMG_20181018_223725.jpg]

Leoben · 10-23-2018, 08:33 PM

Monday

The Platoon gonna get it done
Gonna be number one
The Platoon gonna get it done
The Jets won’t have much fun

Volkova, and Jesus, and Visser will give it their best shot
But Vyskok, and Wilson, and Leafer will are coming in hot
The Jets will crash and burn, the Platoon are gonna earn
This one will be over quick, Jets are gettin’ licked
I hope your Jets carry barf bags, because they’re about to airsick *rap horn goes here*
Ice, and hockey, and pucks, and fights
Fans, and beers, and cheers, and lights
Yea, skates, and sticks, and pads, and gloves
And players, with names, and numbers, and shoves
Sports, and athleticism, and skills, and competition
Get ready for some hockey, let’s start the ignition

The Platoon gonna get it done
Gonna be number one
The Platoon gonna get it done
The Jets won’t have much fun

Tuesday

[Image: qj9t6QDRqqnDmjRFnUwA_Should_You_Use_Anab..._Media.jpg]

[Image: qj9t6QDRqqnDmjRFnUwA_Should_You_Use_Anab..._Media.jpg]

Pietra Volkova was caught behind a local Subway in West Kendall yesterday apparently buying old rigs for his “medicine.” He was brought in for questioning but released without being charged. When asked what kind of medicine he was using, he replied it was just for a sinus infection. While sinus infections are common, he displayed no symptoms. He became increasingly agitated by our line of questioning and eventually stormed off. Our reporter chased him down before he could get in his Chrysler Seabring and take off. He started head-butting the steering wheel and starting talking about how everything was just a simulation and none of us really exist. Joe Rogan would later comment on the incident during his Podcast stating “It’s entirely possible. Jamie pull up “Steroids, hockey, Chrysler Seabring, and Canada.” No, that’s a picture of a bear eating a moose. Did you know they eat your asshole first? Fucking monsters!” When asked for comment, the SHL simply stated "We have lots of interesting characters in the SHL but we have zero tolerance for performance enhancing drugs. But, we'll let it slide. However, Volkova's actions, Montreal Militia will be forced to forfeit it's first round picks for S44 and S45 along with a $10,000,000 fine. Suck it."

*Good_Ole_Kimmy* · 10-23-2018, 09:35 PM

Task 2: Scandals!
This just in! Reports have just come in that former Colorado Raptors player and now bottom pairing dman for the Winnipeg Jets Troy McClure III is caught up in a scandal for the ages! Word on the street is that he stole, yes that is right, stole some patented hot tub technology that was being developed in Colorado before he left Winnipeg. He has down right admitted to the crime, but still refuses to give it back. After many reports to the league about the incident they demanded he give the Raptors their hot tub schematics back, but that has done little good against the goon defenseman. It has been weeks since the verdict was announced by the league, and it only seemed to make more people on the Jets involved. It now seems that another former Colorado player Ignatius Blunt has teamed up with McClure to keep the hot tub parts in their possession, claiming that "it is just too damn good to give up" and "finders keepers losers weepers".
[Image: GbiKG5d.png]

(171)

Task 3: Media Day
Interview

Ok Troy, you just got off of your rookie season in the SHL, how did that go?
I'll be honest Bob, I think I did ok all things considered. We are in the cup finals are we not?

Interview

My name isn't Bob... but ok. Anyway, who do you think will be Winnipeg's best player in the series?
It's gotta be Jason Visser, that guy is an absolute beast of a man. A real hunk if you know what I mean, he also plays hockey well I guess...

Interview

There are rumors swirling that you stole some hot tube technology from Colorado on your way out, can you confirm this?
Hell yeah I can confirm this, they should have locked up that stuff when they had the chance to. Now I get to enjoy some nice relaxing hot water after practices.
@Troy_McClure03

Task 5: Media Day
Who are the 3 most dangerous players on the ice in this series and why?
The obvious choice for one of the most dominant players is Jason Visser. Visser had an absolute dominant regular season having 72 points, 20 points more than his closest team mate and 12 more than second place in the ENTIRE LEAGUE. This isn't all Visser is capable of though, he also has a plus minus rating of thirty seven and a face off success rate of fifty four percent in 1,671 attempts. He has also won multiple individual awards through out his career, including several years worth of league MVPs.

Secondly, I would say Dani Forseberg. Forseberg had a pretty good season all things considered, getting himself fifty seven points in the season. That is good for being tied fourth for most points in the league, as well as being the leading point scorer on his team by four points.

Lastly, we have the defenseman Max Weber. Weber scored fifty points, more than any other defenseman in the league. He also managed to show off his defensive prowess with his team leading eighty nine shots blocked, on top of his plus minus ratio of twenty four.

Task 8: Media & Graphics
[Image: nashville-burger-republic-cr-courtesy.jpg]

[Image: nashville-burger-republic-cr-courtesy.jpg]

The Gary Greaser Burger with Onions
3lbs of meat
Two handfuls of fried onions
A healthy splash of butter on a brioche bun
5 slices of swiss cheese
One cut up jalapeno pepper

[Image: sausage-gravy-stuffed-biscuits-8.jpg]

[Image: sausage-gravy-stuffed-biscuits-8.jpg]

Beaujeaux's Homemade Biscuits
Two fluffy biscuits
3 logs(?) of sausage cut up
2 cups of gravy
A dollop of syrup on top
A sprinkle of basil on top, because Beajeaux is classy

[Image: OLFaSe2.png]

Upon realizing that Katy Perry (in 2018????) has canceled, I graciously step up saying I have a plan even though I don't have one at all. While struggling to come up with a plan before a riot starts, I see the one, the only macklemore. For those of you that don't know, macklemore made the world hit single "Thrift Shop". In said hit single he mentions only having ninety nine cents and that he frequents the local thrift stores. Then it hits me: Invite him to sing, and not even spend more than a dollar! I run up to him begging and pleading for him to do a show after explaining the conundrum Katy Perry put us in. He only says one thing: "do you have ninety nine cents?" I hand him the measly amount of money he is asking for, and he knocks the half time show out of the park! Everyone is hyped, and I still had enough money to buy a hot dog!
(166)

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