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Daco · 12-31-2018, 10:39 AM

Casimir Stevens Unveils amazing thoughts on other rookie goalies (aka scrubs)

Sorted in no particular order, since no one deserves any credit of course

1) Mike Hunt
He was pretty horrible in the prospect tourney but this flea is slowly becoming a mega-flea (is that creative enough?) in my backside. This Hunt seems to be a problem for scorers of every kind, he racks up shutouts then bangs your girl. Don’t worry though he has the reflexes to hit it and get away in time. He’s actually the worst in the rookie class if I’m lying and my stats are made up he is by far the worst if I make them up even more. For real though he’s close to me, so he’s ok.

2) Peter Larson
Now this bitch, I told him to stop competing with me or I’d murder his family but he just wouldn’t stop. Keeps getting it into his head that it’s ok to compete with Cas. It’s not ok stop being so good I’ll destroy you or maybe I won’t since that’s probably illegal to say let’s be safe. A .887 sv % and 2.89 GAA he’s almost as good as me! Just an ‘almost’. I got more wins so there’s that HA! Whalers gonna whale. This man has been my nemesis through thick and thin. Maybe thinner like water. Less thick like paint and stuff. Sometimes we cuddle up at night and tell each other sweet stories. But yea he’s third in goalie stats and I need to fight him sometime.

3) Yuri Ushakov
Yuri is pretty good he’s not great but yea… he’s great. Don’t make me say nice things about him. I’m leaving this interview if you make me compliment him. Fuck Yuri he’s too good tell him to leave I don’t like competition he’s even better than Mike Hunt .He’s like that Russian dude in Rocky. Fights but doesn’t know what he’s doing. Goaltends but doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’ll figure it out. Not everyone can be a good ole Canadian Boah. I feel bad for any players not from Canada, the losing in IIHF your whole career when we stomp you will be tough

4) Jakub Hasek
She’s good at relief playing that’s for sure.. 968% on games she played what a boss. Don’t fuck with her or you’ll get your soul taken away and spat up in the form of a smoothie. Like after it’s done digesting I mean. Or maybe your soul will be turned into chopped teriyaki and that’s not just a way to add content it’s a serious analogy.

5) Mike Mckorsy
Sorry but whoever drafted him is a lameo. No one is as good as Luke and Glyc it’s ok. Not everyone can be a winner. Good luck softies

6) Vivian Leblanc
More like schmivian lestank am I right? This locker room is already in shambles as Low Temp came in hot with 24 games played. Look out Leblanc you got a low temperature weather front coming up!!

7) Patrice Nadeau
I actually knew a guy by the exact same name who lives in Chicago now what an odd coincidental name well anyways his save % was atrocious dude learn how to make a save in hockey rebounds are bad not good ok.

8) ZZSnoop lion
This inactive has a knack for catchy names I’ll give him that. This scrub couldn’t cut it and only got 0 wins whereas I got 31 take that fake bot player!

9) Petr Vrana- no comment he’s too good and I want him to lose <_< AKV too is a beast but if I don’t acknowledge him it won’t matter. Sometimes Vrana comes in to the locker room to brag and starts teabagging me but it's ok he doesn't realize I actually like it and we get into some good macho fighting sometimes

at least, 600k

Flareon · 12-31-2018, 10:44 AM

12-31-2018, 10:39 AMDaco Wrote: 5) Mike Mckorsy
Sorry but whoever drafted him is a lameo. No one is as good as Luke and Glyc it’s ok. Not everyone can be a winner. Good luck softies

see you on the ice.

Daco · 12-31-2018, 10:52 AM

12-31-2018, 10:44 AMowenm43 Wrote:
12-31-2018, 10:39 AMDaco Wrote: 5) Mike Mckorsy
Sorry but whoever drafted him is a lameo. No one is as good as Luke and Glyc it’s ok. Not everyone can be a winner. Good luck softies

see you on the ice.

hahah love you sorry not really tho

Vik · 12-31-2018, 12:59 PM

Idk why but my brain kept trying to turn this into a rap when I read it
It just kept breaking it up all chunky and to a beat and I was over here like brain what you doing it’s still trying to do it with what I’m typing now this is such a strange phenomenon I’m not on drugs right now I swear

Daco · 12-31-2018, 01:29 PM

12-31-2018, 12:59 PMJakub Wrote: Idk why but my brain kept trying to turn this into a rap when I read it
It just kept breaking it up all chunky and to a beat and I was over here like brain what you doing it’s still trying to do it with what I’m typing now this is such a strange phenomenon I’m not on drugs right now I swear

Meg someone could write their thesis on your brain

oddly_colored_beef · 12-31-2018, 02:58 PM

No mention of Billy Sorokin? Disrespectful. You better watch your back for those Russians.

Daco · 12-31-2018, 05:35 PM

12-31-2018, 02:58 PModdly_colored_beef Wrote: No mention of Billy Sorokin? Disrespectful. You better watch your back for those Russians.

I honestly just got bored after doing like 3 people no disrespect intended Smile

Flames1848 · 01-01-2019, 06:42 AM

Mike McKorsy will answer in style in a media about this

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