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bilbo · 02-14-2019, 12:40 PM

Quote:Ready for grading!

SHLers Guide to Not Making Your Lover Hate You or the SHL

by: bilbo, Biased News with Bilbo Jr.

Happy Valentine’s Day, SHL! For a lot of you, today is just Thursday, and for some of us, it is still Thursday, but also a day where we feel obligated to do something with our significant others. If I could make you all my valentine, I wouldn’t. Only some of you. I'm sorry that this is how you had to find out, but thank you for clicking my article.

I know I usually write in third person for Biased News with Bilbo Jr. (SMJHL), but they are way too busy with the SMJHL and SHL drafts over there to care about what I write about in my own time. Anyone from the future want to tell me where the active Raider rookies are going in the SHL draft? Please give them to good homes. What about Olivier Cloutier? That’s what Mr. Spi Der, our second best BNB Jr. reporter, wants to know. He's got his best eight-legged suit pressed and ready to go.

Moving back to the topic of this article, since today is Valentine’s Day, we wanted to give even the lonely hearts club some pointers from new and long-time SHLers about how not to make your lover hate you for joining the SHL and the SHL itself. Don’t make the same mistakes I have. My Facebook's "In a Relationship" days are probably numbered. If you won’t listen to me, listen to my friends, @slothfacekilla, @JayWhy, @prettyburn, and @Ace, who were nice enough to give us all some hot tips.

Tip 1: “Make it seem like the SHL is a positive experience.” - slothfacekilla

I have wanted to write up an SHL do’s/don’ts guide for a while now, since my partner hates the SHL and I’m not someone who can not talk about what’s happening. (I have feelings and they demand to be known.) Sloth said that above gem in a chat recently, and it prompted this whole thing to finally get written now. Even though he hasn’t been on the site for very long, his wife still seems to like him after his copious amounts of SHL time, and his advice is spot on.

JayWhy—who I know has been with the same person for a long time and their anniversary is on my birthday so it’s meant to be—had something similar to say about BaeWhy. “Don't seem like you hate it. A lot of people get toxic on here, and people have bad days. As simmer, I had a lot of days that I dreaded coming online and because of it, it took time for [BaeWhy] to feel comfortable with the SHL as something I would do. She just saw where I was stressed and angry often at a website, kind of makes sense. Don't make it about the things you hate, make it about the things you like.”

If you continuously say that the SHL is dumb and stressful, people who love you will realize you have self-destructive behaviors and they'll encourage you to leave, and we can't have that. Hide the truth from them.

Tip 2: Train before the weekend.

More than likely, your significant other will want to do something on the weekend or some specific day during the week. If you're anything like me, you need to stop lying to yourself and thinking you'll just train and do PTs before your partner wakes up from their slumber. Get training and PTs done by Thursday night or whatever day you need to before you’re spending time with them, so your partner never thinks the SHL is taking away quality couple time.

OR you could not do that.

Tip 3: If you’re in too deep with the SHL, say you’re doing something else when it doesn’t seem too much like lying.

If you’re like Ace, when he started his SHL journey, his wife “went from hatred to acceptance. I figure she went through the five stages of grief.”

He went on to say, “When a significant allotment of time is needed for an SHL event, whether it’s a draft, a PBP, or whatever, never come out and say that it’s for the SHL. It’s ‘a work project’ or ‘I’m doing some research on hockey.’”

He’s a long-time SHLer and GM, folks. I think we can trust him.

Tip 4: Don't be on Discord during dates. Put that shit on red to not get notifications. “Get off your phone.” - bilbo’s partner, every day

Discord is a wonderful place to keep up-to-date with all the things your teammates are saying and also to know when the SHL drama is happening, but get in the habit of not looking at your phone even when they're in the bathroom or talking about something very boring. Just be in the moment. Everyone has receipts, so you won’t be left in the dark about what happened online if you don’t check in for a couple hours.

I also reached out to prettyburn who I can confirm has a good relationship with her husband, at least during the time I stayed with them one time. They’re cute af and he made me a great mojito. Pb had some great advice and said, “Don't ignore them and stare at your phone all day if you're out doing something together even if there's team/league drama going on (unless they're cool with it).” I will go a step further and say that even if they say they’re cool with it, you probably shouldn’t get in the habit of doing it. Don’t take their patience for granted.

Tip 5: “Make sure to let them know if you're planning to schedule your evening around a draft or some event.” - prettyburn

This is something I definitely recommend doing if you don’t already have plans made for that event time. If you suddenly have a conflicting schedule with SHL and already made plans, refer to tip 4 and apply it to friends/partners equally.

Tip 6: “Don't be simmer." - JayWhy

RIP JR and others. JR seems to be doing okay, but what do I know? I think JayWhy’s tip can be applied to a couple other jobs around the site as well, but definitely for our simmers.

JayWhy went on to explain, “This may seem self-explanatory, but to some it may not be. It's a high-stress role where everything is time sensitive and the league controls a lot of what you can and cannot do with your partner. We had a lot of times where we couldn't go out for a date or to eat because I had a sim to do, or I had to watch my drinking because I had to be up early for a sim. It really puts a damper on things. Let alone all the hate you get quite often, which leads them to find the league a pretty disgusting place.”

Tip 7: Apply the two-minute rule. If your partner or irl friends ask how the SHL is doing, say everything in under two minutes or don't say anything at all. No one cares, even if they say they do.

If and when you become friends with people on the SHL and you're updating your significant other on your friends’ actual lives that aren't about the SHL, keep it that way. Don't dive into SHL talk. Keep it about things non-hockey fans care about so that way they'll hold your friends from SHL in a good light, too, and not be bored or confused.

If you must talk about the Thunderdome, keep the details light. For example, “[Team] was at it again, Karen. The popcorn was being eaten at full force and I didn't get anything done for hours! Just kidding, ha ha, how was your day?”

When you are talking to them and your partner/friends do ask more questions that will make you talk longer than about two minutes, prettyburn mentioned, “Tell them as much or as little as they want. If they're interested, explaining what SHL is/what your team drama is means they'll understand what you're staring at on your phone, but don't bore them with it if they don't care. If they're willing/interested to learn about it, they might better understand why you're on your phone if you explain the drama to them.”

Tip 8: “Don't consider becoming simmer again when Evok steps down.” - JayWhy

“This is a bit more recent, but currently getting yelled at for considering picking the mantle back up. Eggy also got yelled at. If all else fails, use this to refer back to [Tip] 1.”

To a lesser degree than JayWhy’s situation, there are certainly times when I want to get more demanding SHL jobs or even go back to being a Player Updater, but keeping my relationship and terrible time management skills in mind, I stay away.

Tip 9: “Date/marry someone who's used to belonging to online communities." - prettyburn

This is more of a tip for when you’re looking for a new partner, but it’s not bad advice. I’m dating someone who had no idea that talking to strangers online could be a fun hobby and still doesn’t quite believe me after three years of SHL. Some people live under very specific rocks, maybe.

Tip 10: “Involve them in small decisions.” - JayWhy

“When I was recreating from Jakub, I asked [BaeWhy] for the name. When I recreated from Jason, she named the next one as well. She also chose my number as Jax. It's little things, but it makes them feel more connected to the game and your player. Then it also becomes something where you can tell them how that player is doing and it's some kind of connection to them seeing results and seeing the fun of the sim.”

This is about when I realized that JayWhy is way more considerate than I am. I mean, I already knew this based off our conversations about present getting, but why ya gotta be that way, bb J?

Tip 11: “Use Discord to introduce them." - JayWhy

“Originally it was chatzy, which [BaeWhy] got to see the humor of the OG Edmonton group. Otherwise, using Discord when around her and showing her funny things being said, she then would take the phone or laptop and start talking to people. Introduce in a comfortable place like your team Discord server where they can make some longer term connections through you. Also introduce them to Eggy. That guy is a saint and people love him.”

I certainly cannot advise anyone to introduce their partners to Eggy’s toxic ways, but this is a good tip. My partner finally got Discord this weekend and started playing video games with some SHLers, so we’ll see how this goes.

---

All in all, I hope at least one of these tips helps someone, especially those just starting their SHL journey. I think the best advice is to just not be on your phone all the time, something I am trying to get better at but still fail at on occasion. All joking aside, I hope y’all are able to find significant others and friends who can still stare at you fondly when they realize you’re a big simulation hockey nerd. They might not think it makes you cool, but I sure do. If they don’t stare at you fondly for other reasons already, then maybe it’s because you’re a jerk and should change your ways. Maybe that would make me want to be more of your valentines, since you should be living for my approval, as I think most of us already knew. Now it’s time for me to follow tip 2. Just kidding, I'll probably train Saturday morning.

Shout-out to @Jearim whom I did reach out to for tips as well, but he did not respond, so now you can’t be mad at me for not asking you GM questions in my last BNB Jr. article :zoomeyes:. Or you can, but plz don't trade me.

SHL Guide Volume 2 coming soon. Think we missed something? Have suggestions for future SHL guides like this? Leave them in the comments!

***WannabeFinn*** · 02-14-2019, 12:42 PM

@mcgriddleluver we should use this guide

Zombiewolf · 02-14-2019, 01:16 PM

I go with never mentioning SHL ever but like this works to

Thank you Brandon, Fish, GeckoeyGecko, Karey, Kit, takethehorizon, and Ragnar for the sigs!
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***JKortesi81*** · 02-14-2019, 01:18 PM

*whistles*

Sometimes I need to re-read this.

ml002 · 02-14-2019, 01:18 PM

This is an excellent article bilbs! Some quality advice in here

Credit to Copenhagen, Wasty, FlappyGiraffe, InciteHysteria, and caltroit_red_flames
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slothfacekilla · 02-14-2019, 01:28 PM

Crap I wish this came out yesterday, my wife left me this morning.

bilbo · 02-14-2019, 01:45 PM

02-14-2019, 01:18 PMml002 Wrote: This is an excellent article bilbs! Some quality advice in here

Thanks, ml! Just trying to be helpful (and make money).

02-14-2019, 01:28 PMslothfacekilla Wrote: Crap I wish this came out yesterday, my wife left me this morning.

Nooooo

***notorioustig*** · 02-14-2019, 02:22 PM

This is some wholesome shit

***CampinKiller*** · 02-14-2019, 02:45 PM

02-14-2019, 01:16 PMZombiewolf Wrote: I go with never mentioning SHL ever but like this works to

Yeah this.

At the bar last night and opened up safari to google something and this was up. Just said it was a hockey thing

crutch · 02-14-2019, 02:57 PM

Informative and helpful

A rare combination in an shl article. Nice work bilbo

TnlAstatine · 02-14-2019, 03:02 PM

where is the tip on acquiring said significant other :thinking:

bilbo · 02-14-2019, 05:14 PM

02-14-2019, 02:22 PMnotorioustig Wrote: This is some wholesome shit

Ty, it's the content I wish to see.

02-14-2019, 02:45 PMCampinKiller Wrote:
02-14-2019, 01:16 PMZombiewolf Wrote: I go with never mentioning SHL ever but like this works to

Yeah this.

At the bar last night and opened up safari to google something and this was up. Just said it was a hockey thing

Rude that someone was reading over your shoulder, but I hope u had a nice time at the bar. SHL is one of the least embarrassing things about me, so props to you and Zombiewolf for being cooler than me.